


A Weekend with Doctor Ramsey

by AlwaysMyChoices



Series: Life With and Without Dr. Ramsey [1]
Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Boss/Employee Relationship, Developing Relationship, F/M, Love, Medicine, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:33:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 41,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysMyChoices/pseuds/AlwaysMyChoices
Summary: Dr. Charlie Green's life is falling apart - she's on the verge of losing her career at her ethics trial, her best friend betrayed her, and her mentor has abandoned her to fight his own demons. And then one drunk text changed it all.Now caught up in a weekend with Dr. Ethan Ramsey, Charlie suddenly has a new question to add to her growing uncertainty: does she love Dr. Ramsey?(REWRITE OF THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS OF BOOK 1)(originally posted on Tumblr by @AlwaysMyChoices)
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart), Ethan Ramsey/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Life With and Without Dr. Ramsey [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759927
Comments: 3
Kudos: 86





	1. Drunk Texts

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of the last few chapters of OH Book 1 and was originally posted on Tumblr by @AlwaysMyChoices.

_It’s all your fault. You did this. You killed her. How can you even call yourself a doctor?_

Charlie woke with a start, a jumble of words lingering in her mind as the nightmare began to dissipate. Her fingers turned white as she gripped the sheet, desperate for the last three words to leave her: _It’s your fault_. But they didn’t leave. She was tormented by them just as much in reality as in her dream.

Charlie held out her arm, blindly reaching for the alarm clock on her bedside table to check the time, but… it wasn’t there. Startled, Charlie sat up peered through the dark room for the familiar glow of her clock, convinced she must have knocked it over during her nightmare, but there was no eerie glow to guide her.

“What the…?” Charlie mumbled, gripping her head as dizziness suddenly swamped her brain. She tried to remember what happened the night before, but it was a blur. She didn’t remember much after arriving at the bar, and she definitely didn’t remember coming home.

Charlie slowly crept out of bed, fumbling in the dark room for some light source, and after bumping into several pieces of furniture, she found a light switch and flipped it without a second thought. She winced as the artificial light illuminated her surroundings, and with a grumbling dissatisfaction, she recognized the signs of a brutal hangover starting to form.

“This… isn’t my room,” Charlie gulped, surveying the modern furniture of a tasteful yet clearly unused bedroom. Something about it felt vaguely familiar, but Charlie was far too encumbered by her banging headache to figure out why she recognized it.

_Maybe Lahela just took me to his apartment last night?_ she thought to herself, trying to explain her new surroundings without considering the more dangerous alternatives as to why she was in an unfamiliar room instead of her own apartment.

Thoughts felt like they were burning into her brain, causing pain with each attempt at deduction. Charlie shook her head, trying to cast off any detective work until she could get her hands on some water.

She opened the bedroom door and stumbled out into a hallway, suddenly aware of her sore limbs and uncomfortable skinny jeans still hugging her body. They were the same ones she’d worn to the bar last night, the extra pair she kept in her locker in case she didn’t feel like wandering back to her apartment in scrubs. Charlie’s stomach lurched as she remembered the locker room…

_Landry_.

For a moment, the nausea settled in her stomach turned to boiling betrayal. The thought of him made her want to scream and cry at the same time, and her mind battled between wanting to destroy him and wanting to hide from him. She remembered the first time they met, how happy she was to find another nervous intern that was just as obsessed with Dr. Ramsey as she was. She’d instinctively trusted him and could never have imagined that the ambition they shared would ever betray her.

Tears prickled at her eyes, but Charlie willed them back, rationalizing that she was too dehydrated to waste body fluids on him.

Deciding that she didn’t want to think about him anymore, Charlie straightened her spine and navigated the dim hallway to find a glass of water ASAP.

When she exited the hallway, she found herself in the main room of a sprawling apartment. The stunning cityscape glittered back at her through the floor-to-ceiling windows, illuminating a lavish living room leading to a chef’s kitchen. All at once, Charlie realized where she was, and her jaw dropped.

_No, no, it can’t be_ \- Charlie didn’t even get to finish the thought.

“Good morning, rookie.”

Charlie grimaced, recognizing the voice immediately. Despite herself, she felt a rush of happiness at the sound of her nickname. It sparked months of longing and years of admiration, and she couldn’t fight the way her heart swelled at the mere thought of his presence.

Charlie slowly turned to face the voice and confirm her suspicions.

_Ethan Ramsey._

She was in Ethan Ramsey’s apartment, hungover in last night’s clothes with absolutely no memory as to how she ended up in his guest bedroom.

If only the first-year med student fangirling over Ramsey’s textbook could see where she was now…

“Dr. Ramsey,” Charlie swallowed heavily, her skin prickling with embarrassment as she took a few tentative steps towards the kitchen.

Ethan Ramsey had never looked so… _human_. One week without a job had transformed her hero into an actual human being, and it startled Charlie. His stubble was longer than usual, less carefully groomed that she’d always seen it. His hair was a mess of bedhead, some parts even sticking up, and his sweatpants were rumbled from sleep. Charlie could have spent days in shock over the revelation that _the_ Ethan Ramsey even owned sweatpants, but despite herself, her cheeks flushed as she realized he was _only_ wearing sweatpants. How the hell did a workaholic doctor look like _that_ without a shirt? Terrified she’d start drooling any moment, she averted her gaze to the crossword puzzle in front of him, and a small smile perked at her lips. _Of course, he loves crosswords_.

“How much do you remember from last night?” Ramsey’s question caught Charlie off guard, and fighting through her hazy hangover brain, she struggled to process the question.

“Nothing,” she admitted solemnly, “Nothing after tequila shots at the bar, at least.”

Under Ethan’s watchful eye, Charlie half-expected a pop quiz for her to demonstrate her deductions and piece together how she ended up here, but Ethan wasn’t her boss anymore. He was no longer the teacher pushing a student towards success. Now… Ethan didn’t know what he was.

A former boss? A knight in shining armor? A creepy former teacher who kept finding himself in compromising situations with an enigmatic intern?

Maybe even a friend?

When he looked at Charlie, it was obvious that she was miserable. Even now, he could smell the hint of tequila on her clothes from a long night of trying to forget her problems, and imagining such a scene caused his heart to squeeze. He could picture her so easily, slumped into a barstool as she desperately tried to forget the decisions she’d made. He’d been there enough to know how she felt… And he suddenly wished he couldn’t picture it. Maybe he could have prevented this. He could have been a better mentor. He could have actually told her what to do instead of forcing her to figure it out as she went along.

_He could have stayed_.

The thought nearly paralyzed Ethan as he suddenly understood the lingering hurt behind her stare. He’d hadn’t just left Edenbrook. He left _Charlie_ , too.

“What happened last night?” Charlie hesitated, so embarrassed that she almost didn’t want to ask. Charlie had never been one to disappoint. She’d been a stellar student her entire life, always reaching new heights and finding solutions to every problem. Sure, she’d disappointed people along the way, but disappointing Ethan was different. The shame manifested itself deeply, in a way she’d never felt before.

Ethan paused and then reached for the cell phone plugged into a nearby outlet. He handed over her smartphone, and wordlessly, Charlie her text messages to see a brand new text thread.

_Oh no_ … Charlie felt like she might puke as she scrolled through all of the messages she’d sent “Ethan ❤️☠️.”

There were so many messages, each more embarrassing than the last. It went through pages of Charlie drunk texting him about how she’d made new friends in the bar and didn’t need him coming to her rescue. He asked several times where she was, and somehow, Charlie thought of a new way not to tell him. At one point, she even wrote how he “wasn’t even that handsome” unless you’re into the “brooding, sexy thing.” By the time she reached the bottom, Charlie slumped into a barstool at his kitchen island and avoided eye contact like the plague.

“I’m so sorry,” Charlie mumbled, unable to think of anything else to say. If she could have, she would have disappeared.

Ethan couldn’t help but smile, still finding her insincere attempts to insult him funny, and he placed a glass of water in front of her along with a few tablets of ibuprofen.

“It’s okay. I was just happy to be ‘Dr. McSexy to the rescue,’” Ethan couldn’t resist the urge to tease her.

Charlie’s eyes shot to his, desperate to see if he was kidding, and when she realized he wasn’t, she groaned. “I didn’t say that, did I?”

“Only about 5 times,” Ethan shrugged as if it was nothing and couldn’t help but laugh when she winced at the thought.

“Fuck,” Charlie held her head in her hands, “I’m never drinking again.”

Ethan chuckled, nodding to the glass of water, “Drink that. And take the ibuprofen. I can only imagine the hangover you have right now.”

Charlie obeyed, peering up at him curiously, “How did you even find me? I went out of my way to go to a bar in the middle of nowhere to avoid running into people I knew. And it doesn’t seem like I was being very helpful.” Charlie vaguely motioned towards her cell phone.

Honestly, Ethan wasn’t sure if he wanted to admit the lengths he’d gone to find her. He’d practically searched every bar in Boston before he found her, becoming increasingly concerned when he didn’t see her at every turn. He’d been so scared…

He blocked out the mental image and shrugged instead of answering, “I just found you.”

Charlie watched him, knowing that he was hiding something, but she didn’t push. If she’d learned anything from Dr. Ramsey, it was when not to push him… She’d done it before, and every time, she went home sad and rejected.

“You cried the whole way here…” Ramsey’s voice was so soft she almost didn’t hear it, “I… I wasn’t very good at listening to you before I…” he trailed off, but Charlie could easily finish it – _before I left_.

“What did I say?” Charlie tried to laugh it off as if they were still talking about her drunken adventure the night before, but they both knew it was more than that.

“You told me that Dr. Emery is investigating you, what Dr. Olsen did, that… I abandoned you when you needed me.” There was shame in Ethan’s voice.

Charlie paused, unsure of how to proceed. She hadn’t dared let herself say that to anyone, not even herself, but now it was out. Now, it existed. Now, Charlie had to admit that, after months of supporting Ethan at every turn, he _let her down_. He left without ever wondering what it would do to her. He marched right past her as she begged him to stay.

The cold, stinging rejection returned, spreading through her body like wildfire.

Charlie had never wanted anyone to stay like she’d wanted him to. And as her friends circled around her and bolstered her with support, she could never stop thinking about the one person she wanted to be beside her.

“It’s not your job to support me anymore,” Charlie shrugged it off as best she could, putting on an obviously fake brave face, “Hell, it was never really your job anyway.”

“Charlie…” Ethan tried, but she was already getting off the stool.

“I should get going. You’re not paid to deal with annoying interns anymore,” Charlie grabbed her phone, peering around the room to find more of her belongings so that she could leave as soon as possible.

There was a reason why she hadn’t contacted him since he left, and now, she remembered it.

“Charlie, wait,” Ethan stopped her, grabbing her arm, and she froze at the touch. She looked back at him, eyes full of confusion… and hope.

This was it. The moment he could finally say it. He could tell her of all the long nights he’d stayed up thinking about her. All of the times he took the long way in the hospital just to get a glimpse of her. All of the times he’d been proud of her and what she’d achieved. How deeply he hoped she would win the competition just so he could spend more time with her. All of the times he’d almost broken all of the rules for her.

How much he loved her.

But something stopped him. Maybe it was fear of losing her, or maybe it was fear that she loved him, too…

“I’m sorry. You’ve supported me, and I should have supported you,” Ethan swallowed, “You’re a good doctor, but you’re an even better person.”

Charlie’s jaw nearly dropped, and a swell of a familiar euphoria filled her body at his words. She’d never say what it was, though, deep down, she’d always known it was love.

“Thank you.”

Ethan wanted to say so much more, but instead, he released her arm and turned back to the kitchen, pressing a few buttons on the coffee maker to make two cups for the morning. It was a presumptuous move, but honestly, he couldn’t have taken it if she really did rush out of his apartment – and his life – that morning.

“I’m visiting Naveen at his river house today. He’d love to see you,” Ethan glanced up at her, issuing a silent invitation.

“I’m not sure he wants to see someone who smells so distinctly like tequila and mistakes,” Charlie flushed, watching him make the two mugs with warm butterflies in her belly. _He wants me to stay_ , she thought to herself.

“You can use my shower, and I’m sure you can find a change of clothes around here,” Ethan suggested.

“Do you have enough women over to keep a change of clothes for them?” Charlie arched an eyebrow, hoping that the jealousy brewing inside didn’t slip into her voice.

“I meant, one of my tee shirts, Charlie,” Ethan couldn’t shake the smile as he recognized the jealousy in her voice.

“So, I have permission to raid your secret drawer of embarrassing tee shirts?” Charlie was obviously enthused.

“What makes you think I have a secret drawer of embarrassing tee shirts?” Ethan laughed.

“You’re unpredictable, and I personally enjoy the mental image of you in an embarrassing tee shirt,” Charlie insisted.

Ethan cocked an eyebrow, “You enjoy the mental image of _Dr. McSexy_ in an embarrassing tee shirt?”

Charlie groaned, hiding her face as she turned a bright shade of red, “I’ll never live that down.”

Ethan didn’t answer because he knew that he would never forget that, though he honestly doubted that he would ever forget anything about Dr. Charlie Greene…


	2. A Day with Dr. Ramsey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Embarrassed after drunk texting Dr. Ramsey and requiring his late-night rescue, Charlie still can't shake the presence of her trusted mentor and tags along on his visit to Naveen.

There were no embarrassing t-shirts. No “Turkey Trot 5K”s or “World’s Okayest Doctor.” The best Charlie found was an old medical school t-shirt, and Ethan could see the disappointment on her face when she returned wearing a plain grey t-shirt from his closet.

“Any luck with embarrassing t-shirts?” Ethan mused, already dressed for the day.

“You hid them, didn’t you?” Charlie narrowed her eyes, her dedication so comical that Ethan wished he could have offered a confession.

“I gave them to Jenner as chew toys,” Ethan retorted, and he watched as Charlie struggled not to show the smile forming on her lips. In that moment, he decided that of all of the Charlie expressions he’d seen, _that_ was his favorite. The way she bit back a smile and swallowed her laughter, eyes shining with amusement, made his world stop. She was so happy then, and she tried so hard to maintain her aloof sense of sarcasm just to make their banter last longer. She wanted to keep talking with him, to keep having _fun_ with him. He never knew he needed such validation until he met Charlie, but now, he couldn’t get enough.

“Walking through your closet was like looking through a catalog for respectable men in their thirties,” Charlie had to walk past him to reach the coffee he’d made for her while she was in the shower, and in the process, Ethan caught a waft of his body wash on her skin. For a moment, the sensation overwhelmed him. Before, Ethan had no idea that he would be so intoxicated by Charlie brandishing his scent, but now, he couldn’t help but think of every possible way to make sure it happened again.

Charlie watched him, unaware as to why he suddenly seemed so dumbfounded, and she sipped at her coffee, waiting for him to say something in return.

“Apparently, I am so far gone that I can’t even recognize the insult in that statement,” Ramsey forced the words out of his mouth, taking a large gulp of his caffeinated beverage to forget all of the scenes now playing in his head.

“Ethan, I saw a sweater vest in there. It was a nightmare,” Charlie shook her head as if she was disappointed.

“My closet is starting to feel very attacked,” Ethan found himself smiling and could only imagine what he must have looked like, grinning like a fool and practically drooling over a woman in his t-shirt.

“Your choice of shampoo, however,” Charlie nodded approvingly, “If I’d known your hair smelled that amazing this whole time, I probably would have spent every day just smelling you.”

Ethan couldn’t help but chuckle, “I can tell you found your tour through my bedroom very enlightening.”

Charlie blushed, trying to conceal the spreading redness by hiding behind her coffee cup. Did she really just say that _she’d like to smell him all day_? It took all of her energy not to physically grimace, and she tried to divert his attention by mumbling, “Thank you, by the way.”

Ethan raised an eyebrow, and Charlie went on to explain, “For letting me clean up and not look like a walking hangover for the rest of the day.”

“Consider it a public service,” Ethan teased.

“I had no idea you were so charitable, Dr. Ramsey,” Charlie was smiling again, and Ethan practically had a physical reaction to it. It was as if simply flashing her teeth in a sign of approval could relieve the tension in his body and produce a brief euphoria, momentarily rendering him unable to do anything but smile back at her.

If he could bottle the feeling he had when he saw Charlie smile, Ethan Ramsey would have destroyed a whole sector of the drug market.

This wasn’t the first time Ethan noticed that he was affected by Dr. Greene, and he was long past his days of denial. To _not_ recognize the enigmatic influence of Greene would be senseless at this point. It was one thing when she was the intriguing intern. In his years at Edenbrook, he’d seen many charming interns pass through the halls, but none had been of consequence.

There was something different about Charlie – something he’d never seen before. When he looked through her records, he knew she’d be a competent if not accomplished doctor, and he appropriately advocated for her match at Edenbrook. Ethan anticipated the possibility of mentoring the promising, young doctor, and he acknowledged the associated emotional connection that accompanies mentorship. But _this_ … This was more than Ethan could have imagined.

This was consuming and overwhelming and warm and terrifying, and despite his best efforts, he couldn’t shake Charlotte Greene.

Ethan Ramsey had never felt like this before, and he was surprised by the amount of terror he felt. How could one person affect him so much in such a short amount of time? And why, out of hundreds of thousands of people in Boston, did it have to be _her_? A bright, promising intern whose career could be ruined by his unchecked affection. And why couldn’t he leave her alone?

“Ethan?” Charlie asked, surprised by his apparent silence, and Ethan’s head snapped up, thankful to be forced from his train of thought.

“Sorry, a little tired,” Ethan lied. It was an obvious lie, but if Charlie realized, she didn’t let on.

“I’m sure chasing a drunk girl across Boston was exhausting,” Charlie’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She still remembered nothing from the night before, but if her texts were any indication, she had a lot to be embarrassed about. “Dr. Sexy” was horrifying enough, but that was just the tip of the iceberg to how she felt about him. What hole had she dug herself into, and did she even want to ask?

“It was worth it.” _That_ was honest, and Charlie could see it in his face.

She was smiling again, unable to contain a sudden warmth spreading through her body as her heart briefly fluttered from the idea that Dr. Ramsey thought she was worth it.

Dr. Ramsey turned Charlie into a lovesick schoolgirl, and it was mortifying. Charlotte Greene was a highly-educated adult woman. She was passed the days of doodling “Mrs. Ramsey” in her notebook in class, but just a few moments with Ethan transformed her into a sentimental fool. And it didn’t make it any easier that she couldn’t crack him. He was the one man she couldn’t diagnose. She couldn’t see past his emotional walls and deflecting behavior, and every lingering glance or surprising display of affection confused her more. Who was Ethan Ramsey, and was he as pathetically in love as she was?

“I haven’t seen Jenner much this morning,” Charlie briefly bit on her lower lip, and Ethan was so distracted he almost couldn’t respond.

“Oh… he’s in bed, I think.”

“Really?” Charlie laughed, “I assumed that living with you would make him a morning puppy.”

“He braves mornings for me but sleeps as soon as he can afterward,” Ethan beamed as he talked about his dog. After years alone, Jenner had been a constant companion, and he gave Ethan something outside of work to keep him grounded, “I’m sure he’s especially tired after staying up with you most of the night.”

“He stayed with me?” Charlie’s expression was suddenly full of childlike excitement.

“Right up until you woke up. He likes you,” Ethan couldn’t pretend to be surprised. Who didn’t love Charlie? He sure as hell did.

Charlie leaned onto the kitchen island, holding her coffee cup to her lips with a wistful smile, “I am determined to become your dog’s best friend.”

Ethan choked on his coffee with laughter, amused by the suggestion but not at all surprised by the statement _. Of course_ , Charlie would want to befriend his dog.

For a moment, Ethan was drawn into a fantasy of life with Charlie… Morning coffee, walking through the park with Jenner in tow, coming home to see someone he loved in the other side of his bed.

_No. You can’t do that to yourself._

Ethan forced the image out of his mind. It would only do more harm than good.

“We should probably leave soon if we want to avoid traffic,” Ethan stood suddenly, finishing his coffee and looking for his car keys to distract himself.

Charlie was confused about his sudden shift in behavior, but she shrugged it off, similarly finishing her coffee and holding up a leash from a kitchen drawer.

“Can Jenner come?”

* * *

The drive to Naveen’s home was littered with occasional small talk and frequent changes in the radio station, much to Ethan’s chagrin. Though he knew the way, Ethan quickly recognized that Charlie needed something to do, and he turned over all navigation to her. He found that, though a competent doctor, her directions were insufficient, and had he not been confident in his path, he would have grown irritated with her. But instead, he found humor in her sudden gasps of “oh shit, turn right!” and “fuck, it says we should have turned there.”

Undoubtedly, Jenner enjoyed the drive the most. Somehow, he weaseled out of the backseat and settled comfortably in Charlie’s lap, and for a moment, Ethan couldn’t tell who was more smitten with Charlie – him or his dog.

“And we should be… here…” Charlie leaned forward in her seat, making Jenner shift, to look for a sign that we had arrived. Instead, she was greeted with an apparent wall of trees, “What the…?”

At this point, Ethan decided to relieve her of her navigational duties and drove towards a break in the trees. He found the small, hidden drive. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Charlie’s expression fill with amazement and curiosity. After a minute or so of wandering down the drive, Naveen’s river house appeared, and Ethan could see his mentor pouring over an easel on the dock.

Naveen looked so… frail yet at ease. He’d embraced his death sentence with a friendly smile and resigned to spend his final moments only doing things he enjoyed. Ethan offered to stay with him at the river, offering companionship and medical care as his health deteriorated, but Naveen refused. In his last days, he wanted Ethan to be family, not his doctor, and he wanted memories to be fond, not burdened by the daily care of a patient.

Even now, the pain on Ethan’s face was apparent, and Charlie instinctively reached for him, placing her hand on his arm and giving him a gentle squeeze.

Ethan was surprised, and as he looked over to Charlie, she gave him a gentle smile that left little room for talk.

He didn’t need to say that he was sad. She already knew that. And she didn’t need to tell him that she was here to support him because she’d already shown him.

When Ethan’s car pulled into park, there was silence. Charlie’s eyes never left Ethan, waiting for a sign that he was ready to get out of the car and face his dying father figure. She never rushed him, instead offering her hand on top of his. She was gentle, unsure if he would accept the sign of support, but to her surprise, he laced his fingers through hers and squeezed tightly.

“Are you okay?” her whisper was soft and concerned.

Ethan considered her question for a moment before nodding his head, “Yeah… Thank you, Rookie.”

He hadn’t realized that he used the nickname, and it was the first time he heard the level of affection he placed in it. Had he always sounded so enamored?

Charlie let out a gentle chuckle. It had been a long time since she’d heard that, and she never thought she’d be so happy to hear it.

“Come on, Jenner wants to say hello,” Charlie placed a gentle kiss on Jenner’s head, and he practically turned to mush. Charlie leashed Jenner before opening the door, and Jenner happily stuck by her side as they got out of the car and made their way to the dock.

Naveen saw Ethan first and waved enthusiastically, abandoning his painting and walking towards his former colleague. Even from a distance, Naveen saw a change in his friend. Sleepless nights and scotch had aged him since leaving the hospital, and a sense of finality followed him. Failure was not a good look for his dear friend, and it pained Naveen to think of leaving Ethan behind when he was in such a poor state…

“There you are! I was beginning to worry. You’re always punctual,” Naveen called out to Ethan, but as he got closer, the answer to his friend’s tardiness revealed itself.

Dr. Charlotte Green appeared from behind Ethan with Jenner in tow. Even as she smiled and waved, it was evident that she stood by Ethan’s side. It was as if she and Jenner had formed a silent attachment to protect their pained friend, and suddenly, Naveen wasn’t so worried about leaving Ethan alone in the world.

“Dr. Greene!” Naveen greeted her warmly, occasionally glancing at Ethan as if trying to confirm the obvious. Now that she was closer, Naveen found clues that she’d spent the night with Ethan, and he began to wonder how long Ethan had guarded such a secret from him.

“Please, call me Charlie,” she smiled, seemingly oblivious to Naveen’s assumption that they’d slept together, “I hope you don’t mind that I tagged along, Dr. Banerji.”

“Of course, I don’t mind! You were once one of my only companions in Edenbrook, and for that, I consider you a friend,” Naveen was sincere. Like Ethan, he saw something special in the young intern, and had his health permitted, he would have liked to form a friendship with Dr. Greene. He imagined that, by the way Ethan looked at her, she would have quickly become an significant element in both of their lives. “I am now a retired man. Call me Naveen, Charlie.”

“Thank you, Dr-“ Charlie stopped herself, “ _Naveen._ ”

Naveen smiled and pulled her into an unexpected hug that Charlie happily reciprocated. And for a moment, Charlie reverted back to her med school daydreaming and almost pinched herself when she realized the famed Dr. Banerji was hugging her.

In his embrace, Charlie could see how Ethan adored Naveen so. If anyone could feel like an intern’s medical school grandpa, it was Dr. Banerji. In his retirement, he’d abandoned his white coat for a warm sweater vest that smelled of acrylic paint, aftershave, and peppermint candies. His roaring laughter warmed anyone who heard it, and his gentle, attentive smile demonstrated his genuine affection.

Charlie bit back an oncoming wave of sadness as she remembered that this wonderful, tender man was dying.

When Naveen released her, he caught a flash of the pain in her expression, but she quickly returned to a polite smile as Naveen invited the two for coffee in the kitchen. Jenner, excited by a few ducks in his view, hurried and forced Charlie a few paces ahead of Naveen and Ethan.

With a hand on Ethan’s shoulder, Naveen looked at his friend with a telling smile.

“She’s wearing your shirt, Ethan,” Naveen didn’t have to specify the obvious insinuation.

“She slept in my guest room,” Ethan grumbled, somewhat embarrassed by Naveen’s excitement.

“Ah, but you brought her here this morning,” Naveen was satisfied that his young friend had not yet accepted what was very obvious to him.

When Naveen received the news of his impending death, he mourned the life he lost. He mourned the patients he could no longer save, the world he could no longer serve, and the people he could no longer love. But more than any other, he mourned the years he would miss of Ethan’s life. He regretted that, in their years of companionship, he had never seen Ethan fall in love. Ethan’s life had been a series of carefully planned decisions, each furthering his illustrious career and cementing his success, but in all of his deliberate choices, he had never made one to love someone. Once, Ethan came very, very close, but that chapter had been closed a long time ago.

In all of those years, Naveen had never seen Ethan look at anyone like he looked at Charlotte Greene, and Naveen was filled with hope for the two. But the warm hope was followed by sadness that Naveen didn’t get to see how their story ended.

Naveen’s home, much like his apartment in the city, was filled with books. Most were medical, and a few had been written by himself. There were classics and popular titles mixed in at random, most of which Naveen had never read but purchased to read “someday.” And with his days now numbered, he’d pulled them off the shelves and stacked them on various end tables, occasionally picking one up and switching at random. There were fishing rods and unfinished paintings littering Naveen’s living room, and Charlie spotted several unused golf clubs in the corner. Naveen dedicated his remaining time to his various passions in life – all but one. He could never satisfy the burning curiosity that evaded deduction, and he resigned himself to let go of the final mystery of his diagnosis.

Charlie noted that the medical books were not pulled out, and she felt a wave of surprise. Until now, she’d never believed that Dr. Banerji had really given up.

“Coffee?” Naveen offered, already preparing a cup as he had never known Ethan to reject such a proposal. As he poured a second cup for himself, he noticed that Charlie’s eyes had settled on his fishing rod.

“Do you fish, Charlie?”

Charlie nearly jumped, surprised by the question.

“When I was a kid,” Charlie admitted with a sheepish smile, “It was my grandfather’s favorite pastime.”

“Ah,” Naveen broke out in a wide grin, “Ethan won’t fish with me!”

“You won’t fish?” Charlie raised an eyebrow at Ethan, “I thought you’d do anything to avoid small talk.”

 _I knew I liked her_ , Naveen thought to himself.

“Even I have limits, Rookie.”

Naveen couldn’t contain his smile as he watched the two and proudly brandished it when Ethan looked back at him, much to Ethan’s embarrassment and Naveen’s amusement.

“As your Grandmentor, I’d be honored if you joined me on the dock. Who knows? You might even be the missing ingredient to get Ethan to fish after all these years,” Naveen took a sip of his coffee, happy with himself for putting his mentee on the spot and daring him to say no to her.

And if Ethan thought it was hard enough to say no to Charlotte Greene, he certainly couldn’t do it now.

“To satisfy an old friend, I will consent to a boring pastime,” Ethan agreed, and he could see the words hiding behind Naveen’s smile: _You’re doing it for her_.

* * *

That day, the river echoed the laughter coming from Dr. Banerji’s dock.

The three doctors spent some time seriously baiting fish on the river, even catching a few that Banerji insisted they would cook later that night, but the seriousness of the pursuit quickly evaporated. Banerji and Greene were first to laugh, though they both tried to stop in fear of “scaring the fish away.” However, a competition developed in which they all tried to contain laughter as Banerji and Greene told jokes. Ramsey, unsurprisingly, was the obvious victor, and while Banerji and Greene dissolved into fits of laughter, they worked together to earn his laughter.

In the end, it was Charlie who won, and once the competition had been decided, they moved onto another activity. While putting away their gear, Charlie stumbled upon Banerji’s latest unfinished painting. It only took one compliment of his work for Banerji to light up, and he handed her an easel, offering to teach her a few tricks. This time, Ethan resisted their requests for him to join, and instead, he and Jenner offered to judge when they were done.

Charlie painted terribly, but Banerji wasn’t much better.

It wasn’t long before Dr. Greene and Dr. Banerji were thick as thieves. She trusted and adored him instantly, and Banerji reciprocated. She was a lovely young woman, but even if she hadn’t been, her affection for Ethan was enough to make him appreciate her.

At some point, Ethan meandered back to the house where he picked up a stray book from the growing collection of titles on Naveen’s coffee table, and he watched the two paint through the expansive windows, a smile tugging on the corner of his lips.

“It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen him so happy…” Naveen’s words were soft enough to almost be lost in the passing breeze, but they caught Charlie’s attention with a jolt of surprise.

Charlie looked at the man beside her, a sad smile on her lips, “He’s in a lot of pain.”

She didn’t waste time pretending that she didn’t know what he was talking about or acting surprised at the implication of his words. They both knew what this looked like, and Charlie was not skilled enough to hide the obvious way she felt about her teacher. To deny it was to waste the short time Naveen had left, and he was the only person in the world she felt she could talk about it with.

Naveen nodded thoughtfully, “Will you be there for him when I am not?”

“I don’t know if he’ll let me,” Charlie admitted with shame in her voice. A dying man was asking her to care for his loved one, and she wasn’t even sure she could complete her request.

Naveen chuckled, “Ethan may hold you at arm’s length, but he’s never let you go, has he?”

Charlie thought back to his time away from Edenbrook, all of the texts she’d almost sent and all of the days she’d hoped he would reach out. He’d never felt so far away from her, and it pained her more than she expected. But one drunk text, and now she was here…

She considered Naveen’s comment, growing silent as she returned to her painting. Had Ethan ever let her go?

Ethan abandoned his book eventually and returned to the dock, and that essentially silenced their previous conversation. By this point, both had grown tired of painting, and they abandoned it in favor of a new activity.

This was how the day carried on, moving between new activities with a fleeting commitment to each pastime. Naveen’s new lease on life meant that he didn’t need to finish an activity for the sake of completion, and this philosophy ruled their time together.

Ethan and Naveen played a game of chess while Charlie played with Jenner, and when they discussed another match, a casual suggestion was made to play cards and was enough to change course. Charlie joined them during the second round, and this continued until they found something new to do.

When the sun set on their day on the river, Dr. Banerji invited them to stay for dinner, and declining never occurred to either of his guests. A bottle of white wine was opened as they enjoyed the sunset, and their conversations were littered with laughter and smiles.

Banerji took the lead in cooking dinner, though he promptly found helpers.

Jenner parked himself in the kitchen, waiting for scraps, and Charlie sneaked him treats quite frequently. Ethan pretended not to notice, and Naveen hid his smile by focusing on the fish. When they finished cooking, they carried their meal to the deck overlooking the river. Ethan lit the candles while Naveen and Charlie set the table, and once they were all seated, Naveen raised his glass.

“To good friends and time well spent,” Naveen toasted, and suddenly, an unwanted reminder presented itself… _Naveen’s still dying_. A lump formed in Ethan’s throat as he raised his glass, and without missing a beat, Charlie’s hand silently rested on his beneath the table, offering silent support.

Ethan’s smile was grateful and adoring as he looked down at Charlie, and Naveen felt a sense of relief wash over him. His boy was loved…

Dinner carried on in the same spirit of their day. They laughed and joked and enjoyed themselves freely. The jokes carried on with particular attention to Ethan’s less than stellar cooking abilities, and they enjoyed teasing each other. Long after they finished their food, they continued their conversation with wine under the moonlight.

Eventually, the conversation shifted to hospital gossip. Naveen, now out of hiding, remained in contact with several of his friends at Edenbrook but was eager to hear more from Charlie. Remembering how much he loved gossip, she happily obliged.

“From what I hear, Dr. Lahela has quickly amassed a group of followers,” Dr. Banerji’s smile was full of mischief, “You’re friends with him, no?”

“Bryce and I are friends, yes,” Charlie nodded her head, amused by Naveen’s apparent enthusiasm for hospital gossip.

“Is he as scandalous as the rumors say?”

“Even more so.”

Naveen nodded appreciatively, and after eyeing Ethan for a moment, he dared to ask, “Have you partaken in the scandals?”

Charlie choked on her wine, eyes wide with surprise. _Was he asking if she fucked Lahela?_ Naveen was unphased by her response, acting as if it were a typical question as he poured himself a glass of wine. Even in the dim candlelight of the night, Charlie’s blush was noticeable.

“That’s not very polite to ask,” Charlie feigned a dramatic affront, somewhat hoping that she could avoid answering the question. She was aware of Ethan’s eyes on her. For a moment, Ethan considered jumping in to save her, and he would have if not for his sudden need to know the answer.

Jealousy flashed through his veins as he thought about the way Dr. Lahela looked at her…

“You don’t have to answer, of course,” Naveen insisted.

“Well…” Charlie bit her lower lip, taking a deep breath before stammering, “I…” Charlie laughed at herself, shaking her head at how nervous she was. What did it matter if she fucked Bryce? It’s not like Ethan didn’t have the option and rejected it, “I had sex with Lahela, yes, if that’s what you’re asking.”

It took enormous self-control for Ethan not to jump out of his skin at her confirmation.

Naveen looked proud of Charlie, but she didn’t know if he was proud of her confession or that she’d slept with Bryce. Either way, she accepted his smile and casually watched Ethan’s reaction.

“Any rumors to add in circulation?” Naveen teased her, and for a moment, she wondered if he’d asked just to make Ethan jealous. And should she thank him for that?

“No, Dr. Nosy, I have nothing to add,” Charlie playfully reprimanded him, “Bryce is a very good _friend_ of mine.”

Naveen raised his hands in surrender, and Ethan remained silent. He could hardly focus on the conversation surrounding him. Instead, he was haunted of images of Lahela touching her, _claiming_ her… Jealousy prickled at his skin, burning him alive from inside. Suddenly, Ethan was aware of the fallacy of his assumptions. All this time, he’d thought Charlie was his, but now, he knew that he had no right to make that claim. He’d pushed her away every time she offered her heart but held her too close for her to ever completely leave him.

“How about we talk about the scores of women after you, Dr. Banerji?” Charlie turned it back on him, raising an eyebrow.

Naveen waved off her question with a chuckle, “You flatter an old man.”

“It’s not flattery if it’s the truth,” Charlie assured him, winking for effect, and he continued to laugh.

“Speaking of flattery, I hear congratulations are in order. You performed exceptionally well after the subway derailed. You helped save Rafael Aveiro’s life,” Naveen held his glass up in a toast of respect, “He’s a fine man, a real hero.”

Ethan knew the story well, and he felt a swell of pride in his chest that his rookie had helped so many. He raised his glass in a similar congratulations, but when his eyes met hers, he faltered.

The change in Charlotte was visible, and it startled Ethan. There was guilt in her gaze, as if the mention of Rafael reminded her of betrayal against him.

_Oh…_

Ethan swallowed, suddenly understanding.

She had sex with Lahela, but Rafael was different. She cared for him… Ethan’s body went cold as the idea entered his mind – _she loved him._

Rafael Aveiro was a superhero. He loved with conviction and unencumbered freedom. He never hid his affection for Charlotte, and he never questioned if he deserved her. He loved her in a way that Ethan couldn’t, and how could Ethan ever compete?

Charlie should have loved Rafael, and maybe she did…. But she’d never felt such guilt as she did when she thought about him while sitting next to Ethan. She felt like every tender moment with Rafael was a moment in which she cheated on Ethan, and she had to remind herself of all the times Ethan pushed her away. Rafael didn’t push her away, so why did she keep coming back to Ethan?

For the first time all day, silence fell between the two of them.

The illusion shattered. They weren’t two lovebirds enjoying a day with a mutual friend. It was always more complicated than that…

Naveen filled the silence with a story from his youth, and slowly, they both engaged again. They laughed and participated, and truly, they enjoyed themselves. But between Ethan and Charlie, so many things remained unspoken.

Their conversations carried late into the evening, but every good day must end.

Containing their yawns, the group of three finally concluded their day together. Banerji was exhausted but still sad to see his friends go. He hugged them each tightly and sincerely, giving Charlie a kiss on the cheek as she went. He bid farewell to Jenner with a playful scratch under his chin, and he waved Charlie and Ethan off as their car disappeared down the drive.

Charlotte’s day with Dr. Ramsey ended, and the moon illuminated all of the illusions they shared. Today had been wonderful and magical and fun, and away from hospital politics, they were two people who loved each other deeply spending time with a dear friend. But as the city of Boston approached them, they were two people, irrevocably connected but divided by **unspoken** words.

Dr. Ramsey wasn’t hers to hold, so why couldn’t Charlotte let go?


	3. Unspoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alone together after their day at the lake, Ethan and Charlie are faced with all the words they've left unspoken - and the emotional and physical repercussions of the spark they've denied.

The drive to Boston was quiet.

Jenner had fallen asleep in Charlie’s lap early into the drive, snoozing contently after a long day at the river. Charlie’s directions were no longer needed as Ethan was fully capable of navigating them back to the city without them, and for that, she was grateful. Her mind already felt as if it were bursting at the seams with too many thoughts, and she stared into the passing scenery as if the dark night could provide elusive clarity.

The problem with a magical day is that the sun always sets, and when it does, you’re left in the dark.

When Charlie looked at Dr. Ethan Ramsey, she saw a kaleidoscope of a man. Every angle was a new side of him that she’d never seen before. Sometimes, she felt like she could reach out and connect with the shimmering smile in front of her, but there was always a wall separating her from the illusion. He was so close, but he was still so far away…

Tonight, under the soft moonlight glow, Ethan didn’t look like the confident doctor she’d met in Edenbrook. Concern etched itself into his handsome features, and a lingering air of defeat and disappointment followed him like a cruel haunting. From the passenger side, she could see the knot between his eyebrows, an expression she remembered as his sign of deep concentration. He was thinking hard about something, but Charlie had no idea what.

As much as she admired and adored the man beside her, she couldn’t pretend to fully understand him. She knew him more than most, but there were so many undiscovered layers, so many secrets he kept from her. She wondered if she would ever know all of Ethan. Would he ever let her that close?

“You’re staring,” Ethan cut his eyes to Charlie, unable to contain the urge to take his eyes off the road to look at her. The doctor inside of him chastised such behavior. He’d seen many patients come through his hospital from lovesick injuries, each easily preventable but prompted by reckless actions by someone in love.

But he was retired now, wasn’t he? The doctor inside of him lacked credence over his human desires. And his chief desire was to be close to Dr. Greene, even if she seemed a million miles away tonight.

He imagined Rafael Aveiro looking at her. Rafael’s eyes would never be guarded. They’d unabashedly admire the beautiful intern, no inhibitions to guard like Ramsey. Ethan wondered if Rafael’s gaze had the same intensity of his own. Did Rafael love her?

Of course, he does, Ethan didn’t have to hypothesize. Everyone loved Charlie. They’d be a fool not to. If she could make a man as cold as Ethan form an attachment, what could she do with a man like Rafael? 

Something was stirring inside of Ethan’s chest. Jealousy burned at his skin, every nerve ending overcome with the emotion. His mind was consumed with unwelcome images of the two of them together, of a part of Charlie’s life that he knew nothing about. There was so much more to this enigmatic woman than what he knew. He’d caught glimpses of her fiery determination and self-destructive sense of duty to her patients as well as her lack of self-protective instincts, all of which challenged her career in the upcoming ethics hearing.

A smile perked at his lips as he remembered his own first year of residency. Back then, he was overcome with his own ego, but even in his ambitious drive, did he have the balls to take on Big Pharma like she did? Even today, did he have the reckless bravery of the woman next to him?

There was a swell of pride as he thought about all she’d done. As her mentor, he was severely disappointed in her irresponsible behavior, but as Ethan, he was proud as hell.

“Sorry,” Charlie mumbled, “Just thinking… I guess I focused on you or something.” Charlie’s voice trailed off as if she was pulled back by the tide of her own thoughts.

Ethan glanced at her again, so deeply concentrated. Desperately, he wanted to know what was happening in that mind of hers. More than ever, he wanted to be the man that knew her, the one that cared for her.

But he couldn’t ask for that.

Because if he did, he would be forced to answer the unasked question lingering in every interaction – Did Ethan Ramsey love Charlie Greene?

Theoretically, such a realization should have been the culmination of his linear progression of acceptance. Their relationship began with disdain and disinterest. Though he was impressed by her gumption and assistance during their first meeting, she was flawed. She had yet to perfect her technique and lacked the experience to trust her intuition. She had potential, of course, but she was merely an unformed piece of clay.

He remembered telling Naveen about their first encounter. He’d given Charlie a scathing review littered with uncharacteristic compliments, and Ethan remembered the look in Naveen’s eyes when he first spoke of her – it was the same look Naveen gave them tonight.

Naveen was a shrewd diagnostician, and he clearly could diagnose Ethan long before Ethan could recognize the change in himself.

Over time, Ethan accepted that he admired Charlie. There was no harm in acknowledging her potential, and he gradually became accustomed to the idea of mentoring the young student. He watched her thrive through the competition, working hard to reach the top spot, and Ethan was free to admit his admiration for her work.

So, when had it become personal? When did the professional relationship seep into his personal life? Had the lines always been blurry, and had his heart been involved the entire time?

Undoubtedly, Ramsey exhibited favoritism, and to Harper’s appreciation, he acknowledged it.

Over time, he accepted different aspects of their unorthodox professional partnership. Charlotte Greene was more than an intern. She was his favorite intern. She was his favorite coworker. She was more than a coworker. She was a friend. She was more than a friend. She was…

It was this final diagnosis that Ethan couldn’t make. What was Charlotte? And could he bear to admit the truth?

“What are you thinking about?” Ethan didn’t anticipate saying those words, and once he did, even he was stunned d by them.

Charlie stared now, disbelief evident in her expression.

“A lot of things,” Charlie was intentionally vague. Since when did Ethan ask her personal questions?

Ethan nodded, honestly disappointed by her evasion.

Silence consumed the car again, but they were too deep in thought to notice.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Dr. Olsen?”

Charlie gasped. Landry. Right.

Somehow, Charlie hadn’t thought of his betrayal once during their adventure with Naveen. Last night, Charlotte Greene tried to drink away her mistakes, one of which was trusting Landry. His deception burned inside of her, irrevocably reframing their friendship. Could she even call it a friendship? Had she always been unwittingly engaged in a silent war with him? If she didn’t have Ethan, would she still have her friend?

Bitter resentment and anger settled into a cold, aching disappointment in the pit of her stomach. She blamed herself for ignoring the obvious signs and for trusting him without any proof of his merit. She questioned others around her, wondering if they held the same disgusting motives as her former friend. She examined her own ambition and its limits. Could she ever do such a thing to someone she loved? And if she could, was she just as bad as him?

“I did,” Charlie laughed weakly.

“When you were drunk,” Ethan corrected her, surprised by his own disappointment and rejection that she hadn’t come to him, “Why didn’t you tell me when you were sober? Why didn’t you tell me about the sabotage when it began?”

Charlie chewed her lower lip, shrugging as she explained, “I don’t know. I didn’t want to give excuses for my problems. Even if you believed me, I would have just been projecting blame. I’m a better doctor than that.”

“If I believed you? Charlie, do you think I wouldn’t have believed you?” Hurt was evident in his voice.

Charlie squirmed, surprised by his accusation and the pain in words. Did it hurt him for her to not trust him?

“I… I don’t know,” Charlie admitted solemnly, “I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.”

“Charlie, I could never be disappointed in you,” Ethan’s conviction was apparent, and it startled Charlie, “You could have told me.”

Something was swelling in Charlie’s chest, but she was terrified to put a label on such an unfamiliar feeling.

“You could have told me you were leaving,” Charlie was emboldened by the intimate space between them. In this car, under the starlight, they were in a world far from that of Edenbrook. They’d never been closer, yet they’d never been farther away.

Silence. Again.

Ethan’s breath hitched, horrified by her words. Guilt wracked his body, a familiar feeling but an unexpected context. Charlie had never seemed so raw, so vulnerable. The truth in her eyes overwhelmed him. After being so guarded for so long, how did one voice all of the words they’d left unspoken?

“I did,” Ethan’s evasiveness now mirrored Charlie’s.

“No,” Charlie had never put so much emphasis on that one word. She’d never felt so strongly that he hadn’t told her. It was as if his narrative challenged everything she knew, everything she experienced, and she didn’t hesitate to remind him of that day, “You kissed me outside the hospital, took off your badge, announced your resignation, and ignored me as I begged you to stay.”

The bitterness in her voice was palpable, and it was strong enough to expose the darkest part of who they were to one another.

It was now clear that their relationship was merely a patchwork of resentment and adoration, each battling it out beneath the cover of obvious affection for one another. In their quest to do the right thing, they’d levied attacks against one other – each unintended but devasting all the same. They were held together by strings of love that were fraying at the edges, threatening to fracture them if they didn’t do something.

But what were they supposed to do? How did they say something they’d never said before? How could they voice feelings they didn’t even admit to themselves? How could they open themselves up when the threat of being pushed away was so high?

Ethan froze, his grip tightening on the steering wheel as his memory returned to his last day at Edenbrook. He moved through each event, remembering where Charlie stood in each of them. She’d stood next to him through his failure, still looking up at him like an untarnished hero. How could he stay and face that? Who would he be if he pretended to be the man she thought he was, and who would he be if he destroyed her idyllic hope in him?

“I shouldn’t have done that…” Ethan whispered, mostly to himself.

“Which part?” Charlie challenged him, tears threatening to spill as she waited for his confession. She didn’t need him to tell her the answer. She already knew what he regretted, but she dared him to confirm that he regretted her, not leaving. Ethan Ramsey’s misplaced remorse lied in allowing her so close that his departure pained her. When the chips fell, Ethan resorted to his withdrawal instincts, and Charlie knew it.

Anger sprouted through her soul, reigniting months of rejection and waiting. Charlotte Greene was always waiting for Ethan Ramsey and always hoping that he wouldn’t push her away this time. She maintained a naïve assumption that, eventually, he would pull her close instead of casting her out. At what point did she accept defeat?

Now, she felt foolish as she stared down the barrel of last hope. Her day with Ethan Ramsey was beautiful and fostered desire she’d long abandoned that this man could allow himself to love her, but as the sun set on the river, the darkness highlighted the toxic traits that separated them. How stupid had she been to expect him to change all his rules for her? How many interns before her had deluded themselves into thinking they were special?

Ethan’s deep sigh was deafening in their newfound silence. He felt like he was driving straight into a hurricane but couldn’t stop his disastrous trajectory. His instincts urged him to do what he should have done months ago and sever their attachment before it came too dangerous. It was one thing for Ethan to suffer at the hands of Cupid, but to watch Charlotte battle a similar affliction was cruel. He could stop it now…

But as Ethan looked at Charlotte, he hesitated. He couldn’t let her go. He couldn’t break it off. It was a delusion to think that this relationship was anything but dangerous. The risk had already been taken. An intense desire to hold on took control of his body. It was as if, in the moment of crisis, his mind finally found what he valued most – and it was Charlie.

He should have said that, but he didn’t.

Instead, he asked, “Do you want to come up for a drink?”

Charlie’s gaze never wavered. Rationally, she knew to tell him, No. She knew to get out of his car and walk out of his life because, if he couldn’t love her now, he never would. She knew that she deserved better, but she couldn’t do it. A flicker of hope burned bright in her chest at his invitation. She knew what he was asking but needed him to say it.

“To your apartment?” she prompted.

“Yes.”

“To talk?” Charlie demanded, desperate for him to be explicit for fuck’s sake.

She needed him to say that he was inviting her to come back and talk, to work through their bullshit. She needed him to say that this was worth fighting for. She needed him to acknowledge their precarious state. She needed him to say that he was trying. Because, if he couldn’t, how could they ever find their way?

“Yes.”

“About what we’re fighting about?” Charlie crossed her arms.

“We’re fighting?” Ethan’s eyes flashed with panic.

“Yes,” Charlie asserted, and dread gripped his heart as he nodded in understanding.

Charlie faltered, trying to think of a million reasons to turn him down, but not one stuck. Because, as she saw a hint of fear in his eyes, all she wanted to do was reach out and take his hand.

“One drink,” Charlie finally consented, and for a moment, Ethan’s tight chest felt relief.

But the fear never subsided. They both sensed the finality that approached, and the weight of their unspoken fights and emotions grew increasingly unbearable. Both knew that, at the end of tonight, their unrecognized, longing existence would cease to exist, but neither could anticipate what would follow. When the world stopped spinning, would time still move?

When Ethan arrived home, he hesitated to take the key out of the ignition, and he considered driving far, far away to stay in this little bubble. He wanted to resurrect the day and live it once more, and he wanted to stay with Charlie for as long as he could. But before he could run away, he removed the key from the ignition and stepped out of the car.

Charlie followed, tenderly rousing Jenner, and the three of them made their way through the underground parking garage toward the waiting elevator. Ethan pressed his floor’s number and leaned back into the elevator walls as if it would slow time. He watched her beside him and witnessed concern etch its lines into her forehead, and without thinking, he reached for her hand.

As his fingers laced through hers, Charlie nearly jumped, and she looked back to Ethan with evident shock. He almost pulled away when he saw her expression, but he stopped when she squeezed his hand in return.

And it was enough.

It was enough to try.

When they entered his apartment, Charlie released Jenner from his leash and watched as he jumped on the couch, eagerly waiting for her to join him for another snuggle session. She smiled softly at him, scratching under his chin and placing a kiss on his forehead, before leaving their potential snuggles to talk to Ethan. And for the first time, Ethan was sincerely jealous of his dog.

Ethan was already reaching for the decanter when Charlie joined him, silently watching as he poured out a glass of scotch.

“Scotch or something else?” Ethan was prepared to list every single drink he had in his arsenal, full of nervous energy, but she stopped him with a nod towards the decanter.

“I need something strong, and that looks delicious.”

As Ethan poured her a glass, he felt an odd sting of pride. His girl knew a good drink. His girl… Ethan chastised himself for using that word. He didn’t get to call her “his.”

They both took a sip and allowed the warmth to linger in their chest before speaking again, waiting for the liquid courage to set in.

Unsurprisingly, it was Charlie who made the first move towards the awkward discussion.

“I said one drink,” Charlie eyed her drink, “By the way that tastes, I’d assume we don’t have much time before that glass empty, so we better start talking.”

Ethan paused, considering all of the strategies he could take. His fear of losing her paralyzed him, but his fear of hurting her spurred him to scrutinize everything. He’d never been in this place before, and his frame of reference was limited. How did one act in such a situation?

“You didn’t tell me about the ethics investigation,” Ethan blurted out, amazed by how much it hurt him that she’d kept that from him.

“I tried, but you closed the door in my face,” Charlie asserted.

Fuck… Ethan grimaced as he remembered the day. Was that what she was trying to tell him when he’d been such a dick?

“Did you go to someone else?” Ethan didn’t recognize the jealousy in his tone.

“Excuse me?” Charlie flushed, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Did you go to Rafael when I didn’t talk to you?” Ethan persisted, horrified by her potential answer.

“You don’t get to ask a question like that, Ethan,” Charlie shook her head, obviously frustrated, “Don’t act like I haven’t given you far more opportunities than I’ve given Raf.”

“Oh, so you’re giving him opportunities?” Ethan couldn’t understand why he was so upset. He knew that she was right. If he hadn’t been bound by his morality, he could have had Charlie a long time ago, and she had no responsibility to stay loyal to a nonexistent relationship. She was free to do whatever – and whomever – she wanted, but the idea of it killed Ethan.

“Do not pull that bullshit,” Charlie took a large gulp of her scotch, begging it to fuel her, “When we almost had sex in Miami, who is the one who stopped it? It sure as hell wasn’t me.”

“I’m your boss! It’s not ethical!” Ethan retorted.

Charlie rolled her eyes, “Well, I’m already facing an ethics hearing, so clearly, I’m ethically substandard.”

Fuck. That’s not what he meant.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that,” Ethan couldn’t fathom not making that point explicit.

Charlie diverted her gaze, biting on her lower lip as she raked her fingers through her falling ponytail. As her blonde hair fell around her shoulders, Ethan was caught off guard by how vulnerable she seemed. She was just as impassioned and upset as he was, if not more so. She walked away from him, pacing his living room floor and occasionally glancing over at him as if planning her defense.

“I know you didn’t mean that,” Charlie admitted with a deep sigh, “But I don’t know what I know about you. Today, I felt like I really knew you. Today was great,” Charlie closed her eyes as if trying to relive their carefree afternoon, “But then you try to pull away. You don’t let me in. You wouldn’t have brought me in on Naveen’s case if you didn’t trust me, but you never show it. How the fuck am I supposed to be your friend if you can’t tell me anything?”

“I brought you in on a case I failed at, Charlotte,” Ethan gulped at his drink as if the smooth scotch could dull the nagging failure that he carried every day. It was the first time he’d ever said her full first name, and Charlie’s eyes shot to his, amazed by how cold she felt at the title. She just wanted to be his Rookie again, “I told you why I left Edenbrook. I’m not the doctor we both thought I was,” Ethan’s voice cracked, and just like that, the anger dissipated from Charlie’s body as she was overwhelmed with a desire to fix this wonderful, broken man.

“Don’t say that,” Charlie stepped towards him instinctively.

“It’s true,” Ethan drained his scotch, returning the glass to the table as he fell into a nearby armchair, “I failed Naveen. I failed my patients. I’ll fail you soon, too.”

“It’s not true,” Charlie was by his side now, surprised by her own proximity to him, “That’s bullshit. You’re the doctor I thought you were and more. You saved thousands of patients, Ethan. They’re still living their lives because of you.”

“I couldn’t save Delores. I couldn’t save Naveen. I-I…” Ethan’s hand was reaching for the scotch bottle, but Charlie grabbed it before he could, taking his hand in hers.

“You didn’t save them, but you loved them,” Charlie stared deep into his eyes as if begging him to believe her, “You stayed up all night with baby Ethan, and he has a full life because someone loved him. You gave Delores and Naveen a choice, and when they picked their diagnosis over treatment, you respected it. That’s why you’re the best doctor I know. You never stop caring about your patients.”

Charlie paused, tears welling in her eyes as she added, “If I’d been more like you, I wouldn’t be in this mess… If I’d taken no for an answer, I wouldn’t have endangered Mrs. Martinez. She’d be alive, and I wouldn’t be facing a revoked medical license.”

Ethan’s heart broke at the pain in her speech, and before he could stop himself, he told her, “That was the stupidest, most unethical, kind thing you ever did, Rookie.”

Charlie looked up at him, something inside warm at the sound of her nickname.

“You’re a good doctor, Charlotte, and I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to help Mrs. Martinez in the way you did.”

Charlie nodded slowly, mulling over her words before saying, “You told me to examine my mistakes, learn from them, and let go. Instead, I lost one of my best friends and risked my entire career to make a point.” Charlie was laughing at herself, but her chuckle was laced in bitterness.

“You do enjoy the dramatics,” Ethan conceded, earning a playful glare from the woman next to him.

A peaceful lull formed in the storm of their fight, momentarily reminding them of what they were even fighting for in the first place. How did they make everything seem okay again, even when it clearly wasn’t?

“I didn’t know if I would ever be able to move on when you left,” Charlie admitted carefully, “For a cold son of a bitch, you sure as hell make people care about you.”

Ethan laughed his first genuine laugh of the whole night, and a smile perked at her lips despite everything.

“I tried very hard to make you stop caring about me, but you were always stubborn,” Ethan was still smiling to his own disbelief.

“You’re right,” Charlie nodded thoughtfully, “Inviting me to Miami, including me on a secret case, taking me for coffee, going to the opera… All of that definitely pushed me away.” She looked back at him, eyes glaring with amusement and something he could finally put a name to – affection.

Ethan laughed, amazed by how much he enjoyed when she made fun of him, “You forgot introducing you to my dog.”

“Please, Jenner is basically my dog now,” Charlie looked over at the puppy now watching them intently.

A comfortable lull formed in their conversation. It was amazing how easy it seemed to slip away. They both knew they hadn’t resolved everything, and more fights were waiting. But they couldn’t manage to break the comfort they felt in each other, not yet.

Finally, after a long time, Charlie spoke. She hesitated with her words, unsure that she even wanted to ask the question, but after a beat, she forced herself to ask, “Will you testify for me?”

Ethan looked surprised, and before he could answer, Charlie nervously jumped in, “You’re the one doctor I respect most in the world, and if you don’t want to testify for me because I failed you, I understand-“

“Charlie,” Ethan stopped her mid-sentence, and she gazed up at him with those big green eyes that momentarily distracted him, “I tried. Emery won’t let me because I’m too biased, and we both know she’s right.”

Charlie let out a defeated grimace, standing slowly and moving towards the window as she processed the rejection. Beneath her, Boston hummed with electricity and excitement. There was an entire world down there, oblivious to what was happening in Ethan’s apartment. They had no idea that Charlotte Greene’s life was falling apart…

Ethan retrieved both of their glasses, returning to the decanter to refill them, and he tentatively met her at the window, holding out the glass as a peace offering.

“To early retirement,” she smiled sadly, holding the glass in a toast, “Likely for both of us.”

Ethan clinked the glass with a sad nod, and the scotch settled into a familiar burn in their chest.

“You tried without me asking…” Charlie’s whisper surprised Ethan, and he couldn’t miss the small smile dancing on her lips.

“You’re just the latest person I tried to save and failed,” Ethan swallowed, his failure threatening to consume him.

Charlie shook her head, placing a hand on his cheek as she moved his face to look at her, “You never failed me, Ethan.”

She was so, so… close.

He could smell lingering notes of his body wash on her skin, an intoxicating combination of fresh air and freedom. He was close enough that he could watch her chest rise and fall with her breath. Her lips parted as she gazed up at him, her lips still shiny with scotch, and Ethan’s breath hitched as he realized she was… so beautiful… and so close…

Ethan was leaning closer, so close that Charlie felt the heat of his breath on her skin. Her senses were overwhelmed with him… Her grip on her glass loosened, sliding out her hand and splintering into tiny pieces on the hardwood floor, but the sensation was distant.

And then he was against her, their proximity so close that she only had to lean the tiniest bit to brush her lips across his. They were soft and warm and…

And they collided. Months of longing were poured into his touch as his tender, bruising kiss consumed her. He tasted like scotch and coffee and Ethan, and her fingers tangled in his hair as she pulled him closer. He could feel her hammering heart against his chest. His hands were on her, his fingertips digging into her hips as he tugged her as close as he could possibly have her. Any space was too much. He’d never needed anyone like he needed Charlotte Greene at this moment.

Ethan effortlessly lifted Charlie, guiding her to wrap her legs around his waist as he pressed her against the window. The cool glass contrasted the heat between the two of them, and her lips left his to giggle at his eagerness before she was lost in him once more.

His hands were everywhere, her waist, her hips, her ass, her thighs, her chest… It was as if he felt the need to explore and claim every inch of her body, to treasure it with his appreciative touch.

“Ethan,” Charlie moaned softly, her hands leaving his hair to pull at his sweater. Ethan pulled away just long enough for her to take it off, not caring where the garment fell when she threw it over his shoulder, “Mmm, that’s better.”

Ethan’s hands were already on her waist, the fabric of her t-shirt wrinkling beneath his touch. His shirt. Ethan felt a swell of pride as he remembered how sexy it was when she confidently walked out in his t-shirt this morning, and he remained convinced that it was the hottest thing she’d ever worn. The grey cotton began to ride up her body as he moved his hands up her torso, and he victoriously pulled it over her head and threw it on the ground beneath him. Her exposed skin was so warm against his hands, and the lace of her black bra tickled his skin as she pressed herself even closer to him.

Ethan moved back from the window, still holding onto her tight as he led her back to his living room, and he softly placed her on his couch. Slowly untangling her legs from his waist, her fingers fumbled for his belt, and he laughed softly at her attempts to quickly remove it.

Biting on her lower lip, Ethan pulled away from her kiss, enjoying the sweet sound of her moan, and as he gazed down at her, it was undoubtedly the best sight he’d ever seen. His Rookie was desperate for his touch, desperate for him.

His Rookie…

Ethan’s breath stopped as he suddenly remembered why he hadn’t seen this sight since Miami, why he’d left her then… and why he had to leave her now.

Charlotte saw the change in his eyes, and her stomach lurked as panic settled in.

“Ethan…” she whispered, her hands on his cheek as she started to sit up to look at him better. No, no, he couldn’t… Not again, she thought to herself.

“Charlie,” Ethan’s voice was ragged and full of disappointment, and it was a sucker punch to Charlotte, “I can’t…”

Charlie’s eyes closed in a grimace as she fell back to the couch, covering her head with her arm as the sting of rejection replaced the carefree joy she’d felt only moments again. Even now, miles from Edenbrook, he still didn’t want her… Tears prickled at her eyes, but Charlotte willed them away.

Ethan’s hand hovered over her hair, desperately wanting to comfort her, but instead, he removed his touch and stepped away, knowing it would only do more harm than good. He left the couch, returning to his glass of scotch and downing it as he waited with bated breath for her reaction. She was still quiet, collecting all of her thoughts as her emotion wreaked havoc.

What’s wrong with me? Charlie’s thoughts were unstoppable, cutting through every attempt to silence them as they taunted her with rejection and humiliation. Hadn’t she learned to stop hoping for Dr. Ramsey?

Before she knew what she was doing, Charlie grabbed the pillow from behind her head and hurled it at Ethan. The pillow stunned him but bounced off easily, leaving him stunned and confused.

“Fuck you, Ethan Ramsey!” Charlie was up now, looking for her shirt so that she could stop feeling so exposed and vulnerable, but when she saw it on the floor, she was reminded that it was his shirt, not hers. Fuck.

“Excuse me?” Ethan asked incredulously.

“You heard me. Fuck you,” Charlie repeated, the words flowing off her tongue with such ease that Ethan almost forgot that he was the one being cursed.

“Charlie, we can’t,” Ethan began, but Charlie stopped him before he could deliver the same speech.

“Don’t you dare,” Charlie shook her head, the tears trying to return, and she had lost her strength to will them away, “Don’t you dare tell me that you can’t betray your moral code and have sex with your intern. You can’t do this, Ethan. You can’t pull me close just so you can push me away.”

“That’s not what I’m doing!” Ethan was offended at the accusation, “I’m putting you first. I’m putting your career first, Charlotte.”

“No, you’re not! That’s what you’re telling yourself, but that’s not what’s happening!” Charlie jabbed a finger at his still bare chest, “You’re afraid of intimacy, so you’re searching for every possible excuse to keep me at arm’s length. You can’t have it both ways, Ethan,” Charlie paused when she heard her voice crack, trying desperately to sum up the strength to continue her speech, and the sight made Ethan shrink. He’d never seen her so hurt, and he knew he was the cause. “Did you just try to get me naked because you heard I had sex with Bryce? Is it some stupid test to prove your masculinity?”

“No, of course not,” Ethan breathed, desperate to make her believe him, and he instinctively placed his hands on her waist as she wiped at her tears, “You’re more than some toy, Charlie.”

“I know,” Charlie pulled out of his grasp, “You can’t just play with me when you’re bored and drop me when you want to. That’s not fair.”

“I’ve never meant to do that,” Ethan had never been so intent on making someone believe him. She had to know the truth. She had to know that she was more than that, that she was more than everything to him.

“Don’t do this, Ethan. Don’t make it too hard to be around you. Don’t you dare push me away,” Charlie wiped at the tear sliding down her cheek, betrayed by her own emotional response, “You’re not my boss any more. The only thing keeping you away from me is you right now. At least be honest with that.”

I’m not her boss anymore…. The words played over and over again in Ethan’s head, forming a soundtrack to his epiphany. She was right. She was always right.

“Rookie…” Ethan’s whisper was soft and intimate, and even when she was so angry with him, it made her heart skip a beat. He stepped forward, his hands cupping her cheek as he leaned his forehead to hers, meeting her eyes as she felt the comforting warmth of his breath on her skin, “You’re… you’re everything to me.”

Charlie’s lips parted in a surprised gasp, staring up at him as if trying to prove to herself that she’d actually heard him correctly.

And he almost said it… three little words he’d never said before. But instead, he kissed her.

Their tender, bruising kiss held the emotions of months and months of waiting and pain and rejection, and they lost themselves in each other’s touch.

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Ethan was the one to slide her out of her skinny jeans, slowly but surely stripping her down as his hands explored her skin. Once she was down to her underwear and bra, Ethan pulled her back to him, their bodies so close that they practically breathed as one. Her legs wrapped around his waist, tugging on his hair as he carried her back to her bedroom. Close wasn’t close enough for either of them, and Ethan laughed softly into her lips as Charlotte practically squirmed to get as close as possible.

Charlie pulled on his lower lip, whispering, “Let me down…”

Ethan begrudgingly unwrapped her legs from his body, gently putting her down on the floor without daring to break their kiss.

He felt her smirk against his lips as she unzipped his pants, pushing them off and toying with the waistband of his boxers. Ethan’s muscles froze as he felt her hand so, so close… She loved watching the effect she had on him as she tantalizingly slowly took off his boxers, brushing her fingertips along his hardening member before wrapping her hand around him and gently stroking.

“Charlie…” Ethan’s voice was breathless, making Charlie smile in pride.

“Yes?” Charlie raised an eyebrow, licking her lips as if offering an invitation.

Ethan’s hands tangled in her hair, moving her to look directly at him as he earnestly asked, “Are you sure?”

Charlie’s smile warmed his skin as she nodded, “Yes. 100% sure.”

Their lips collided again as Ethan pulled her back to his bed. Once the back of her knees met his mattress, he pushed her softly, and Charlie fell back on the bed, eyes heavy with lust as she looked back up at him, waiting to have him close again.

To her surprise, Ethan didn’t climb on the bed with her, and she pouted as he leaned close, whispering, “Not yet…”

“I’ve been trying to have sex with you for months. Why not yet?” Charlie’s whine was sincere and made Ethan chuckle.

“Patience is a virtue, Dr. Greene, and I want to remember every single moment of this…” Ethan’s lips grazed her collarbone, his hands lifting her just enough to unclasp her black bra. Charlie shrugged out of it, goosebumps forming on her skin as the cold air washed over her. Ethan’s tender, wet kiss moved across her collarbones, pausing on her neck to find just the spot that made Charlie squirm before moving down her chest.

His appraising eye marveled at her body as his hands, which began at her hips, roamed her curves until they reached her breasts. Cupping her breast in one hand, he tenderly massaged her as his tongue caressed the other, teasing until his mouth captured her nipple. Her body bucked in response, and he could feel his own body respond to that perfect, perfect moan…

“Ethan…” Charlie was growing impatient as her desperation to feel him heightened.

But once more, he whispered, “Patience…”

His mouth began to move lower, appreciating each inch of skin as he navigated her torso. She giggled at the tickle of his stubble, her hands tangling in her hand as she told him, “Your stubble tickles.”

With a rueful smile, Ethan brushed along his chin and responded, “I should shave.”

Charlie’s eyes playfully narrowed as she insisted, “Don’t you fucking dare.”

Ethan didn’t bother to contain his laughter before returning to her body, spreading her thighs as he approached the apex. He lavished his attention on her inner thighs, kissing and nibbling as the woman beneath him writhed in delight.

“Please…” her whisper was hoarse with desire, and finally, Ethan relented.

With his thumbs hooked on either side of her panties, Ethan’s kiss diverted from her thigh, just gently meeting the lace of her underwear. His kiss was long and wet and lazy, and Charlie melted into his mouth. Taking his sweet time, Ethan stripped her off her underwear and placed a long, purposeful lick along her folds. His tongue circled her nub as he appreciated her sweet taste. Charlie’s hips moved with his mouth, her fingers tugging on his hair as she wordlessly begged for friction and pressure. Ethan delivered, his adept finger sliding inside of her, and he watched as she fell apart when his finger curled.

Charlotte moaned her delight, her eyes fluttering closed as she rose to her peak. He could feel it in her body before she said a word – the pink flush to her skin, the friction of her body writhing beneath his tongue, the desperation in her bated breath, the way her muscles tensed around him… Her breath hitched as she approached her climax, and Ethan watches her, catching her gaze as she lost control.

“E-Ethan,” she pleads as she feels it coming, her breath hitching right before…. “Fuck!”

Charlotte shuttered as her orgasm lit her body on fire, each nerve ending consumed in the blissful heat. She hummed as her pleasure settled in her, a lazy smile spreading as she whispered, “Ethan. Fucking. Ramsey…” she bit on her lower lip, his name now forever a chant of indulgence.

“Jonah, actually,” Ethan smirked, moving up to look at her, and she raised her eyebrows in confusion, “My name is Ethan Jonah Ramsey, though I suppose ‘Fucking’ works as well.”

And right then, Charlotte’s laughter is music to his ears, and as she looks up at him, she almost said it… Three words she’s never meant like she meant them now.

But instead, his lips were on hers, full of heat and promise, and she was lost in it – in him.

Their fingers intertwined as Ethan moved over her, effortlessly moving her farther onto the bed as he knelt between her legs.

The sight beneath him took Ethan’s breath away. His beautiful, wonderful Charlotte looked up at him like no one else ever had. She waited with obvious desperation for him for him. She was here for him. She wanted him.

His length ran along her wet slit, probing as he looked at her with a silent question, and she nodded her agreement without an ounce of hesitation. His smile was broad and beautiful as he kissed along her skin, teasing her relentlessly and bringing her so, so close before finally…

“Fuck!” Charlie gasps as, after months of pining and waiting, they finally connected. Ethan sank deeper into her, overwhelmed by how intimately close they felt. Her fingertips brushed along his cheek, smiling softly as she met his lips in a deep, bruising kiss.

Ethan’s pace was slow and careful, each thrust timed to make Charlie think she couldn’t wait any longer and then fall apart the second he delivered her cravings. Her nails dug into his broad shoulders, not caring about any potential marks as her nails dragged along his skin while his pace quickened with desperation.

The pleasure mounted in Charlie’s hips as he delivered each deep, toe-curling thrust. His mouth claimed hers, his tongue fighting for dominance over hers as her body flushed with delight.

“Ethan, I’m so cl…” Charlie didn’t need to articulate further as she lost her breath, overwhelmed with his touch. He carefully adjusted his grip on her thighs, his thumbs leaving bruises along her skin, and he used the new leverage to drive deeper and deeper into him. His lips were selfish as he every inch of her body, needing to taste her, to feel her and know that she was his.

Charlie’s skin burned with desire, unable to hold on as she dissolved into her climax. She’s so, so close – she’s – she’s – fuck. Charlie fell apart beneath Ethan, her orgasm taking over her body.

Ethan watched through hooded eyes, feeling her tighten around him, and it was too much. “Charlie,” he moaned her name as if it were sacred praise, each thrust harder and more desperate than before. At the summit, he lost control, his body sated in the warm ecstasy of his orgasm. His forehead fell to her shoulder as he tried to catch his breath.

For a moment, they just stayed like that, enjoying their bliss, enjoying each other…

Finally, Ethan moved out of Charlotte, pulling him beside her, and without a word, Charlotte tangled herself around him, tucking her head in his chest as she listened to the thump of his heartbeat.

“We just had sex…” Charlie murmured, sounding astounded.

“We did,” Ethan confirmed, twirling her hair around his finger as he appraised the beautiful woman in his arms. How the hell did this happen?

“Oh my God,” Charlotte let out a single chuckle, looking as if she couldn’t believe it either, and he found himself smiling.

Tilting her head up to look at him, Ethan said, “Stay the night.”

Charlotte wasn’t sure if his invitation was a command or a question, but she couldn’t dream of leaving his bed either way.

“Only if you finally give me an embarrassing tee shirt to wear tomorrow,” Charlotte’s eyes were full of amusement as she teased him, and he couldn’t resist the urge to kiss the tip of her nose.

“I may have a secret Turkey Trot t-shirt in the back of my closet,” Ethan finally confessed, but his embarrassment was soon forgotten as he watched Charlie’s face light up with excitement.

“I fucking knew it,” Charlie kissed him in victory, her arms looped around his neck. The kiss was long and lazy, and when they pulled away, Ethan could see the sleep in Charlie’s eyes. Safely tucking her in his arms, he kissed the top of her head. 

He was just about to fall asleep when a small whisper lured him away from slumber.

“Please don’t leave me…” there was fear in Charlie’s voice as if she was waiting for him to run away at any moment, and the sound broke Ethan’s heart.

“I won’t,” he whispered, “I promise.”


	4. In the Morning Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their night together, Ethan Ramsey and Charlie explore their first morning together, and in his apartment this morning, they’re not just an intern and an attending…

The sun dawned on Boston ray by ray, slowly illuminating Ethan Ramsey’s apartment. It began with a stray beam of light breaking through the barriers of the master bedroom’s curtains, the first sign that night had transformed to morning, but soon, the bedroom was enveloped in sunlight and illuminated the two stray souls that had found paradise under the cloak of midnight.

Ethan woke first, unable to ignore the morning light invading his bedroom.

Only a few months ago, the abundant natural light had been his primary attraction to this apartment. With only thin curtains to separate him from the Boston skyline, it was impossible for Ethan to sleep beyond his first alarm, and he lived much of his life under the shroud of twilight. By the time the rest of the world was waking up and making their first cup of coffee, Ethan was already in his office with piles of work to accomplish.

But after leaving Edenbrook, his insufficient defenses were a constant reminder that his life had changed. During his first post-Edenbrook hangover, he’d cursed everything – the sun, the curtains, the window, and himself – but never fixed it. He felt like upgrading his window dressings would be accepting defeat, and Ethan Ramsey was always more than ready to punish himself for perceived misdoings.

This morning, however, as he watched Charlie stir from the overwhelming sunlight, he didn’t feel like it would be a defeat to change his bedroom’s furnishings. Rather, it felt like a step in a new direction. It felt like he was on the cusp of a new world and different priorities. It felt like… making a place for her in his life.

Ethan’s chest constricted at the very thought. He was overwhelmed by how easy it was to welcome her into his life. Despite months of actively opposing her, she’d met the challenge and broken down all of his barriers to claim his heart. He always knew that, when he finally let her in, he could never go back. And now that she was here in his bed, he couldn’t fathom keeping her at arm’s length ever again.

The idea terrified him.

Until Charlie arrived, Ethan had been a god among men. Medicine was a game, and he always won. He tackled insurmountable obstacles like others approached a crossword puzzle. Personal relationships were insignificant in a life that revolved around his patients. Ethan Ramsey made a deal with the devil, winning success and prestige and losing a life outside of Edenbrook’s doors.

And then Charlie happened.

Life brought Ethan Ramsey to his knees, challenging his identity as a curer and rendering him useless to his loved one’s suffering. And she was there. Charlie was always there, even when he didn’t want her to be. She didn’t shy away from his ill temper or steel gaze, and he was acutely aware of how he didn’t deserve her.

Ethan watched Charlotte Greene sleep beside him in silent awe. He could now see the tension she’d carried on her shoulders since Mrs. Martinez’s death, especially the permanent crinkle between her eyebrows he recognized from his own reflection. Deep in slumber, she seemed almost blissful. Her delicate features were so soft now, and Ethan almost felt as if he was witnessing something too pure for his own eyes. He’d never felt the division between Charlie and Dr. Greene so fiercely as he did this morning. Dr. Greene was weighed down with the responsibility of saving lives and protecting patients, but Charlie was the girl who spent hours cuddling with his dog yesterday. It was a strange sensation to acknowledge the contrast between her personal and professional persona while reconciling these differences into one figure – his Rookie.

Charlie stirred as the light attempted to disrupt her peaceful slumber. With eyebrows knit in frustration, she let out a sleepy “humph” as she tried to escape the sun in her half-asleep state, and she inched closer to Ethan, burying her face in his chest to hide from the morning light.

Ethan chuckled, his arms instinctively wrapping around her and gently smoothing her wild curls.

“Why the fuck is it so bright in here?” Charlie’s words were garbled and full of sleep.

“It’s morning,” Ethan whispered in return, and he could feel Charlie’s features twist in distaste against his chest.

“Boo,” she mumbled, hugging him closer as if it could bring back the night.

When Charlie Greene fell asleep in Ethan Ramsey’s arms, she never wanted to wake up. She wanted to live in the precarious state of euphoria when she’d been so close to Ethan. Even with his whispered promise to stay, she was burdened with the expectation that he would do what he always did and pull away from her. They’d crossed a line, and she was afraid to peak at what was on the other side.

“How is anyone supposed to sleep like this?” Charlie whined, earning Ethan’s chuckle. Her grip on the man beside her didn’t dare lessen. She held on to him – and their night together – like a raft in the middle of the ocean. Charlie knew what happened last night. She knew what they said, what they felt, and what they did. But this morning was a mystery, one that had the power to dash all of her hopes.

“If you can’t block the sun, you can’t ignore the alarm clock,” Ethan repeated his former philosophy for his former student and wondered if he would have taught her that if their relationship had not always hung on the balance of professional and passionate. When he campaigned for Charlie to join Edenbrook’s residency, he recognized a potential in her that he could mold into excellence. Would he have been able to reform her lifestyle to emulate his, or was she always destined to change him?

Charlie carefully pulled away from his warm, muscular chest just enough to look up at him and cock an eyebrow.

“You designed your bedroom to make sure you’d make it to work early?” Charlie repeated, trying her best not to smile.

“I’m not sure I would phrase it like that, but I suppose I did,” Ethan confirmed, amused by her apparent interest.

Charlie bit on her lower lip, trying hard to hold it in before the chuckle finally escaped, “That might be the most Ethan Ramsey thing I’ve ever heard.’

“There are ‘Ethan Ramsey things’ you’ve heard?” Ethan challenged her, pushing her hair behind her ear so he could see her sassy smile better. Without her saying a word, he already knew that she was about to be a smartass, and he found himself looking forward to it.

“Mmmhmm,” Charlie hummed.

“Like?” Ethan prompted.

“Like yelling at an intern and then buying your favorite patient a candy bar a few minutes later,” Charlie’s eyes sparkled with mischief, “But if you want to hear the things I’ve heard about you, that’s much more interesting.”

“And what have you heard about me?” Ethan took the bait.

“Let’s see…” Charlie pondered aloud, resting her chin on his chest, “On my first day, I was walking through the halls when a resident said, ‘I can’t decide if I should focus on his ass or him being an ass.”

Ethan’s eyes visibly widened, though he attempted to maintain an air of disinterest, and it made Charlie laugh.

“There’s one about your dick, I think…” Charlie teased him and quickly found the outrage she was hoping for.

“That’s completely –“ Ethan was prepared to talk about how unethical and inappropriate such talk would be in the workplace, but Charlie cut him off with a kiss.

“A joke,” Charlie finished for him, whispering against her lips before adding, “Though someone did call you the world’s only living heart donor…”

Ethan narrowed his eyes at the woman in his bed, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her flush to him, “You found that funny?” his breath was hot against her skin, his stubble so close that it threatened to scratch her skin. Charlie swallowed, suddenly overwhelmed by how close she held this man.

“Maybe it’s too young for you,” Charlie dared, and she swallowed hard when she found the heat in his gaze. She hadn’t given him the nickname of “Dr. McSexy” lightly, but holy shit, she never imagined how hot Dr. Ramsey could be.

Ethan raised an eyebrow, “Are you calling me old, Charlotte?”

She’d never imagined that anyone could make her own name sound that indecent.

“If I was, what would you do about it?” Charlie’s words were breathless now, obviously affected by him. She didn’t just want to know what he would do. She needed to feel it, to feel him.

“I’d tell you that’s not a nice thing to say, and I might have to show you why…” Ethan’s voice was so close to her as his hand released her waist and snaked up her back, his strong fingers tangling in her hair to hold her head steady as she looked back at him. Ethan felt intoxicated by the glint in her eyes and the obvious need in her heated stare.

Right then, he knew he’d been right all along. The second he let Charlotte in, he could never let her go.

“Are you offering to punish me, Dr. Ramsey?” Charlie’s eyes lingered on his lips, and he smirked softly.

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Ethan’s lips were closer and closer and finally so close that Charlie couldn’t think of anything but their proximity. Her arms looped around his neck, running her fingers through his bedhead. She could still smell the faint memory of his cologne, and heat pooled in her core as she spotted the tiny bruise on his neck – her mark.

Ethan tilted his head, his lips brushing across her neck. His stubble deliciously scratched at her skin, and she instantly craned her neck to give him more access. His kisses were soft and careful, just enough that she wanted more, but in fairness, Charlie always wanted more of him.

His hands, however, had the freedom to explore every inch of her body. Goosebumps followed his tender touch. His hand roamed her back, working their way to her breasts and then down the planes of her stomach. When he found the apex of her thighs, his touch became lighter and more purposeful, and Charlie squirmed with desire as she moved her hips closer to his hand.

“Impatient, are we?” Ethan chuckled into her neck, watching as her body flushed with the internal heat spreading through her limbs.

“For you, always,” Charlie admitted.

“Last night, I told you that patience is a virtue,” Ethan reminded her as he gently rolled her on her back. Propping himself up on his elbows, Ethan’s fingertips grazed her navel and then lower and lower and just so close. Charlie swallowed as he gently pushed her thighs apart, and she insisted she could feel the experience in his strong hands.

“I guess you’ll have to remind me,” Charlie whimpered, biting on her lower lip as her cravings mounted.

Ethan swore he felt a physical reaction to her invitation, suddenly so lost in this woman that he didn’t care if they ever left this bed at all. Still, that didn’t mean he stopped teasing her. He took his sweet time to reach her core before his thumb finally grazed the sweet spot. She gasped at the sensation, already sensitized to the feeling of being with him.

Watching her react to his touch was enough to give any man an ego, and Ethan enjoyed the control he had over her. She nearly fell apart when he finally gave her what she wanted, circling the sensitive nub. He watched as she fell apart at his touch, her lips parted and eyes fluttering closed as she squirmed in delight.

And then Charlie looked up at him, eyes clouded by lust and something warm yet unfamiliar. The smile that spread across her lips was brighter than the sun as she slung an arm around his neck, pulling him to her kiss.

Ethan extended his index finger, slowly sliding it inside her, and her delicious little gasp against his lips made him groan. Ethan did everything he could to earn her little noises as he curled his finger, and the momentary pain of her fingernails digging into his shoulder settled into pleasure.

“Mmm, Ethan, please,” Charlie whimpered, “I need you.”

And Ethan never thought of turning her down.

“Is that a command?” Ethan whispered, gently biting on her lower lip as he moved his hand away from her.

“Yes,” Charlie affirmed, licking her taste off his finger, and his expression morphed into that of shameless awe.

Ethan’s unapologetic grip on her hips made her skin burn with desire as he placed her exactly where he wanted her. Moving between her, he kissed along her neck as his length slowly filled her. Charlie’s body seemed to melt into his at the sensation, murmuring something along the lines of “oh fuck” as the pleasure settled over her. She was delirious with the feeling and clung onto him with desire.

Charlie was love drunk, and she enjoyed every moment.

Ethan was lost in this woman as he moved against her, and he was determined to claim her in every way. His lips were on her body – on her neck, on her chest, on her lips. He was everywhere, and his overwhelming presence comforted Charlie beneath him. One hand on his cheek, she held their kiss and smiled at the feeling of his stubble on her skin, silently praying he would never shave. With each thrust, heat and desire pooled in their cores, and they savored every second.

Charlie’s spine arched as she pleasure surged desperate to be closer to Ethan.

“Ethan…” On her lips, his name was a whisper, praise, and warning. She was so close that all she could think about was him, was this, was… them – and how much she never wanted to leave this moment.

Her body tightened around his, her fingers tugging on his hair as she neared the edge, and Ethan buried himself in her touch as his pace increased.

And then it was just too much. They burned too bright, too fast, too perfect. Charlie tried so hard to hold on and stay in the moment, but she fell into her climax, submerged in satisfaction and pleasure. Ethan fell over with her, savoring all her little sounds of delight. 

And for a minute, they stayed together as the all-consuming orgasms subsided. Charlie’s tug on Ethan’s hair went limp as she slowly pushed his hair out of his face, gazing up at him with that same unfamiliar look he couldn’t identify, but somehow, he knew his expression mirrored his. Instead of letting her go, Ethan’s arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer as he fell back to the bed.

“Still want to call me old?” Ethan’s laugh was hoarse with the effort he’d just given, much to Charlie’s amusement.

“If that’s what happens, I’ll never stop calling you old,” Charlie laughed, nuzzling into his chest as he lazily drew patterns into her skin with his fingertips.

How could Ethan not kiss her after that?

In fact, Ethan’s list of scenarios worth kissing Charlie over had grown exponentially overnight, and it was increasingly difficult to think of when he shouldn’t hold her close. He felt like an addict to her affection, and he wondered if he’d even recognize the man in the mirror.

If this was infatuation, no wonder everyone had been so confused about Ethan’s solitary lifestyle, but Ethan doubted that anyone other than Charlie could ever make him feel this way.

Neither of them were sure how long they stayed in bed, just whispering pillow talk and enjoying each other’s proximity, but eventually, they decided to leave the sanctuary of Ethan’s bed.

It was Charlie’s second time in Ethan’s shower in the last twenty-four hours but the first time actually sharing it with him. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t imagined a scenario like this when she last showered here, but she never expected she’d actually experience it.

Still high with their post-orgasmic bliss, they took their time in Ethan’s walk-in shower, testing out the temperature as they shared the hot water. It was almost strange how close they felt. Even being a few steps away felt foreign, and they elected to avoid it as much as possible. As they washed each other, they admired their handiwork with the various bruises and scratches on each other’s body.

Charlie’s fingertips ran along the scratches on Ethan’s back, somewhat embarrassed by how emphatic she’d been, “Does that hurt?”

Ethan raised an eyebrow, casting a casual glance at his shoulder as he shook his head, “I’ll survive a scratch, Rookie.”

Charlie threw a relaxed glare his way and kissed his shoulder as if apologizing to the scratches.

“I enjoyed everything you did last night,” Ethan turned to face her, the water running down his body, and for a moment, Charlie couldn’t help but stare.

“Even throwing a pillow at you and telling you to go fuck yourself?” Charlie couldn’t help but tease him, teetering on the edge of embarrassment for her outburst last night.

She’d meant every single word she said, and given the opportunity, she’d say them again. She cared for Ethan but felt caught in the trap of being his plaything at times, something for him to pull close and then throw away when his morality told him to. She feared his intimacy and commitment issues, and she doubted either of those would magically disappear because they’d had a heart-to-heart and had sex. But there was a reason she needed liquid courage to say all that she did. Under his gaze, she wasn’t just naked. She was vulnerable. She’d put everything out there, reserving only three words, and was at his mercy.

“You were right,” Ethan conceded. He wanted to make her believe him and show everything he felt, but a barrier remained. The words refused to leave his mouth, so he kissed her forehead instead, “I was being an asshole.”

Charlie smiled softly, leaning into him as she murmured, “When are you not an asshole?”

If anyone else had said that, he would have been irate, but it wasn’t just anybody – it was Charlie.

And for her, he laughed.

That morning, Charlie finally got her hands on the embarrassing t-shirt she’d been dreaming of since the drunk texts that started their weekend. Ethan couldn’t understand her fascination with some branded, absurd t-shirt given to him to publicize a race he’d participated in years ago, but he acknowledged the apparent happiness in her eyes when she shimmied into it.

The words had nearly faded away, but Charlie could still make out the orange scribble of “Turkey Trot 10K 2015” as well as a cartoon turkey dancing on the breast pocket. It was soft from years of washes, despite spending ages forgotten in the back of Ethan’s closet. Had he even remembered its existence, he would have donated it years ago, but as he watched her parading around in it now, he was happy he’d held onto it.

Stifling his smirk, he started to make coffee and watched out of the corner of his eye as Charlie disappeared into his living room. When she returned, Jenner was in her arms, and he arguably looked more enamored than Charlie did.

“So, are you just a fan of ridiculous t-shirts, or do you specifically enjoy cartoon turkeys?” Ethan couldn’t help himself. He had to know why she’d been so eager to sport the holiday shirt, and as he turned back to look at her and wait for his response, he was surprised to find that, even in something as comical as a “Turkey Trot” t-shirt, she was still so beautiful.

Charlie laughed, rubbing behind Jenner’s ears as she considered the question.

It wasn’t that it was just a ridiculous shirt. It was his shirt. It was a part of him that few had ever seen before. It was an element of his life beyond Edenbrook. It helped form the fabric of the man that existed outside of his career. It was so uniquely Ethan and so different from “Dr. Ramsey.”

She wasn’t just enamored with an amusing shirt. She was enamored with him.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, laughing softly to herself, “it’s just…”

She almost finished with, You.

But instead, she played it nonchalant, “I find them funny.”

Ethan knew there was something behind that casual smile, and he almost pressed her. But then the coffee was finished brewing, and he decided to let her hold onto her secret.

The warm, familiar smell of coffee brought a smile to Charlie’s lips as he offered her a mug. Unsurprisingly, it was one of the best cups of coffee she’d ever had, and it put the murky dishwater from Edenbrook to shame. They were talking about something unmemorable, but Ethan could never forget the way she laughed when he said something funny. It was true bliss, and as their cups drained and the clock continued to tick, it was slipping from their fingers.

Charlie wanted to hide away in this innocent Eden for the rest of her life. Free of external pressure, they existed in their true forms here. They were two people standing at the beginning of something real and exciting, and they were left alone to their skipped heartbeats and tender touches. She wasn’t just an intern, and he wasn’t just an attending.

As their professional lives went to hell, they’d found a new heaven with each other.

But their night had ended, and Charlie had to leave.

Ethan helped Charlie look for her jeans, smirking when he found them crumbled in the corner of his bedroom. They found her shoes in his living room, and her bra had fallen under his bed along with her underwear. Her shirt had been washed since she arrived at his apartment two nights before, drunk and put to bed in his guest room, but she continued to wear his t-shirt instead. Ethan had charged her cellphone for her, and she found dozens of texts from her friends, wondering where the hell she was after she’d sent them a vague text the day before assuring them that she was fine and staying with a friend for a while. While she was still scrolling through their group chat, Sienna sent a reminder about their roommate brunch, and Charlie’s heart sunk with the realization that her departure from Ethan’s apartment was sooner than expected.

“I’ll walk you home,” Ethan told Charlie as he collected Jenner’s leash, trying to hide his sincere gesture under the guise of taking his dog for a walk. In truth, he just didn’t want to let her go yet…

Charlie raised an eyebrow at his statement because that’s what it was – it was a statement, not an offer. He was walking her home.

“You don’t have to,” Charlie smiled, scratching Jenner under his chin as Ethan prepared him for the walk.

“I know,” Ethan answered simply as he collected their keys, and with a kiss on the side of Charlie’s head, he was off.

Boston’s energy had lulled into a peaceful Sunday morning. Couples and families milled through the streets, passing them in favor of nearby farmers markets and parks, and a soft breeze carried them through the sunny day. Charlie and Ethan, both being workaholics, lived close to Edenbrook and therefore each other. It was a pleasant walk that was far too short for either of their liking.

“Are you doing anything tonight?” Charlie asked tentatively, biting on her inner cheek as she turned her eyes to Ethan. Despite everything, she was still terrified that she’d somehow misinterpreted their closeness and everything that had happened in the last two days, and she held her breath as she anticipated another rejection from Ethan Ramsey.

“Charlie…” Ethan squeezed her hand, which had somehow found its way to his in their walk, “You should be preparing for your hearing.”

The ethics hearing.

She hadn’t allowed herself to think about it in so long that hearing it come out of Ethan’s mouth felt like a slap to the face. Her entire future held in the balance of a rigged hearing, and she was doomed to anticipate it, teetering between naïve hope and realistic fears.

“I don’t know how much I can prepare when Nolan’s already bought half the panel,” Charlie muttered to herself.

“Rookie,” Ethan stopped suddenly, his hand pulling Charlie back to him. As much as she tried to avoid his bright blue eyes, he made her look at him and cupped her cheek in his hand as he told her, “You did what you did for the good of a patient. No matter what happens, you’re a good doctor, and you owe it to yourself and your patients to give it your all.”

Charlie nodded, wiping a tear from her cheek as she absorbed his words, “You’re right.”

“I’m always right,” Ethan’s smile was so infectious that, through her pain, Charlie still laughed.

“Sure,” Charlie rolled her eyes.

“I wrote the textbook you studied,” Ethan bragged, making Charlie laugh even harder as she began to walk again.

“Wow, a genius who still maintains humility. How impressive,” Charlie impishly mocked him.

“My humility is exceptional,” Ethan played along, knowing he’d do just about anything to make her laugh.

When they reached Charlie’s building, they knew they’d reached the end of the road, but Charlie was still smiling so bright at him.

“To clarify, I’m definitely coming over tonight though, right?” she smirked.

He should have told her to stay home and prepare, but who was he to say no?

“Definitely,” Ethan agreed.

Charlie leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her lips before parting ways. As she reached the front door to her building, she waved, “Goodbye, Dr. Ramsey.”

“Goodbye, Rookie.”


	5. Brunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After her time with Dr. Ramsey, Charlie goes home to find her best friends, and the only thing sweeter than brunch is wholesome, supportive friendship.

Charlotte Greene was wearing Ethan’s shirt. She smelled conspicuously like the warm, intoxicating cologne he wore every day. She was marred with his mark. She smiled the smile she reserved for only him. She was distinctly his.

And when she walked into her apartment, everyone knew it.

Charlie didn’t even close the front door behind her before her friends noticed the obvious change in her. She was a very different woman from the one they’d seen before her weekend with Dr. Ramsey. The woman they saw on Friday night was on the heels of devastation and in search of a distraction as her life seemingly fell apart, and they resisted the urge to shield their eyes as she sank lower and lower into despair.

When she disappeared on Friday night, they’d been terrified for her wellbeing and were only marginally comforted by her “I’m fine” text on Saturday morning – though much of that comfort dissipated when she refused to explain her absence over the course of the weekend. At one point, Jackie suggested they go on a manhunt through Boston and force her to face her problems, but Sienna and Elijah insisted on a gentler approach.

And now, she was home (perfectly safe and unharmed – Sienna was already visually examining her for any signs of injury or disease), and she had a lot of questions to answer.

Charlie jumped when she looked over to her dining room, finding all of her friends crowded around their dining room with an overwhelming amount of food and mimosas nearly falling off the limited space. And they were staring at her. Every. Single. One.

Swallowing, Charlie let out a weak wave and put her keys on the hook in an attempt to seem casual, “Oh, hey, guys.”

“Hey, guys?” Jackie was the first to pounce, hands already on her hips as she incredulously repeated the greeting, “Where the fuck have you been, Charlie?”

“With a friend,” Charlie shrugged as if the meaningless gesture could ever shake Jackie’s questions off. They’d been friends long enough for her to know better.

“You’re certainly dressed like you were with a ‘friend,’” Bryce snorted, his eyes lit up with mischief and amusement as he helped himself to the alcohol. He’d been on Jackie’s side during the discussion of a manhunt. In the last year, he’d adopted Charlie as a little sister, and the idea of something happening to her had stayed with him through most of the weekend. But now, there was something he hadn’t anticipated – that she would lie to him. He’d seen enough girls leave his apartment on a Sunday morning to know what to expect, and under the smile on his face, he was hurt she wouldn’t tell him.

“I had to borrow some clothes,” Charlie crossed her arms across the t-shirt, hiding the cartoon turkey she’d obsessed over a few hours earlier, “I don’t know what you’re implying, Bryce.”

Bryce cocked an eyebrow as if silently daring her to admit what he already knew. Despite his hurt and concern for his dear friend, there was a part of him that was enjoying himself. Firstly, it wasn’t often that he got to tease someone else for their sexual exploits, and now that he knew she was fine, he intended to enjoy putting her on the spot.

Jackie opened her mouth, ready to tell her friend just how worried they were and how irresponsible she’d been, but sensing a fight, Sienna stepped in.

“You weren’t answering your texts on Friday night, Charlie, and we were so worried,” Sienna’s voice was so soft that, for a moment, Charlie dropped her guard and suddenly felt guilty for having it up in the first place, “And then you were hardly answering us on Saturday and didn’t come home. We love you, Charlie, and we didn’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

Guilt began to fill Charlie’s limps, turning them to lead as her face flushed with shame. In all of her self-pity and risky behavior, she hadn’t really thought about how her friends would feel. She could see them now, face twisted with concern as she evaded their questions.

Add being a shit friend to the list of bad things I’ve done this year, Charlie thought to herself.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to make you worry,” Charlie admitted, “I just needed space after Landry-“

“You mean the lying piece of shit we no longer acknowledge,” Jackie corrected.

“No, the snake who shall not be named,” Elijah chimed in.

“Ah, the fucker we kill on sight,” Bryce added in for good measure.

“The one who looks like burnt ramen noodles?” Kyra was happy to chime in as she raised her mimosa in a toast to the tirade of insults.

Charlie nodded, trying to hide the laugh building in her throat through the motion, “That’s the one.”

“Charlie, we would have been there for you,” Sienna stepped towards her friend, squeezing a hand as she added, “I hate to think of you dealing with that on your own.”

The weekend flashed through Charlie’s mind – waking up in Ethan’s apartment, going to the river to see Naveen, fighting with Ethan, and waking up in his bed…

And without even a flash of hesitation, she said, “I wasn’t alone.”

“Does that mean she got laid?” Kyra’s whisper was aimed at Bryce but reached the whole room, earning Charlie’s glare as Bryce nodded his answer.

“100% got laid,” Bryce confirmed in the same stage whisper.

“Guys,” Charlie tried to stop them, but it was no use.

“Charlotte Greene, don’t be ashamed of sex. It’s perfectly natural, and an open conversation encourages a healthy dialogue that is the key to successful relationships,” Bryce leaned on his elbows, his wicked smirk reminding her of the last time he talked to her about her sex life.

“Yeah, we openly communicated when you had sex with Bryce!” Elijah pointed to Bryce, who shamelessly shrugged.

“We did?” Charlie asked, amazed by how extensively her friends had discussed her sex life. She was close to them, of course, and frequently filled them in on the details of her life – but she’d never really wondered how much they talked about it when she was away.

When she had sex with Bryce at their housewarming party, the group dynamic was still young and potentially fragile. Charlie still remembered when they all sat down to breakfast, nursing hangovers and awkwardly staring at Bryce with the silent question of “what the fuck is he doing here?” Terrified to keep secrets from her new friends but dreading any awkwardness, Charlie prepared precisely what she was going to say to her friends, but to her amazement, there was no need for an organized speech. If anything, the new drama to the group dynamic made them better friends.

A few weeks later, the steamy affair came to a natural end. Their strong friendship didn’t equate to a strong romance, and ultimately, the sex wasn’t worth risking their friendship over. Bryce loved Charlie, and she loved him, too – but a few weeks together taught them that platonic love can be just as powerful.

Maybe it could have worked if they’d tried. Maybe it was poised to be a grand love story, but there was always a blue-eyed ghost with a grip on Charlie’s heart that destroyed the relationship before it could start. Every time they got drunk and wallowed in their regrets, Bryce and Charlie didn’t think of each other.

It was arguably the least dramatic thing to happen during their intern year.

The night that they had their official “talk” to end things, they’d been huddled on his living room floor, sharing takeout and flipping through Netflix options. After they dissolved their relationship, they fought over the last eggroll and settled on Jurassic Park. It was as if their friendship had somehow come out unscathed.

And the group dynamic magically did the same. If anything, there was a new joke to throw around.

“You had sex with Bryce?” Kyra chimed in, “When the hell did that happen?”

“A few months ago, keep up,” Bryce shook his head as if disappointed that she hadn’t studied their drama before attending brunch.

“So, are we waging bets on who she had sex with? Because my money’s on Rafael,” Kyra suggested, to which Bryce scoffed.

“We all know it’s Dr. Ramsey.”

“My bet’s Aurora. They fight too much not to have some repressed sexual energy going on,” Jackie suggested.

“We’re not taking bets on who I had sex with!” Charlie stopped them before clumsily adding, “Not that I even had sex with anyone.”

“Charlie, you’d really lie to my face at brunch?” Bryce shook his head with an obvious distaste for the offense, pouring himself a mimosa, “Absolutely disgusting.”

Charlie lifted the glass from his grasp, bringing it to her lips as Bryce’s jaw dropped in pure shock. Several things were sacred to Bryce – himself (obviously), his crocs, and his brunch. And to be honest, Charlie felt a sense of victory as she drank his mimosa. It served him right for gossiping about her night.

“How about we have brunch without talking about sex?” Charlie suggested as she took a seat at the table with her friends, and Sienna raised her glass in concurrence as she sat next to Charlie.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Sienna echoed.

“Boooo,” Kyra pouted as she started to fill her plate with her favorite brunch foods, and still muttering about the new conversation rules, their friends followed suit.

After a few awkward moments of fumbling around for a new topic, the group found one. Elijah and Jackie were debating the merits of Sci-Fi movies – pro and anti, respectively – while Bryce took it upon himself to fill Kyra in with the juicy gossip she’d missed. Everyone was dancing around the elephant in the room – Charlie’s ethics trial. The closest that anyone got was when Bryce explained Landry’s betrayal to Kyra, but other than a few jabs thrown in from various friends, it passed by without too much debate.

Something about their silence felt wrong to Charlie. How could they not talk about it? How could Charlie walk into a career-shattering, life-altering hearing without even talking about it with her friends?

There were so many secrets and untouched topics within their group, and it all centered on Charlie. Their entire friendship with Landry was severed because he betrayed her, and once he declared his intention to move out, they were also left to shoulder the higher rent or take on the burden of finding a new roommate. Even if they weren’t on trial, they were implicated in a scandal that would likely destroy Charlie’s career because she’d been hellbent on giving her patient the options she deserved. And now she was lying to them about where she’d been and who she was with.

Facing the destruction of her life goals and years of hard work was hard enough that Charlie felt a knot in her stomach at the idea of minting the bubble they’d built around her. Several times, Charlie thought about bringing it up herself, and she almost brought the words to her lips. But every time, she fell short. As much as she wanted to live in the real world and openly face the truth with her friends, she couldn’t face it. She needed the cushion of an idyllic, safe brunch. The real world could come later…

“We’re really happy that you’re here,” Sienna looped her arm through Charlie’s as Charlie took a bite of Sienna’s famous cinnamon rolls, and Charlie leaned into her friend’s touch. As she did, Sienna was close enough to whisper, “I know the truth, by the way.”

The words were so soft that they almost faded into the chatter and clinking of glasses, but despite their impermanence, they were powerful enough to turn Charlie’s blood to ice. Swallowing, Charlie mirrored Sienna’s soft voice as she repeated, “The truth?”

“About your weekend,” Sienna was practically beaming as she spread jam across her toast, looking up to explain, “Dr. Ramsey found all the concerned messages I left on your phone on Friday night. He didn’t want me to worry about your safety, so he called to make sure that I knew that you were alright and spending the night at his apartment.”

“Ethan called you to let you know I was alright?” Charlie felt like a broken record as she repeated her friend’s words once more, but she craved the confirmation. Her sweet, wonderful Ethan…

“You call him Ethan now,” Sienna noted with a sly smile. She looked as if she’d stumbled upon an epic romance, her gaze full of hopeful excrement and adoring warmth, and it was infectious enough to touch all the hopes Charlie purposefully neglected. Her relationship with Ethan was still so fragile that Charlie feared weighing it down with expectations, but as her chest inflated with affection, she couldn’t help herself.

And right then, more than ever before, she wanted to tell the truth. She wanted to shed the lies she’d inherited at Edenbrook and share her swelling heart with the people she loved the most. But even when Ethan wasn’t Dr. Ramsey anymore, she sensed an unspoken barrier between the world they’d made in his bedroom and the one she now inhabited with her friends.

“He doesn’t work for Edenbrook anymore,’ Charlie’s pathetic deflection didn’t fool Sienna, and she knew it, “I don’t have to call him Dr. Ramsey.”

Sienna nodded her head to play along, but the joyous glint in her eyes gave her away as she imparted advice on her friend, “You know, I’ve always found titles overrated. What does it matter if you’re an intern and he’s an attending? It’s just a job, and times like this remind us that we’re all just people every day,” Sienna motioned towards the friends crowding their dining room in support of Charlie, “Look at us. A year ago, we didn’t even know each other. We were just residents who happened to be assigned to the same hospital, and now, I love you all like you’re my family.”

Sienna hadn’t realized that the room had grown silent to listen to the end of her speech. All other conversation fell to the side, and all eyes lingered on Sienna. It was only when she finished that she noted the warm smiles from her friends.

“That. Was. Beautiful.” Bryce looked like seeing such purity was a sucker punch to the gut, his eyes brimming with tears of affection, and he stood from his seat to pull her into a surprise hug.

“Oh!” Sienna gasped, patting him on his back as Bryce tightened his grip in his signature bear hug.

“Fuck it. We love you, too, Sienna,” Jackie dropped her croissant and joined Bryce in the hug.

“It’s a group hug!” Bryce’s voice was full of excitement as Jackie piled on to their hug.

“This is literally the purest thing I’ve ever seen,” Kyra snapped a photo with her phone before joining the hug.

Charlie watched as Bryce welcomed everyone into the fold, earning giggles and jokes as her best friends joined together. Charlie couldn’t stop the happy laughter that escaped her throat, not that she even wanted to. Her heart threatened to burst out of her chest at the sight of loving friendship, and she didn’t hesitate as she added, “I love you all so much.”

“Stop it, you guys, I’m gonna cry!” Sienna called out, now buried in her friend’s affection.

“What are you talking about? I’m already crying!” Elijah called out, earning laughter from the room.

Charlie was enveloped in her friend’s embrace, reserving no personal space to contain her thoughts, and she couldn’t escape the emotions she’d buried since Mrs. Martinez’s death. She’d spent so long trying to be strong that she’d neglected the network of people who loved her more than anything.

And abandoning her reserves and embracing their trust, Charlie began, “No matter what happens tomorrow, you guys have given me an incredible intern year, and I’ll always love all of you. And-“ Charlie choked back a sob, “I’m so sorry that I let you down and involved you in such a stupid, dangerous decision. I just wanted to give Mrs. Martinez the care she deserved, and I didn’t exercise enough caution-“

“Oh, fuck off with that nonsense,” Jackie interrupted her, pulling out of the hug just enough to put her hands on Charlie’s shoulders, “You never made us do anything. We were perfectly aware of the decision we were making, and I think I speak for everyone when I say we’d do it again.”

“Of course, I would, Charlie!” Sienna interjected.

“I would, too,” Bryce confirmed, his hand now on hers as he squeezed her hand with the same brotherly affection she could always count on him for.

“You did the right thing, Charlie. You always have,” Kyra reinforced, “You taught me to keep fighting, and you’re crazy if you think I’ll let you give up now.”

“We love you, Charlie. Sienna was right – we’re a family,” Elijah’s smile warmed Charlie’s heart, and as she looked around the room, she found it echoed in the faces of her best friends.

“I don’t deserve you guys,” Charlie shook her head as if still trying to process why this amazing group of people had decided to stand with her.

“Are you kidding?” Jackie shook her head as if disappointed with Charlie being so naïve, “You’re the glue that brought this ragtag family together in the first place. You’re the reason we’re here, and you deserve every bit of our support. Stop letting this ethics hearing make you doubt yourself. You’re a fucking badass, Charlie, and it’s time to start acting like one.”

“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Charlie laughed through her tears as she unsuccessfully tried to wipe them away. The difference in her was immediately visible. Their support built her up a way nothing else could, and the sight weighed Jackie down as she thought about the strain between them for the last few months.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t always supported you. I should have. Friends first – competition second.”

“It’s okay,” Charlie squeezed her friend’s hand, “I’m sorry, too. You’re one of my best friends, and I don’t want to fight anymore.”

Jackie was amazed by how readily Charlie forgave her and was struck with how undeserving she felt, and as if sensing her thoughts, Sienna enveloped her in a hug.

“We love you, too, Jackie.”

“Even if you scare us,” Bryce conceded.

“Is anyone going to talk about how Jackie put competition second? That’s a breakthrough!” Elijah couldn’t contain his surprise to everyone’s amusement.

“Are all your brunches this supportive? Because, if so, I’m coming to every single one from now on,” Kyra wiped at her eyes, trying not to show that she was just about to cry with the rest of them.

“You’re always invited,” Charlie insisted, holding out her hand for Kyra, but to her surprise, she was enveloped in a bear hug instead.

Bryce took a step back, wiping at his eyes as he announced, “This shit’s too cute. I need champagne for this. This is the best brunch I’ve ever been to, and we all know I don’t say that lightly.”

“Come on, let’s go find you some champagne,” Sienna started to lead a blubbering Bryce to the kitchen to find the perfect – and only – bottle of sparkling wine left in their fridge to toast their brunch to.

And it was right then that Charlie suddenly knew she had to tell them.

“Guys,” Charlie called out before she could stop herself. Everyone had already started to move back to their seats, wiping at their eyes and murmuring about how sappy they felt, but they all stopped to look at her, unsure what else she could have to say.

You can do this, Charlie thought to herself.

Taking a deep breath, Charlie pulled off the Band-Aid, “I had sex with Dr. Ramsey.”

“WHAT?” Elijah choked on his coffee.

“I fucking knew it!” Bryce air pumped his fist in victory, looking as if he regretted not taking bets, “Charlotte Greene, I am so proud of you. Why the hell didn’t you tell me earlier? We would have celebrated!”

“Yeah, Charlie, why didn’t you tell us?” Sienna’s question was genuine, even if she’d known the answer all along.

“I don’t know,” Charlie admitted, shaking her head as she tried to work through the jumbled thoughts, “I was scared. I’m so scared, you guys,” her voice cracked, “I just don’t want to put too much pressure on it, and I didn’t want you to think that I’d been fucking my boss for a better ranking. I promise, it just happened. I drunk texted him on Friday, and he picked me up. And then he invited me to see Dr. Banjeri, and then I spent the night and we…” Charlie trailed off, surprised by the incoherent story flowing from her mouth.

“Charlie, we’d never think that about you,” Sienna stepped forward, pulling Charlie into another tight hug.

“Even I’m the first to admit that you worked your ass off,” Jackie admitted, “You should have told us. We would have made fun of you for hours!” Jackie’s smirk mad Charlie laugh despite herself.

“Can we go back to the fact you drunk texted him? Does he even know how to text?” Elijah asked, his eyebrow raised, “Wait, does this mean we’re friends with him? Holy shit, I should invite him to my movie marathons.”

“No, no, we’re… I don’t know what I’m with him, let alone you guys. We had sex once – well, twice, but –“

“Twice? That’s my girl,” Bryce interjected, earning a glare from Charlie.

“I could be Dr. Ramsey’s new best friends. Guys, what if he likes science fiction movies?” Elijah was now going off on his own tangent, and it was best to let him fall down the rabbit holes on his own.

“Okay, guys, pause on everything. We need champagne for this!” Bryce insisted, practically sprinting to the kitchen to retrieve the bottle.

The room had practically dissolved in chaos. Elijah was discussing movies and planning marathons and toying with the idea of Dr. Ramsey joining him. Kyra and Bryce were so overwhelmed with pride that they couldn’t focus on much else, disagreeing on how to best toast to their friend (“no, we should celebrate how brave and unapologetic her life is!” “no, we’re definitely toasting the sex, Kyra.”). Jackie was now overwhelmed with how many opportunities she now had to tease Charlie, and Sienna watched over all like a proud mother hen.

Even if it was overwhelming and even a bit frightening, Charlie loved it. She loved them.

And there was a thought in the back of her mind – just a whisper, really – that left a foreign thought to invade every corner. Maybe – just maybe – those three words belonged to Ethan all along.


	6. The Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While preparing for her ethics trial, Charlie runs into a former friend and stumbles upon a break in Dr. Banerji’s case. As she debates rushing to Naveen and studying for her trial, she knows there’s only one answer…

As the afternoon sun lazily drifted through Charlotte Greene’s windows, it framed the world in a golden daze. The calming of Charlie’s anxiety was more than a lull of a storm, it was a rallying cry. The ethics hearing was her chance to prove something Charlie allowed herself to forget in the whirlwind of scandal and betrayal – she was a _good doctor_. She didn’t join Edenbrook’s staff for prestige and ego. She joined to become a competent doctor and deliver the best care for her patients. Her patients deserved a doctor that would fight for them, and Charlie damn well deserved to fight for herself, too.

It was as if this revelation electrified the world around her. Boston was energized with a new sense of optimism that made Charlie feel like she could take on the world, not just Declan Nash and Big Pharma. The birds chirped with a new sense of approval, and her upcoming fight uphill no longer felt like a death march.

Brunch may have invigorated Charlie, but hours of alcohol and carbs lulled everyone else to sleep. At least four people were asleep back in her apartment, including Elijah, Sienna, and Kyra, as they slept off their food-comas. The fourth was a very drunk Bryce passed out on the sofa after one too many celebratory toasts to Charlie’s weekend escapades. Jackie, the only remaining occupant to resist a nap, relied on her inherent badassery to stay energized to research for Charlie’s ethics hearing.

Armed with copious amounts of caffeine and her trusty library card, Charlie easily crept out of her apartment without waking a soul and even made it to the subway station in time to take the next train. Already cueing up a new Raleigh Carrera album for her study session, Charlie caught a glimpse at the time.

1:02 pm.

Enough time to research at the library and still swing by Ethan’s apartment.

 _Ethan Ramsey_. She’s going to see Ethan Ramsey.

The thought alone was jarring, and the name now formed a complex image in her mind. He was the man who spent a year pushing her away, the mentor who challenged her, and the man whose kiss still marked her skin.

By now, it should have felt real, yet the two nights in his apartment still felt like a world of its own, one where dreams shattered reality. Instinctively, her optimism was limited by a healthy dose of skepticism, but it was becoming increasingly hard to contain. Despite her best efforts, Charlie couldn’t shed the rose-tinted glasses now shading her world in hues of excitement and hope. Charlie was dangerously close to falling over the edge into something she’d always considered an abyss, but now at the edge, it seemed like a paradise.

The enigmatic man consumed her thoughts for the rest of her commute to the library, rendering her a smiling fool as she strolled through the bookshelves. Collecting every book she could find on medical malpractice and ethics, Charlie had amassed a significant pile by the time she settled at a long desk in a more secluded part of the library. Already deep into Raleigh Carrera’s album, Charlie had worked up quite a beat and was already slipping into a state of academic focus.

For a moment, everything was perfect – she had supportive friends, a future with Ethan Ramsey, and a chance at redemption.

And then it all went to hell.

Weeks later, Charlie would recognize this as the moment where everything changed. She would find humor in how naïve she’d been on that sunny afternoon, unaware that a world-altering event would rewrite her future.

But now, Charlie wouldn’t know that.

Now, Charlie knew just one thing – that she was looking at _Landry Olsen_ and that she wanted to punch him.

The sight of her former friend knocked the air out of her chest, and Charlie nearly stumbled back out of pure shock. Only a few days ago, the man in front of her had been a trusted confidant and daily companion, but his presence no longer brought the reassuring familiarity of friendship. After confessing to his betrayal, Landry at least had the decency to retreat to the shadows of Charlie’s life, vacating their apartment and straying from their daily rituals to avoid an encounter. Over the weekend, he’d morphed into a villainous monster hiding in the dark alleys of Charlie’s mind. He morphed the face of treachery and disloyalty, so much so that Charlie nearly forgot that he was more than just a monster in her bad dreams.

Landry Olsen, for better or worse, existed, and he was sitting right in front of her.

Instinctively, Charlie wanted to avoid him at all costs. Without any conscious effort, she was already devising an exit strategy that involved stealthily collecting her books and retreating to the deepest, darkest part of the library. And she might have followed through on that plan had it not outraged some deep part of her still bitter about his behavior.

Landry Olsen had taken enough away from her – her trust, her friendship, and potentially her career— and Charlie was not about to hand him the library, too.

With a defiant glint in her eyes, Charlie marched through the rows of books to the desk where Landry obliviously skimmed a medical textbook. Each step she took towards him was emboldening and powerful, and by the time she reached the little traitor, she felt like a walking hurricane ready to wreak havoc on her former friend.

“Olsen.”

Charlie’s chilling greeting was accompanied by the thud of her medical law textbook on the table, both of which left jolted the young doctor who had unknowingly encountered her wrath. Landry jumped, looking up at her with absolute terror before trying to settle into the appearance of a cold, angry opponent.

“Charlie, I was just-“ Landry stammered, but Charlie cut him off when she peered over his shoulder to the computer screen in front of him. An email draft was still lingering on the screen, addressed to his former roommates and warning them that he would be moving out while they were all at work the next morning.

“ _Email_ … Wow,” Charlie scoffed, crossing her shoulders across her chest as she levied a menacing glare in his direction, “What’s it like to be such a coward that you have to hide behind a computer screen just to talk to your former friends? Are you merely wallowing in shame for betraying the people who cared about you, or do you fear Jackie’s superior strength?”

“I’m not a coward!” Landry insisted, his voice peaking at a boyish high that made him seem more like a middle schooler than a grown adult, “You’re the one who brainwashed the entire apartment into excommunicating me. I’m merely diagnosing the situation – that’s what makes me a good doctor.”

“Only the _seventh_ -best,” Charlie didn’t hesitate to remind him of his insecurity regarding his ranking, but when she saw him flinch at the mention, she felt a momentary wave of guilt.

“One of us is being investigated for ethics violations, and it’s not me,” Landry sneered, “Who’s the best now?”

Charlie’s face twisted into that of horror and outrage at his statement, and her blood boiled until she could feel the rushing heat to her cheeks. _How dare he? That little shit_.

“Do you want to know the difference between the two of us?” Charlie leaned in, placing her hands on the edge of the table.

“I have a job, and you don’t,” Landry quipped.

Charlie slowly shook her head, “I don’t hide like you do, Landry. When a patient made a decision about her body and her life, I fought for her. I didn’t shrug my shoulders and put my career over her right to choose. When everyone turned on me, I worked harder to gain their respect. When confronted with my actions, I turned myself in and faced the hearing, even if it meant losing my career.”

Charlie surveyed Landry, shaking her head before saying, “And what did you do? You got _jealous_ of someone who cared about you, so you put your own ego over the lives of patients. Do you know how irresponsible it was to turn off my pager and lie to the staff? Those weren’t merely inconvenient pranks. _Real patients_ suffered because of my inability to treat them in the fasted way possible. You’re just a rat, Landry Olsen, and no amount of studying can compensate for how morally bankrupt and selfish you are.”

Every word felt like a small weight being lifted off her chest, but once they were all out, Charlotte found that she was still not fully liberated. She still carried the shame and the self-doubt carved into her heart by the shards of their shattered trust. When she found Landry Olsen on her first day at Edenbrook, she thought she found a friend, and every day after that, she’d lived a lie by his side. And yelling at him didn’t fix that.

Landry was visibly fuming, anger boiling up as he stared at the woman he’d deemed his opponent for months, but there was an element of self-hatred and self-doubt in his flaming rage. No matter his assertion that he was the morally superior actor in this power struggle, guilt nagged at him.

“How could you do it?” Charlie struggled not to choke on her words, fighting off the sob that had been building all weekend, “How could you do this to _your friend_?”

“I could say the same to you, Charlie,” Landry leaned in, his soft voice breaking the serene barrier of the library silence, “You knew how much it meant to me to work with Dr. Ramsey, and if it wasn’t bad enough that you were getting special treatment from him, you didn’t even think to bring me in to the fold. Did you ever give me a recommendation, Charlie? Even once?”

“No, because we’re grown adults. I don’t need to tell my boss that you’re a fan, Landry,” Charlie rolled her eyes, “If you wanted to talk to him, be a grown-up and _talk to him_.”

“How could I when he was always with you? You were _always_ his favorite. No wonder he made you number one.”

“Don’t you dare project that on me!” Charlie huffed, “You couldn’t even ask him for his autograph, so don’t pretend I’m the reason you were too afraid to make the impression you desperately seek. And even if he did know me better than he knew you, he treated us all equally, and deep down, you know that.”

Landry looked away, shaking his head as if deep in thought. After pausing, he returned to their conversation to admit, “For months, I thought Aurora was my competition when I should have always known it would come down to the two of us.”

Charlie raised her eyebrows, “You peaked at _fifth_ , and I was _first_. This whole narrative you’ve created is merely a scapegoat for your jealous behavior. I didn’t even want to join the competition, Landry. I wanted to put our friend group first, but the people I loved encouraged me to better myself. Can you imagine what we could have achieved if we’d worked together?”

“One of us was always going to win, Charlie. There was one spot on the diagnostics team, and there are two of us.”

Charlie took a deep breath, releasing her grip on the table and standing up straight to consider the implications of what he said. There was sad truth in what he said, and part of her wanted to find pity and understanding of his actions. But instead, she just saw inevitable this all was.

Landry Olsen was always going to betray her, and she was always going to be blindsided.

“Until one of us won, it was always going to turn out like this. It was always going to tear everything apart,” Landry had come to the same conclusion, but as he mirrored her thoughts, she just wished he could have shared it months ago.

_Until one of us won…_

Charlie paused, suddenly very far away from their fight and taken back to months of work and tests and emotional labor.

_Tear everything apart…_

The idea worked its way through her thoughts, working its way towards something important until –

“Oh my God.”

Charlie’s eyes lit up with her revelation, adrenaline and excitement coursing through her veins as she devoted her mind to the fulfillment of her new understanding. Every clue had been leading her to this, and now, she watched as it all fell into place.

“I know, it’s painful to hear, Charlie –“

“Landry, shut the fuck up,” Charlie cut him off, “You’re a fucking genius. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before…” Charlie took his laptop out of his hands, typing urgently in his search bar to confirm her theory.

“I-I am? I mean, I like to think I am… Wait, what’s happening? What are you searching for?”

“I know what’s killing Dr. Banerji,” Charlie admitted and, with a disappointed pause, added, “And I think I need your help.”

—

And thus, hours passed under the harsh fluorescent light of the Boston Public Library – every moment eaten by strained eyes and hurried yet deep studying. Piles of medical textbooks formed over the passing moments until they became mountains of their own, all opened to various important passages. Notes were scribbled on every piece of available paper, and in the center of it all sat two unlikely allies.

Or rather, seven unlikely allies.

When Charlie texted an “SOS – come to the library ASAP” message in her group chat, her friends all found their way to the library as soon as they woke from their respective naps. After the obvious outrage from coming face-to-face with Landry, they were soon just as engrossed in the medical mystery before them.

With an army of intelligent medical interns deep in research, it was only a matter of time before the clues finally lead to a completed puzzle – even if their intellectual debates were interrupted by several perturbed librarians demanding they lower their voices.

Still, as they worked through their conclusions, they hardly heeded the warnings.

“Listen, Dr. Banerji is dying of septic shock, which is the immune system’s overreaction to an infection. There has to be an infection attacking him, Charlie,” Bryce insisted, propped up on one arm as he sprawled across the library floor – oblivious to a group of teenage girls ogling him.

“I’m not saying there’s not an infection. I’m just saying it’s not attacking _him_ ,” Charlie insisted, making her case for what felt like the millionth time since her friends had arrived. Deep in her gut, Charlie knew that her diagnosis was correct, even if it was outlandish enough to make her fellow interns pause.

“Charlie, I know you had a similar case, but on this scale? A man dying of collateral damage is hard to swallow,” Sienna admitted, wanting to support her friend but feeling responsible to acknowledge the unlikelihood.

“Being uncommon doesn’t make it impossible,” Charlie reminded them, “The halls of Edenbrook have seen much stranger cases than the one I’m suggesting.”

“Just walk us through it one more time,” Elijah rubbed his eyes, urging them to forget how tired they were and focus on the task at hand. It didn’t help any of them that they were still bottles of champagne deep into the afternoon after their celebratory brunch.

“So, we know that Dr. Banerji’s immune system is responding to an infection, but every test came back negative. What I’m saying is that there is a bacterial infection, but it’s fighting against a bacteriophage, not Dr. Banerji himself –“

“Which is a virus that infects and replicates bacterial cells,” Kira chimed in, excited with her new medical understanding that had been ingrained in her mind after hours of back and forth. She nursed her hot coffee in victory, fighting off the first signs of a hangover from brunch. Bryce, the most affected by the champagne, raised his coffee in congratulations.

“But why hasn’t one won yet?” Elijah inquired, “It’s been almost a year.”

“Theoretically, if both had strong defenses and large enough populations…” Landry interjected, his voice soft with concern that he still didn’t belong in this conversation. As if in agreement, Jackie’s eyes narrowed at him.

“The fight could stay even,” Charlie confirmed.

“If this is true, then the phage could have gotten past the blood-brain barrier,” Jackie leaned forward, a light in her eyes of sudden inspiration. _She’s starting to get it._

“Which would explain his headaches… It’s encephalitis,” Elijah’s ears perked up, his face mirroring that of his Jackie’s.

“And a bacterial infection could have caused his chest pains and his bloody cough,” Sienna chimed in.

“The reason we haven’t been able to identify it is that these symptoms are secondary to the virus and the phage’s war against each other,” Landry admitted, “Charlie… I think this is it.”

Charlie took a deep breath, balancing on world-shattering fear and exhilaration at having solved it.

“We have to get to Banerji and test him. We’re running out of time to wipe out the phage and infection before his immune system kills him,” Charlie chewed on her lower lip, raking her fingers through her hair as the reality of the grave situation set in.

“But Charlie, you’re suspended. How are you supposed to get that kind of equipment?”

“And your ethics hearing is tomorrow,” Jackie’s didn’t hesitate to remind Landry of what he’d done, forcing Landry to avert his gaze and hang his head in shame.

 _The hearing_ …

Though the hearing had changed her life and consumed her thoughts all morning, it had all but disappeared from her mind. In the fervor of trying to solve an impossible case, she’d forgotten about her own problems, and now that they’d returned, there was a nagging self-protectionist instinct urging her to just let it lie and put her preparations first.

But then she remembered her day on the lake. She remembered the wonderful old man who welcomed her into his home and heart. She thought of the way he’d designated himself “Grandmentor” and cared for all those around him, particularly Ethan Ramsey. She considered the way he’d begged her to take care of him once he was gone, and suddenly, she knew there was no other option.

“I have to see this through,” Charlie stood quickly, dusting off her jeans and fumbling for her bag, “If I’m right and I never tried, I’ll never forgive myself. I’ll find a way to get my hands on that equipment.”

Charlie’s thoughts were a panicked, jumbled mess as she realized that she’d figured it out too late. Given the responsibility to save the diagnostician of a generation, she’d failed. She failed Ethan. She failed herself. She failed Naveen. And now, staring down the barrel of a ticking clock, it was too late…

“I’ll get it,” Landry’s voice cut through Charlie’s panicked thoughts about how to break into a hospital and steal expensive equipment, and it startled everyone, creating an unexpected silence.

“So you can just throw Charlie under the bus again?” Jackie cocked an eyebrow, daring him to admit the truth, “Frame her for theft and announce your brilliant diagnosis as they put her in the back of a cruiser?”

“How dare you? I _would_ never endanger Dr. Banerji’s life through such an unnecessary escapade!” Landry’s chest puffed up with fury and pride, urging Jackie to jump up and step up to him, tapping on his chest as if to deflate his ridiculous self-importance.

“Oh, but it’s perfectly fine to lie and hurt someone else just to further your own ambitions? You little, brown-nosing fuc-“ Jackie raged, forcing Charlie to put her arm between them.

“ _Jackie_ ,” Charlie put her arm around Jackie, gently pushing her away from Landry, and as she did, she felt a swell of pride that this badass cared about her with such intensity that she required physical removal from their ex-friend.

“You can’t actually be considering this, Charlie!” Jackie only paused her death glare to give Charlie an imploring glance, “You can’t trust him. He’s already sold you out once. What would stop him from doing it again to impress his hero?”

“Jackie, I don’t trust him. I _need_ him,” Charlie conceded, acknowledging a fact she’d hoped to forget the whole time they’d been assembled in the library, “None of you could ever get away with borrowing that equipment, and without it, Naveen could die.”

“There’s _one_ other person,” Sienna’s voice was tentative, almost afraid to mention Ethan, especially in front of Landry. Still, everyone stared at Charlotte with quiet understanding.

Charlie hesitated, thinking about the enigmatic man she’d gotten to know over the last year. Dr. Ramsey was the obvious choice for any medical concern regarding Naveen. He was the most familiar with his case and arguably the best diagnostician in the country, even if he’d lost his confidence. But Ethan… Ethan had faced the devastating, monumental task of accepting that the father figure he’d confided in for over a decade was dying. Charlie couldn’t give him that sliver of hope just for it to be ripped away.

“It’s just Landry,” Charlie breathed, knowing she couldn’t call Ethan yet.

Jackie huffed, “Then I’m going with you!”

“I don’t need a murder on my hands, but thank you,” Charlie chuckled softly, shaking her head as she tried to bury any reservations about leaving Jackie behind. Maybe she would need a little ass-kicking if she was going to trust Landry today… “But I need you here. I’ll never survive that trial without research, and you’re the best.”

“I’ll help, too,” Sienna declared before Jackie could respond.

“Me, too!” Elijah piped up.

“If med school taught me anything, it’s how to study with a hangover. It’ll suck, but you’re worth it, Charlie,” Bryce took a long gulp of his coffee as he flashed his unapologetically handsome smile, an old trick that used to make Charlie’s knees go weak, but as she stared at him now, she was overcome with friendly affection. _Her favorite hungover playboy._

“I’m staying, too. I don’t know much I can help, but at my worst, I can get coffee with the best of them,” Kyra interjected, unafraid of the hangover looming over her.

As Charlie looked around the people surrounding her, she was overwhelmed with how much she loved each of them. Even in the wake of Landry’s betrayal, she was bolstered by supportive friends she was lucky to call her family. Fighting off the tears threatening to slip down her cheeks, Charlie nodded her thanks.

“I love you guys.”

“We know! Now go save Dr. Banerji’s life,” Elijah shooed her away, forcing a small laugh from Charlie despite her best attempts to keep it together.

At that moment, it was clear what she had to do, but in that split second before she took the next step, she was terrified. What if she was wrong? What if she was right but too late?

But then she made herself take the next step.

Reluctantly turning to Landry, she prepared to give him orders but was started by the that, pained regret on his face as she stared at the mutual affection he was now excluded from. Tempted to offer him pity, Charlie reminded herself that his betrayal _wasn’t_ an eventuality. If she and her friends could love each other this unapologetically, Landry and Charlie could have worked through competing dreams.

“Go pick up the equipment from the hospital and meet me back at the apartment. I’ll take you to Dr. Banerji from there,” Charlie shouldered her bag, moving through the library to the door without a passing warning to her new sidekick.

Surprised, he initially struggled to keep up but managed to ask, “You know where he is? How?”

“Just meet me at the apartment,” Charlie ignored his question and opened the door for Landry, watching as he momentarily hesitated but eventually stepped out in the direction of the nearest parking garage.

Charlie booked it to the nearest subway station, desperate to make the next train. The entire walk, she couldn’t stop thinking about what she was doing – what she was about to test and the capability of those results in saving a dear man’s life. She easily could have been crushed under the gravity of it all, but rather, she was confident. As much as it killed her to admit, Ethan had been a pretty good teacher…

Charlie had hardly made it to her front door when she felt a buzz in her pocket. Dropping her bag at the door, she fished out her phone to give her newest notification a sliver of her attention as she ran around collecting her necessities.

 _One new text from Ethan Ramsey_.

Charlie’s fingers hesitated over the keyboard. She considered lying and telling him that she was safely locked away in the library, but even if she managed to get away with it, she didn’t want to lie to him. She considered telling him everything, but then she imagined the fallout… She couldn’t involve him until she knew.

Finally, she just pressed the “call” button and waited to hear his voice.

“Well, this is a surprise,” Ethan’s voice was smooth on the other end, instantly filling her with endorphins. Without realizing it, she had conjured up a whole scene of him on the couch with Jenner, likely nursing his hangover and perusing medical journals like most skimmed a newspaper.

“I know you hate texting,” Charlie smirked, leaning against her kitchen counter, “Must have really missed me to stoop to a text.”

“It’s a low point in my life,” Ethan conceded with a chuckle, and after a pause, he asked, “You’re not in the library, are you?”

Even if she had wanted to lie, his tone told her that he already knew the answer.

“I’m not…” Charlie admitted, chewing on her lower lip, “Something came up.”

“Tomorrow is serious, Charlie,” Ethan’s voice morphed into that of concern, making it even more clear than it was Ethan on the other line, not Dr. Ramsey, “If you lose…” Ethan trailed off, taking a deep breath before finally saying, “I assume that this ‘something’ is just as important as tomorrow if you’re willing to take it on today.”

“It’s more important.”

“And you’re not going to tell me?”

Charlie didn’t need to see Ethan to know that his eyebrows were raised in disbelief.

“I will… Later.”

“Ah, so you’re willing to miss studying but still intend to come over tonight?” Ethan was laughing now – a deep, real laugh that made Charlie’s body warm.

“I can multitask,” Charlie smirked, “Besides, I don’t put it past you to hand me a textbook the second I walk in the door.”

Ethan was smiling now, and he knew she could tell, even miles away. Instinctively, he was overcome with one thought, _That’s my girl._

“We’ll see, Rookie,” Ethan’s affection felt so warm that it might catch fire and burn down the walls he’d painstakingly built, but at least right now, he was okay with it.

“Goodbye, _Ethan_ ,” Charlie enjoyed saying his name, especially to his face. It felt like a novelty still, as if she were still bound by strict professionalism and damning power dynamics. For a moment, there was an urge to say something else, three very unfamiliar words, but she swallowed them and hung up the phone.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Landry.

Charlie grabbed her coat and her last-minute supplies, and with one step out the door, she was on the race to the cure.

The alert stopped Charlie in her tracks, guilt forcing blood to her cheeks she fumbled for the text.


	7. The Cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the eve of Charlie's ethics trial, Charlie thinks she's solved Naveen's mysterious illness, but as she begins to test Naveen, she realizes that they can only cure him with the help of one doctor - the very one she is trying to protect.

The car was silent.

It was strange how the absence of something so simple as sound or conversation could drive a person mad.

At first, Charlie tried to cut the silence by skimming local radio stations, but somehow, the overexcitement of the DJs just made the pair seem even more uncomfortable. Then, Charlie briefly tried to set up the aux cable and queue up a playlist, but that was even worse because it reminded Charlie of the “Road Trip JAMZ” playlist she’d made with her roommates for their weekend trips.

So, it was silence.

It’s not like Charlie _wanted_ to talk to Landry Olsen.

In fact, there was nothing she wanted to do less.

So, she just _thought_. She pondered the precarious diagnosis still forming in her brain, planning potential treatment and accounting for errors she may have made in her rush to an answer in the library. She considered calling Ethan, but she talked herself out of it. It would be cruel to give him hope and then take it back when she realized she hadn’t actually solved a medical mystery. It was better to wait… even if she had to wait with Landry.

Charlie peered at him with unease before finally blurting out, “Thank you. For getting the equipment, I mean.”

Averting her eyes back to the road, she didn’t have to meet his returning stare. It felt wrong to be nice to him, but how could she be a bitch when he was helping her save a man’s life?

Landry awkwardly cleared his throat, “No problem.”

“Any trouble stealing it?” Charlie didn’t know why she asked the question. Truthfully, she didn’t care if he had to dodge explosions and choreographed action sequences to get the equipment. She might have even been happier to hear that he’d faced trouble.

“Not at all,” Landry admitted, “Apparently, I have an honest face.”

Landry realized his mistake immediately, and Charlie awkwardly looked back at him as she murmured, “Yeah…”

_The honest face of a rat._

Somehow, the silence that followed felt even more awkward, but at least it wasn’t deafening this time. Landry’s uncomfortable faux pas made it easy for Charlie to focus her attention on the road. Going off the directions she’d unnecessarily dictated to Ethan on her last drive into the river, Charlie had no difficultly finding the remote cabin, but with each unfamiliar turn, Landry grew uneasy.

“Where are we?”

“We’re near the river,” Charlie murmured, eyes peeled for the next turn, “Naveen’s house should be close.”

“He lives here?” Landry surveyed the lush tranquility around him, noting that it was a far cry from Edenbrook’s city hustle, “He drove this far daily?”

Charlie shook her head, remembering the man she’d spent yesterday with as he tried to live out decades worth of hobbies and dreams, “He bought his dream home, but he was so busy with Edenbrook that he forgot to live there… I guess this is him trying to make up for lost time.”

Landry nodded, silently squirming as he considered the life lesson Dr. Banerji had learned in his old age. Perhaps, in his old age, he too would see beyond his career ambitions, but he secretly hoped he didn’t. If he ever experienced the epiphany of Dr. Banerji, Charlie would be the first ghost to haunt him.

“How do you know where it is?” Landry inquired, suddenly struck with how intimate Charlie seemed to be with Dr. Banerji’s inner workings.

Charlie hesitated, suddenly aware of a responsibility to remain delicate and a strange urge to hide and protect the precious beginning she had with Dr. Ramsey. Unlike her closest friends, Landry was not worthy of her trust. Like a young boy stargazing, Landry would have done anything for his heroes, and he idolized Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Banerji as mythical heroes. He would have done anything to punish Charlie for the simple crime of living out his fantasy.

But something else held her tongue. The connection she shared with Ethan was delicate, prone to shattering at the mere idea of impropriety. Ethan was free to leave as he pleased, and in the name of her protection, he often did. If the rest of the world knew, Charlie would lose Ethan.

The idea of losing him struck her with unexpected intensity. She felt guilty for being so easily distracted from Naveen’s condition, but the thought persisted.

Until she decided she couldn’t think about it anymore.

“Personnel files,” Charlie murmured, searching the passing trees for the hidden drive.

Landry watched her with uncertainty but didn’t press. Even with his wild, cruel imagination, he never considered the truth.

Before another round of awkward small talk could ensue, Naveen’s river cabin came into view. Outside, the river babbled a content tune, carried by a gentle wind that waved the nearby flowers and rustled the trees. 

To Charlie’s horror, the dock was empty. A half-finished painting lingered on an easel overlooking the water, but it was clear that it hadn’t been touched in some time.

“I’ll get the equipment,” Landry’s voice was calm, free from the panic that quickly consumed Charlie.

Guilt and concern drowned out the sound of his voice, replacing it with the sound of her own heartbeat. Carelessly leaving the car running, Charlie climbed out of the driver’s seat and began searching the property for her dear grandmentor.

Every time he evaded her glance, she heard a whisper in the back of her mind, _“You’re too late…”_

Despite insistently knocking on the windows of his cabin, she received no response by the time she reached the front door. After only a moment of hesitation, Charlie tried the lock and felt the door give way. Tiptoeing into the living room, she noted signs of life. The scent of chai lingered in the cottage, and almost all of the windows had been opened since she left the night before, allowing the breeze entry. Even more books had been disturbed, each marked nonchalantly with varying bookmarks. But no Naveen.

Deeply concerned, Charlie continued to look through the home, praying she’d find the smile she’d left the night before.

“Dear Charlotte?”

The voice was small and clearly labored, but it was Naveen.

Charlie spun around to see him gently rocking on a nearby chair in the corner, weaker than she had left him but still alive. Charlie choked back the oncoming sob that had been building since she’d stepped foot on his property, and she rushed towards him for a hug.

“What’s this about?” Naveen chuckled, weakly patting her back as she hugged him dearly, “Where’s Ethan?”

Wiping at her eyes, Charlie kneeled in front of her former boss, patting his hand as she admitted, “Ethan’s not with me.”

“Oh?” Naveen’s lips quirked into a smile, “Last night, you looked like you two were about to have a fight for the ages or stay in bed all day. The lack of his presence implies the former.”

“Both actually,” Charlie admitted, “Though with the ethics hearing, Ethan wouldn’t let me stay in bed all day.”

Naveen squeezed the young girl’s hand, overwhelmed with hope for his mentee. If Ethan could accept Charlie’s love, there was still hope for him.

“So, what brings you to a dying man’s side? Tomorrow, you have a very important hearing you should be preparing for.”

“I think…” Charlie paused, trying to find perfect words that didn’t exist, “I think I know what’s wrong with you, and with your permission, I want to try to save you.”

“Charlotte,” Naveen smiled sadly, “I’m not going back to the hospital. Ethan is correct when he says you have potential, but this is one mystery that will remain unsolved.”

_Knock. Knock._

Charlie jumped, having already forgotten that Landry had accompanied her. After she ran off, he waited for her return and eventually followed an unsure path around the house, searching for signs of his partner before ultimately knocking on the front door.

“Listen, I just need a few minutes. There’s another resident on the other side of your front door, and if you let us, we’ll explain our theory. We brought all of the equipment we would need to test you, and if we’re right, there’s a treatment that could save you,” Charlie stumbled through her speech, hope echoing with every word as she wiped at her eyes to prevent tears escaping, “I just need your permission. But if this is too much – if you’ve been through too much – I’ll understand. I’ll leave and never bring this up to another soul, not even Ethan.”

As Naveen considered Charlie’s proposal, it was almost as if the world stopped moving. The breeze came to a lull, ending the gentle melody of the windchimes outside. He may have reflected for seconds or years. Charlie’s heart beat to a fast rhythm, fueled by fear and hope.

And then, Naveen conceded, “Deal.”

Bursting with newfound energy and purpose, Charlie wasted no time in explaining her theory. She had almost finished her pitch by the time she opened the door for Landry, and as Naveen motioned for the young boy to set up the equipment in his living room, he chuckled at Charlie’s anxious enthusiasm.

“That’s quite clever,” Naveen admitted, arm hooked on Charlie’s as she led him to the sofa, “I never considered it… What inspired your epiphany?”

Charlie had an opportunity to claim the brilliant victory and exclude Landry, a devastating blow to her former friend. Such a move had the potential to match the cruelty Landry inflicted on her, but given the opportunity, Charlie faltered. So, she proved something the rankings had always implied but never fully determined – _Charlie Greene is better than Landry Olsen_.

“Dr. Olsen and I formed the idea together,” Charlie watched as Landry’s startled expression turned to guilt.

“I don’t believe we’ve met, Dr. Olsen, but it’s a pleasure to meet now,” Naveen smiled up at Landry, leaving the young doctor flabbergasted. 

“T-Thank you, Dr. Banerji. The pleasure’s all mine.”

With Landry starstruck, Charlie collected a sample and fed it into the molecular analysis system, anxiously waiting for the results. Landry filled the time by quizzing Dr. Banerji about his career, and he nearly seemed to forget the life-altering test being performed in the corner.

_Beep. Beep. Beeeep._

The machine’s alert gave everyone pause, and Charlie hurried to interpret the results.

“We got a hit! We were right!” Charlie covered her mouth in surprise, swallowing her excitement and happiness to read the rest of the results, “There’s both a bacteria and a phage in your system. The phage is c2 and the bacteria is… Acinetobacter baumannii.”

Naveen chuckled, “How fitting.”

“What do you mean?” Landry prompted, surprised by the diagnostician’s odd response.

“ _A. baumannii_ is a superbug only found in hospitals, resistant to any antibiotic. I have, quite literally, worked myself to death,” Naveen explained, laughing harder now, and he began to cry as he tried to contain his laughter, “I always feared I missed out on life by spending all my time at the hospital. It appears I have in ways I never foresaw.”

He turned to Charlie, patting her hand with disappointed yet dignified acceptance of his death sentence, “Charlie, you’ve done something remarkable. I’m thankful that you solved the final mystery of my life, but alas, there is no treatment. Nonetheless, be proud of yourself, just as I am.”

The disappointment was crushing, and Charlie sank deeper into the sofa, fighting the urge to cry. How could they come so far and still lose him? How could she solve a mystery but not save the patient? Could she even look at Ethan now, knowing she almost saved Naveen but failed?

Charlie looked up, a sudden last attempt forming in her brain, “What if we tipped the scales?”

“What do you mean?” Naveen questioned.

“As in… in favor of the phage?” Landry asked incredulously.

“So far, their war has been an even fight, neither side able to wipe the other out. But if we inject you with a massive dose of the phage...” Charlie defended her idea.

“Theoretically, the phage would wipe out the bacteria,” Naveen thoughtfully affirmed.

Landry looked between Charlie and Naveen incredulously, “You're talking about pumping him full of a potentially lethal virus! The one causing the encephalitis! His brain will swell. By the time the phage kills the bacteria, it'll have killed him, too.”

“At this point, Dr. Olsen, I'm going to die of something. And very soon,” Naveen sighed.

“If we get the dosage wrong, it's lethal. but if we get it right, then we should have just enough time to cure the phage before it kills him,” Charlie argued, slowly becoming more confident in her idea.

“Phage therapy is extremely risky! Getting the dosage right would be a pure gamble,” Landry shook his head, amazed that both of the doctors in front of him were willing to take such a risk, “I'm no expert, and I'm sorry, Dr. Banerji, but neither are you.”

“No,” Naveen smiled softly, turning to Charlie knowingly, “but I know someone who is.”

 _Ethan_.

“Oh…” Charlie paused with the weight of Naveen’s words. They needed to call Ethan… which meant she had to tell him the truth of what she’d done today, “S-Should you call him?”

Landry, once again, felt out of the loop and asked, “Dr. Ramsey? Are we talking about Dr. Ramsey?”

Both doctors ignored him.

“You’re more familiar with the diagnosis,” Naveen pushed Charlie, casting his eyes to her discarded smartphone on the sofa beside him.

Chewing on her lower lip, Charlie nodded resolutely, forcing herself to retrieve the phone and open his contact, “I’ll just… _call him_ ,” Charlie sounded the words out carefully, ignoring the growing anxiety in her stomach. Calling her lover and admitting that she’d mislead him was uncomfortable but doable. Calling him and giving him hope that he could finally save his mentor, even with slim odds? She would expose Ethan to the hope he’d carefully avoided for his own protection, and vulnerability was practically a death sentence for Ethan.

But she couldn’t waste time, and she had to do it.

“I’ll be right back,” Charlie pressed the call button and stepped out of the living room, ignoring Landry’s questions about who they were even talking about. As the phone rang, she kept walking until she reached the edge of the dock.

Outside, the desperate scene within the cabin felt distant. The river was still calm, gently rippling beneath the dock, and the birds innocently chirped.

“Charlie?” Ethan’s confusion was evident. He hadn’t expected to hear from her until later tonight, and even then, he anticipated a short text indicating whether or not she intended to come to his apartment. A call was suspicious.

“Hey,” Charlie considered wasting time with pleasantries and even small talk, but she blurted out, “I need you to come to Naveen’s cabin as soon as possible.”

“What?” Ethan asked incredulously, “ _Naveen’s_ cabin? Charlie, what are you doing there? You should be studying! Tomorrow is important-“

“I solved it.”

There was a pause.

“What?”

Charlie explained her diagnosis and how she’d driven up to Naveen’s cabin with Landry to test him, only for the theory to be confirmed. She didn’t give Ethan time to be shocked before she explained her dangerous suggested treatment. When she was done, she waited for his response, unsure how he would react.

“My God…” Ethan breathed.

“You’re the only one who can do the phage therapy,” Charlie eyed the cabin carefully, looking through the expansive glass to the diagnostician inside. Lowering her voice, she admitted, “I don’t think he has long left. It needs to be today.”

Charlie imagined Ethan on the other line. She could see his pensive stare, his lips forming a tight line as he weighed his options. She wondered what emotions lurked beneath his careful words – fear, anxiety, maybe even anger.

“I’ll be there in an hour.”

Ethan drove up the familiar drive with a lump in his throat.

Denial hadn’t gotten him anywhere. He was still staring down the barrel, but now, the finger was closer to the trigger. Naveen had given him a perfect farewell, a day by the river with dinner and laughter. They’d painted mediocre paintings, played silly games, and shared delicious wine. He’d given his approval of Charlie, which was hardly a surprise but still comforted Ethan.

When Ethan drove away last night, part of him expected it to be the last time he saw his dear friend, and as far as last memories go, it was a good one.

But now, there were new possibilities.

Perhaps Charlie performed a miracle, and they would save Naveen’s life. Maybe they would carry on as they did before.

Or perhaps they would fail. Despite Charlie’s diagnosis, the risky treatment would not save Dr. Banerji. Instead, Ethan would be faced with his friend’s death and could find culpability in his own failure.

Either way, Ethan was struck with a feeling that his world had changed. His story was being rewritten, and he no longer knew the ending.

When Ethan exited his car, he saw an unfamiliar one waiting in the driveway – likely that of the doctor who drove Charlie to the suburbs.

There were two familiar figures sharing the nearby tree swing, gently rocking with the wind and whispering to one another. Ethan absently wondered what those two had to talk about but accepted that neither of them would ever tell. Even if it was innocuous, they would like to make Ethan curious.

Charlie caught sight of Ethan and turned to face him, offering a surprisingly bright smile when she realized it was him. Naveen, though declining, noted that it was her first true smile since arriving to his cabin.

Rousing Naveen from his seat, she held out a hand to begin walking back to the house. They’d left the house only a half hour before, when Landry’s questions grew tiresome for the physician. She’d offered to take him to the dock, but he only made it as far as the swing. There, she’d tried to keep him awake by talking. They’d shared some gossip – mostly salacious hospital gossip – before discussing Charlie herself. Naveen had lots of advice for his young protégé, most of it about how to take care of Ethan should he not survive, but the rest varied from how to win her hearing to how to make the dishwater coffee at Edenbrook drinkable.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Charlie offered as Naveen hooked his arm through hers, “We’ll still love you.”

“I want to, dear girl,” Naveen nodded his approval, “One last push, am I right?”

Charlie nodded in agreement, helping him to the cabin. When they got close enough, Naveen nodded to Ethan.

“Hello, Ethan.”

“Naveen, you look…” Ethan trailed off, overcome with how frail his strong mentor had become.

“Almost as bad as you do,” Naveen quipped.

Ethan laughed softly, averting his eyes to the medical bag he’d prepared.

“Well, considering everything, I look fine,” Charlie interjected, trying to lessen the obvious tension. She nodded towards the house, “Let’s do this.”

After a moment’s hesitation, the three stepped into the cabin and accepted what they were all about to do. Charlie led Naveen to the couch, making sure he was comfortable before she moved to assist Ethan with whatever he needed.

Ethan stopped at the threshold, staring at Landry Olsen in confusion.

In Charlie’s brief synopsis of the day, she’d neglected to mention Landry’s role, but Ethan sure as hell knew who he was. When Ethan picked drunk Charlie up only a few nights before, he’d heard all about Landry Olsen, _the rat_. He’d betrayed Charlie and endangered patients, and Ethan _hated_ him.

Landry, who had been nervously twiddling his thumbs while Charlie and Naveen spoke outside, was awestruck with Ethan. Working with him on a case was his dream, even if it was an unfortunate event like this one. But something about Dr. Ramsey’s gaze made Landry squirm…

Ethan looked pointedly at Landry and then back at Charlie in a silent question. Charlie shook her head, giving out an exasperated sigh as she murmured, “He’s helping.”

“ _He’s_ helping?” Ethan whispered back, “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“He helped me form the diagnosis,” Charlie admitted as she helped Ethan unpack his bag, “Without him, I couldn’t have gotten the equipment I needed to test Naveen.”

“You could have called me, _not him_ ,” Ethan motioned towards Landry in disgust.

“ _You_ quit, remember?”

“I can still get in the hospital, Charlie.”

“I…” Charlie paused, hands empty now that she’d run out of things to help him with, “I couldn’t call you yet. Not until I knew. I couldn’t… I couldn’t get your hopes up until I knew.”

“Oh.”

Ethan was looking at her strangely now. Charlie didn’t know this stare. She wasn’t even sure if she’d seen it before.

He was overcome with something that felt _foreign_. She cared for him. She sacrificed ease and comfort to protect him, and it made him…

There was a four-letter word running through his mind, and he struggled to ignore it.

Trying to shake himself out of it, Ethan returned to the task at hand. Unzipping the cooler, he carefully extracted the pre-prepared serum. Now facing Naveen, he explained, “This should be the exact amount of c2 bacteriophage to overwhelm the _A. baumannii_ while still giving us time to eradicate the phage before it kills you... if my calculations are correct.”

Naveen smiled reassuringly, “They are.”

As Ethan stepped forward with the syringe, Charlie wanted to follow. She wanted to comfort Ethan and stay by his side through the difficult act, but she knew she couldn’t. So, she stayed behind as Ethan joined him on the couch.

Ethan prepared Naveen’s arm, trying to convince himself that this was any other patient.

“I’m sorry, old friend,” Naveen murmured to his protégé.

“You? What do you have to be sorry for? I’m the one who failed,” Ethan’s words were uncommonly raw, and for the two residents in the room, they felt as if it was something they were never meant to hear.

“No. I failed you,” Naveen explained, “When I thought I was incurable, I pulled away from you. I thought I was doing both of us a favor.”

“How?”

“I wanted you to stop seeing me as a mentor. I didn't want you to repeat my mistakes,” Naveen admitted.

“What mistakes? Being great at what you do?” Ethan asked skeptically.

“ _Obsessing_ over being great. Neglected friendships. Missed chances,” Naveen chuckled, “I was so singularly focused that I never even stopped to have a family... or a life.”

“Naveen –"

“But maybe I was wrong after all. Maybe I didn't miss out on life,” Naveen mused, “When you're slowly dying, you have so much time to think. But I haven't been thinking about anything I thought I'd missed. I've been remembering all the joy I've experienced. All the brilliant young doctors I've had the privilege of watching grow. The bravery of my patients. The love and loss of their families... I've experienced more of life than anyone could hope to in a hundred years.”

Naveen rested his other hand atop Ethan's.

“And I realized... I did have a family after all.”

Overwhelmed with the sentiment, Ethan’s eyes filled with tears, and he coughed awkwardly to avoid a display of emotion.

“I'm going to inject the phage now. And I need you to fight it. I need you to live. Got it?” Ethan’s eyes held meaning that Naveen understood clearly, and he nodded his agreement.

Holding Naveen’s hand, Ethan injected the virus. As Naveen leaned back and accepted the treatment, the young doctors surrounding him waited in silence.

For hours, they monitored him. Occasionally, one would disappear to go to the bathroom or retrieve a glass of water, but they remained dedicated to the patient before them. Landry didn’t dare fill the time with questioning Dr. Ramsey, even though he desperately wanted to.

Sometimes, he just watched Dr. Ramsey and Charlie. They sat beside each other on the couch, not touching or even speaking, but there was an undeniable attachment. Landry’s blood ran cold when he realized that it was an attachment he could never mirror. Jealousy hadn’t gotten him very far… It wouldn’t create his dream relationship with the prestigious doctor. It wouldn’t determine a fabulous career. It just destroyed his relationships… And when Ethan occasionally glanced at Landry, he knew that he wasn’t going to win his favor any time soon.

Finally, Landry excused himself, leaving just Charlie and Ethan alone.

Instinctively, Charlie’s hand found Ethan’s, and she gave him a reassuring squeeze.

“You shouldn’t be here…”

Charlie’s eyes darted to him, “What?”

“Naveen’s state implies that your plan is working, and if it is, he’ll require overnight attention. You can’t do that, Charlie.”

“I’m not about to give up, Ethan. I’m seeing this through.”

“You have,” Ethan’s voice was stern, “If he survives tonight, he survives because of you. But if you stay here, he may be the last patient you ever save. Go home. Prepare for your hearing.”

Charlie shook her head and paced the living room, trying to exercise her annoyance and tension, “I can’t just _leave you here_.”

“You can, and you will,” Ethan was frustrated to see her stubborn response, but he wasn’t surprised. If it wasn’t for her stubborn nature, they wouldn’t be here at all.

“You’re not my boss anymore. You can’t make me go,” Charlie crossed her arms defiantly.

“You’re right, Rookie,” Ethan nodded thoughtfully, “But I wouldn’t ask you to go if I didn’t believe it was the best decision.”

Charlie averted her gaze, growing angry as she realized he was right. It was the logical decision, but damn it, she didn’t want to be logical.

“Let me stay with you, please,” Charlie found herself begging, “Don’t send me away.”

Ethan stood, eyeing the doctor in front of him. It was still strange for him to see all of Charlie – the doctor, the woman, the smile. In a moment that may define her career, she was more than a doctor. She was someone who cared for him, begging to stay, and he couldn’t let her. Part of him wanted her to stay, of course, but it was almost as if that voice got no say. The idea was illogical and so removed that it never occurred to him to listen.

“I’m not sending you away,” Ethan crossed the distance between them, hand on either of her cheeks. He leaned his forehead to hers, gently kissing her nose, “This is the right decision.”

Charlie remained silent, nodding as she slowly accepted the decision, “Okay.”

“Thank you,” Ethan whispered, pressing a kiss to her lips.

“I would have liked to come over tonight,” Charlie murmured, startled by the memory of this morning. Last night felt so far away… and the plans they’d made were now just ideas.

“Another time?” Ethan suggested, kissing her again. This time, it felt different. The kiss was the same, but the sentiment felt dangerous. Everything had changed, and now, Charlie wasn’t as convinced she would get a next time. He smiled at her one more time before moving away. Charlie’s fingers ghosted her cheeks where his hands had just been, missing their warmth. She watched as he crossed the room to check on Naveen.

Before she could say anything else, Landry returned.

“He’s unresponsive,” Ethan announced, "I'll need to run further tests, but this is the encephalitis getting worse.”

“That means the phage is winning! Our plan is working!” Landry’s excitement was a stark contrast to Charlie’s conflicted nod. She wondered how much of his excitement came from the thrill of saving Dr. Banerji and how much could be attributed to his selfish desire to prove himself to Dr. Ramsey.

“Now, things get dangerous,” Ethan willfully ignored Landry, “I'm going to have to carefully monitor him overnight. You two should head home.”

“Are you sure?” Landry clarified, “I’ll stay if you need any help.”

“I’m sure,” Ethan affirmed, “Can you take Charlie home?”

“Of course,” Landry swallowed his disappointment that he didn’t receive a personalized compliment, and Charlie resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

She began collecting the equipment that Landry had stolen, carefully packing it so that there would be no sign that it had been stolen in the first place. Landry assisted, and unfortunately, with his help, it didn’t take long at all. As the two doctors began to leave, Charlie stopped, and looking over her shoulder, she said, “Good night, Dr. Ramsey.”

He smiled softly, nodding his goodbye, “Good night, Dr. Greene. Thank you for your work today.”

Though he hesitated, Ethan forced himself to compliment Dr. Olsen as well. Even if he was a rat, he worked hard, and Charlie couldn’t have saved Naveen without him. “Good work, Dr. Olsen.”

Dr. Olsen’s happiness was evident, but it was tainted with regret and shame.

“T-Thank you, Dr. Ramsey.”

And with that, Charlie and Landry left the cabin.

Maybe Charlie would have walked slower if she’d known all that had changed. Her diagnosis sent all of Edenbrook in a new direction, and it would be days before she would understand. But one day, she would. And she wished she’d stayed just a bit longer and held on just a bit tighter…

But they found a cure, and Naveen was saved. And she had to hold on to that.


	8. The Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After winning the ethics trial, Charlie goes to Donahue's, where all of Edenbrook is celebrating. But there's just one person she wants to see...

Somehow, Charlie actually _won._

Dr. Banerji made a miraculous recovery and sung Charlie’s praises to the board, tipping the scale in her favor. She was unanimously cleared of the charges and reinstated. Even though she watched it all unfold, she still couldn’t believe it really happened.

She really _won_ … She defended herself and proved that she was a competent, dedicated doctor who cared for her patients. She secured her spot as a resident at Edenbrook and could finish her training. The terrifying trial had turned into a light at the end of the tunnel. In her wildest dreams, Charlie couldn’t have come up with this, and even if she had, she couldn’t have anticipated the celebration that ensued.

Donahue’s had never been so crowded. It was as if all of Edenbrook had emptied out into the old bar, claiming every square inch for their own revelry. It wasn’t every day that a plucky young resident beat the system and won a career-altering ethics trial, and nobody wanted to miss the celebration. Even Landry made it to the occasion, though he kept to himself in the only quiet booth in the entire bar.

Charlie couldn’t take a breath without someone raising a toast and cheering her name with the offer of a new tequila shot. As tempted as she was to knock back every free drink and join the party, something stopped her.

Her eyes scanned the party as if in desperate search, silently greeting each face with disappointment.

_He’s not here._

“Looking for someone?” Sienna asked, watching her friend’s eyes flit to each corner of the room.

“Hmm?” Charlie hummed absently, chewing on the straw of her half-finished drink.

“Maybe a missing attending?” Sienna prodded, still waiting for Charlie to meet her knowing gaze. Charlie resisted letting her eyes meet those of her dear friend because she knew that honesty would follow, and Charlie didn’t want to be honest.

She didn’t want to admit that she’d been watching the door the entire party, wishing that every well-meaning friend could have been someone else. She wanted to lie and say that she was more satisfied by the presence of her closest colleagues and friends. She wanted to shrug off the deep need inside of her to see his face. She wished that she didn’t want to celebrate with him and only him.

So, instead, she ignored Sienna’s accusation, “What do you mean?”

 _He’s not here_ , the words echoed in the back of her mind, and Charlie took a long sip of her mixed drink to drown them out.

“Maybe Dr. Ramsey?” Sienna’s eyebrows grew closer together, concern slowly etching across her face. Why was Charlie being so nonchalant? Why wouldn’t she look at her?

Sienna opened her mouth to directly confront Charlie and force the truth from her lips, but before she could, a surgical resident interjected.

“ _Dr. Ramsey_?” the resident slurred, grabbing her round of shots from the bartender and leaning across Charlie’s chair to loudly whisper, “A nurse on duty told me that he’s in the Chief’s office right now. Apparently, he’s signing paperwork to go back to his old job.”

Charlie’s blood ran cold.

“ _His old job_?” Charlie repeated.

“Can you believe it? I mean, he’s hot but such an asshole! I can’t believe they hired him back,” the resident held up a shot, “We should get as fucked up as we possibly can before he’s back!”

“Yeah,” Charlie’s forced laughter was enough to convince the surgical resident to offer her a shot, and this time, Charlie accepted. Weakly holding it up in a toast, she knocked back the shot and waited for the cheap tequila’s burn to drown out her thoughts.

His old job.

The one that kept them apart.

The reason he stayed away.

And just like that, an unspoken fear settled deep in her belly.

 _I’m going to lose him_ , the thought was fleeting, and Charlie did her best to pretend it never happened at all. Because, if she admitted it was there, it would be real.

And it couldn’t be real.

Their time together had been short, but did that devalue its meaning? It was one weekend, but it was the product of a year of yearning and silently adoring. Last week, it was just a connection, a strange draw she struggled to explain, but now… it was more. Wasn’t it?

 _He promised me that he would stay,_ she reminded herself softly. The memory was cast in warm, golden sunlight. It was a summer day in the middle of winter. It was more than just a product of circumstance. It meant something…

She thought back to the night before in Naveen’s cabin. Something about it felt far away now in way that it hadn’t only an hour before, but if she thought about it enough, she could feel Ethan’s delicate kiss on her nose. Maybe the hazy, comforting warmth that filled them – that strange feeling that lingered on the tip of her tongue yet remained unsaid – maybe _that_ was more than the rules that governed the last year.

Could it all go back to the way it was before? Was their growth merely a mirage shared by two damaged, destitute doctors?

“Charlie, are you okay?” Sienna was by Charlie’s side now, drink no longer in hand. Instead, she was now holding Charlie’s hand, offering the support that she knew her friend needed, but Charlie didn’t take it. If she told herself that she didn’t need it, she didn’t, right?

“Of course,” Charlie was smiling, but it didn’t reach her eyes, “I mean, who really thought Dr. Ramsey could stay away from Edenbrook? And who cares? Tonight’s about me anyways.”

“But, you two-“ Sienna tried, knowing that Charlie was on a collision course to something dark and painful if she continued to neglect it, but there was no changing Charlie’s mind. She was in a bar full of distractions and surrounded by people who wanted to distract her.

“Come on, I just won the ethics trial of a lifetime,” Charlie squeezed her hand back, “Because of you guys! So, let’s focus on that.”

Sienna hesitated but nodded anyway. Collecting a new drink from the bartender, she held it up in celebration, “To Charlie Greene!”

“To Charlie Greene!” the bar echoed, embracing Charlie with enthusiasm and pride.

Even without the copious amounts of alcohol, it was intoxicating. For weeks, Charlie had been plagued by self-doubt, public suspicion, and overarching danger, but now, the cloud was lifted. It was a happy ending she never let herself hope for. The dedicated, ethical intern beat the system and won her career. Even her opponents were willing to engage in the intoxicating revelry. Tonight, everyone loved Charlotte Greene. But would they tomorrow?

Winning a trial didn’t determine smooth sailing for the rest of her career, and it was unlikely that everyone in this bar would remain her ally. Yet, under the neon lights and thundering bar banter, tomorrow didn’t really seem to exist.

But even if it was out of sight, tomorrow existed. Reality existed. And even if she became so good at pretending to not think about Ethan Ramsey that she almost fooled herself, she was still thinking of him and waiting for him to step through the front door to Donahue’s.

“That was fucking miraculous, Charlie!” Bryce had to yell over the music to get Charlie’s attention. He could have easily moved their conversation to the quieter booths in the back of the bar, but because he wanted to keep dancing and had already paid for the next 3 songs on the juke box, he kept them on the dance floor. Bryce took Charlie’s hand and spun her with flourish, flashing a bright grin, “The woman of the hour!”

“Now, I just need someone else to fuck up and take some of the spotlight,” Charlie smirked, spinning back into Bryce’s arms. He was warm and comforting and distracting.

“You had the spotlight long before you fucked up, and I’ll make you enjoy it,” Bryce shook his head in playful admonishment. With a wicked grin, he yelled into the bar, “Speech! Speech!”

Charlie’s face twisted with horror, watching as the rest of the bar picked up his chant. Before she could stop him, Bryce ushered her to a booth, holding her hand as she stepped onto the booth to look over the crowd.

“Okay, okay,” Charlie tried to soothe the crowd, “I’ll give a speech.”

Now, she could see that the crowd around her had familiar faces. They were people she saw every day, and that made the lump in her throat even larger. She was touched by their cheers but intimidated by their familiarity. Had all of these people really just witnessed the most vulnerable point in her life and come to a bar to congratulate her?

“I wouldn’t be here without you!” Charlie admitted, “Without my friends or my colleagues or…” Charlie trailed off, suddenly aware of how true her speech had become, “I couldn’t have survived today. Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

There were several _“awe”s_ and _“how sweet”s_ mixed into the cheers, but Charlie hardly noticed them for Kyra’s surprise hug. Nearly falling off the booth, Charlie stabilized herself by holding onto Bryce’s shoulder and stepped off the booth carefully.

“We love you, Charlie!” Kyra crooned in her ear, making Charlie laugh.

“That was gross,” Jackie muttered, her arms crossed but a smile betraying her nonchalance.

“It was amazing, and you know it,” Elijah countered.

“I’m serious,” Charlie insisted, looking to each of her closest friends as they circled around her, “I couldn’t have done it without you. If you hadn’t helped me yesterday, I would have ruined my entire career.”

“We only saved your ass a _little bit_ ,” Bryce smirked, draping his arm over Kyra, and she elbowed his side in return.

“You were saving a man’s life. We’d have to be assholes to not help,” Jackie said it like it was too obvious to have to explain, earning Charlie’s adoring smile in return.

“Accept the ‘thank you’,” Charlie demanded.

“ _Fine,_ but I’ll need a tequila shot to do it.”

“Coming right up,” Charlie accepted Jackie’s conditions, leaving her friends and heading to the bar. As she moved through the crowd, she was stopped by well-wishers, each with something encouraging to add. Even Zaid was supportive.

She should have reveled in the positivity, saving it up for her next bad day, but unease settled in her chest.

After everything she’d been through, she hadn’t had a moment to process any of it – _the trial, the outcome, Ethan, Naveen, Landry…_ As the anxiety spread through her body, she became even more overwhelmed. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Landry walking towards her, and she instinctively ducked into the crowd, moving in the opposite direction. Tonight was her night, and she didn’t want Landry to complicate it any further. At best, he wanted to talk about last night, and at worst, he wanted to talk about their entire relationship. Maybe she’d let him explain himself, but not tonight.

And as she tried to avoid him, she caught sight of someone else.

 _Rafael_.

A flash of guilt momentarily paralyzed her.

She tried to reason herself out of it. There no real reason to feel guilty… She and Raf were never actually together. Their relationship was built on mutual attraction, appreciation, and stolen kisses in the moonlight. No promises were ever made, and she hadn’t technically done anything wrong by spending the weekend with Ethan.

But her guilt defied reason. With or without explicit commitment, Charlie knew that she could have loved Rafael. She could have fallen into his arms and been happy. But then Ethan happened.

Not wanting to face him either, Charlie turned yet again.

She wasn’t moving towards the bar now. She didn’t even realize she was walking towards the door until her hand was on the door handle, twisting it and pushing open the door.

Charlie stepped out of the party, and her senses felt attacked by the fresh air and gentle lull of the city. Closing the door behind her, Charlie leaned onto the exterior brick wall of Donahue’s, gulping in the fresh air in attempt to catch her breath. Closing her eyes, she let the sound of the party fade into the background. They were all there for her, but deep down, Charlie wished she could have just run.

_“Rookie.”_

Charlie’s eyes flew open, taking in the sight before her.

It was Ethan. She absently noted to herself that it was Ethan, not Dr. Ramsey, standing in front of her. Even if he returned to Edenbrook tomorrow morning, he was still just Ethan tonight.

“Hey,” Charlie’s voice was soft, but her eyes never left his.

Ethan awkwardly looked down, hands in his pocket as he sheepishly apologized, “Sorry that I’m late.”

“It’s okay. You’re here now,” Charlie was surprised at how much she meant what she said. Even though she’d spent all night looking for him, just seeing him now was enough. The fear of losing him that had been slowly building since she left him with Naveen last night felt dangerously close to the surface, but somehow, she was smiling at him.

When her world was falling apart, she wanted Ethan Ramsey – even if he was the cause of her anxiety.

Ethan nearly flinched at her words. On the walk to Donahue’s from Edenbrook, he’d prepared what he would say to her. He’d created a pragmatic, efficient explanation to why he had taken back his old job and what that would mean for their relationship, but he hadn’t counted on her looking at him like that – or how happy he was to see her, too.

“I, um,” Ethan faltered, forgetting the speech he’d planned, “I…”

“You owe me, you know,” Charlie cut him off. She knew what he was about to say, but she wasn’t ready to hear it.

“I do?” Ethan was confused but secretly grateful for the distraction.

“You owe me a raincheck on a night at your apartment,” Charlie explained, her gaze never leaving his.

“Oh…” Ethan nodded, “I suppose I do.”

Glancing at the party over her shoulder, she shrugged softly, “I was getting a bit overwhelmed anyway. How about now?”

Ethan knew he was supposed to say no. He was supposed to tell her the truth and set her free. He was supposed to expose himself as a disappointment and earn her hatred, but he didn’t. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to celebrate with your friends?” Ethan glanced at the bar. Even from outside, he could hear Bryce urging Kyra to do body shots with him.

“I’m sure,” Charlie assured him, silently adding, _I wanted to be with you anyway_.

“Okay then,” Ethan agreed, pulling out his phone to order a car. As they waited, Ethan leaned against the brick exterior alongside Charlie, his hand slowly finding hers. Tangling their fingers together, Ethan gave her a reassuring squeeze.

 _I’m sorry_ , he thought to himself.

Squeezing his hand back, Charlie wished she could have screamed, _Please, stay._

If they had it their way, they would have stayed like that until their car arrived, but just when they least expected it, the door to Donahue’s flung open.

Instantly dropping each other’s hands, Charlie and Ethan tried to act casual as they moved away from each other, both clearly flustered.

Landry emerged from the bar, looking downtrodden and guilt-ridden. He stopped when he saw the two doctors on the side of the building, squinting as if he doubted his own eyes. Could that be…?

“Charlie? Dr. Ramsey?”

“Hey, Landry,” Charlie blurted out. Shit, he didn’t see anything, did he?

“We were just discussing a patient,” Ethan blurted out. Charlie tried not to grimace at his poor attempt at subtlety. Neither of them had even worked in the hospital for a week. How could they be discussing a patient?

“Oh, Dr. Banerji,” Landry seemed oblivious to the obvious blunder of Dr. Ramsey, stepping closer to them, “I was so happy to see how quickly he recovered.”

“Right,” Ethan nodded, amazed that Dr. Olsen had saved him without realizing it. What were the chances that Dr. Olsen was the only one who knew he still had an active patient? “He’s weak now, but I anticipate a full recovery. Thank you for your work, Dr. Olsen.”

“I’m just happy I could be of help,” Landry beamed at the compliment. He looked back to Charlie, pausing before saying, “I was actually hoping to speak to you, Charlie.”

“Oh?” Charlie swallowed, eyeing the road in fear that Ethan’s car would arrive and expose them.

“I wanted to say goodbye,” Landry began, “I’m transferring to Mass Kenmore.”

Charlie was surprised to not feel the excitement she expected. If she had heard this yesterday, she would have jumped for joy and reveled in her newfound freedom. But after everything that happened, she just found herself saying, “Good luck, Landry.”

He smiled appreciatively, “You, too, Charlie.”

Charlie nodded, waving him goodbye as he walked away and disappeared into the city.

Charlie and Ethan both waited silently to make sure he was gone before speaking.

When she was sure he was gone, Charlie turned to him, failing to hold in her laughter.

“ _What_ was that?”

“What was what?” Ethan asked incredulously, turning to look at her. Her laughter was adorable, and even if she was laughing at him, it was contagious.

“We were talking about a patient? _Very_ subtle,” Charlie teased, momentarily forgetting about the fear that had consumed her only minutes before.

“Oh, and you were _so_ subtle staring at the road the entire time. You looked like you were planning your grand getaway,” Ethan didn’t hesitate to return fire, leaning his shoulder against the wall as he watched her laugh. Even painted in the red neon glow of Donahue’s sign, she was so beautiful.

This time, Ethan didn’t feel a wave of guilt as he admired her. It was as if they were free, if just for now. Tomorrow, he would return to Edenbrook and become her superior again, and tonight, he would have to tell her. But right now, they could just laugh.

“I thought the car would come!” Charlie defended herself, arms crossed, “What were we going to do then?”

“I don’t know. Maybe lead a secret expedition to the suburbs to diagnose a patient,” Ethan was feeling bold, and he was quickly rewarded with a look of shock and feigned outrage on Charlie’s face.

Swatting at him, she shook her head, “Oh, so you are a little mad at that?”

“Of course, I was! Instead of calling a famed diagnostician, you enlisted the help of the one intern who you trust the least. How could I not be offended?” Ethan smirked, “There’s also the question of my pride. My protégé solved a medical mystery because she was yelling at someone in a public library, not because of my mentorship or dedicated research.”

Charlie made a show of rolling her eyes, leaning her temple to the wall as she looked up at him. Sometimes, she forgot how much taller he was. Usually, she remembered because he was being an asshole at work and used his height to solidify his superiority, and she would mutter something like “that fucking giraffe” to try and put them back on equal playing fields. Tonight was the first time that she’d noticed it innocuously. It was just another part of Ethan.

And he was so handsome when he was laughing… When he was smiling like this, there were little crinkles on the sides of his eyes, a sign that he’d actually been happy once in his life. _Old man_ , she thought playfully. She wanted to point them out and remind him of her comparative youth. The last time she’d done that was in his bed…

Charlie’s smile faltered slightly, a lump forming in her throat as she realized the finality of the moment. This was likely the last time she would share playful emotional intimacy with Ethan, and she didn’t really want to waste it by calling him an old man.

“You know why I did it, though,” Charlie reminded him, her voice much softer now.

Ethan nodded thoughtfully. Nobody had ever gone out of their way to protect him like that, except for maybe Naveen. If someone hid something, it was either to avoid his disapproval or to prove their dominance. He wasn’t used to someone having such pure motives.

He was struck by the idea that Charlie would have done anything for him. Hell, she already had. She’d lied to her friends and colleagues for months while secretly studying Naveen. She’d helped fight Declan Nash and made him an enemy on the basis of Ethan’s distrust of him. She’d even gone back to the scene of a fire to get a toy for Delores’s baby, and she’d stayed with him to make sure that baby made it through the night.

And what had Ethan done for Charlie in return?

He’d taken his old job back.

 _What an asshole,_ he thought to himself.

“I do,” Ethan acknowledged, his hand tentatively reaching for hers once more.

There wasn’t time to say much else. Soon, Ethan’s car arrived, and they had a choice to make.

“Are you sure you want to come with me?” Ethan asked, hand on the car door as he looked back at Charlie. There were so many layers to his question, so many unspoken words, and so many unnamed feelings wrestling for dominance.

Charlie thought about all of the people celebrating her victory in the bar. They thought she was a hero, and they were full of compliments and congratulations. They were safe and supportive, and if she’d gone back in, she knew she wouldn’t have to go through this pain. She could bury it and pretend she’d never loved Ethan Ramsey.

But, deep down, they both knew that Charlie wasn’t going to say no.

Without a hint of hesitation, Charlie crossed the distance and nodded her head, “Yeah, I’m sure.”


	9. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow, Charlie and Ethan will return to Edenbrook and resume their professional relationship, but with one last night before everything changes, they have to say goodbye...

Ethan Ramsey held Charlie’s hand in the back of the car.

They didn’t speak – there was too much to say, and none of it was happy. They quietly evaded conversation with an unshakable yet familiar intimacy that verged on discomfort. Her hand fit so well in his hand that it seemed unnatural. How could two people feel so irrevocably tied after such a short amount of time and in such unfortunate circumstances? Charlie was sure that, if she moved too far away, an invisible string would pull her back to him.

_Yet she would have to._

The thought was so intrusive that it caused Charlie to physically shift in her seat. It was denial, surely. She knew she would have to leave him in the morning, but the mere thought made her squirm. It wasn’t that she felt sad – she’d blocked that out in the silence of the car – but that she just didn’t believe it. It was too gruesome, too impossible to feel real. Even as it loomed on the horizon, her mind rejected it as a possibility.

You didn’t find something like this and then leave it, did you?

Ethan was haunted by the words he hadn’t said in the alleyway. He should have told her. He should have admitted his cowardice, not returned to it. But, when he watched her eyes shimmer with tears under the neon lights, he couldn’t do it. And he heard her silent pleas to _not_ tell him. He didn’t know what was worse – that he had betrayed her by returning to Edenbrook or that she knew and still came home with him. He knew that he was supposed to deliver the speech he painstakingly prepared, but he also knew that, in any universe, he couldn’t have said them when he saw the look she gave him.

He eyed her in the seat beside her. She was so beautiful…

He didn’t know if he would ever understand how he found her or if he could ever rationalize the attraction that made their forbidden relationship seemingly inevitable.

Once, he’d been warned that, if he failed to check his ego, the universe would do so for him. A well-meaning instructor sat Ethan Ramsey down to share a cautionary tale of diagnosticians who fancied themselves as gods and thought nothing existed that they could not diagnose. At the end of the tale, the proud doctor was humbled by an unsolvable mystery that plagued them to their own deathbeds. Then, Ethan learned no valuable life lesson. If such a fate was associated with becoming an accomplished physician, he was willing to risk it. Later, as an adult, Ethan thought he had found his mystery in Naveen’s illness. But now, he wondered if it was really _Charlie_.

Nothing could rationalize the weekend they shared, nor the feeling in his chest when he thought of leaving her.

The drive to Ethan’s apartment was too short, and before either were ready, the car pulled to a stop outside of Ethan’s building and politely waited for them to exit the car. Charlie’s door was closer to the sidewalk, so despite her initial hesitation, she was the one to first step out of the car and face the bittersweet familiarity of walking into Ethan’s apartment.

Ethan followed close behind, only stepping in front of her to unlock his front door.

Jenner greeted them with the same exuberance he had every time he saw Charlie. Despite the overwhelming tide of sadness that threatened to pull her under, she returned his greeting with smiling affection and scratched behind his ears. Ethan instinctively moved towards the bar cart in the corner of his living room.

From here, it was easy to watch her. She fit too well into his apartment. She seemed to be part of it now, so engrained that he wouldn’t recognize the space once she was gone. Even her pantsuit, which had grown wrinkled as it carried her through the trial and following celebration, matched the pillows on the couch. And her smile, so golden and pure, shimmered brighter than the lamp at his side.

“Scotch?” Ethan offered, holding up the decanter as he poured himself a glass. He was generous with his serving. He needed all the strength he could get.

“If you’re having one,” Charlie agreed, cautiously stepping towards him as Jenner returned to his bed and toys.

Ethan offered her the glass wordlessly, and she accepted it with a small, thankful smile. As she took the glass, their fingers touched, and both were startled at how warm it felt. Ethan considered not letting go and just taking her hand – for now, forever.

But he let go, and as she brought the glass to her lips, he realized what was so strange about her smile tonight. It was _bittersweet_. He wistfully remembered how bright he’d made her smile under this roof.

Deep down, Ethan always suspected he would disappoint her. From the moment that she stepped foot in his apartment, she was in danger of being hurt by him. She’d entered angry and frustrated that he had abandoned her, and now, she would leave the same way.

He couldn’t wait any longer. He couldn’t carry the unspoken burden of withholding the truth. He deserved her anger, disappointment, and stinging rejection.

“I need to tell you something,” he blurted out, neglecting the forgotten preparations he’d made. There was urgency and panic in his expression, and Charlie’s pulse quickened.

Not yet.

 _Please, don’t tell me. Not yet,_ she wanted to tell him. She wanted more time. She wanted this drink, this night, and every night after. She’d thought that, once they were in his apartment, she could accept the time limit on their arrangement. She thought that the knowledge would prompt grace and acceptance, but against her better judgment, she resisted and denied. Rather than preparing herself for the inevitable pain, she longed to pretend that it would never come.

But it had.

The panic swelling in her chest settled into a bittersweet smile. Eyes clouded from tears threatening to fall, she shrugged as she admitted, “I know, Ethan.”

Ethan suspected as much, but that didn’t weaken the blow. “How?”

“You underestimate hospital gossip,” she said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe she was right. If Ethan hadn’t wanted it known, he could have taken far more care to hide his meeting with Naveen and Harper. Anyone could have seen them together, and no one could doubt their intentions. Nobody expected Ethan to stay gone – not even Ethan, if he were honest.

Charlie had so many questions. Why did he do it? When did he decide? Why did he want to return? What did that mean for them?

But looking at Ethan’s guilty expression, there was only one question worth answering, and she already knew the answer.

And just like that, her worst fear became her reality. The panic she’d willfully ignored now stared back at her tauntingly. She’d only just found him, and now, she was to lose him again. Whatever secret hope she’d harbored that he’d continue their relationship in secret was decimated.

But it was his own words that rung in her ears, balancing hope and betrayal on a razor-sharp knife.

_He promised he wouldn’t leave me._

Thus, with no real promise of a positive answer, she asked, “Is this the end?”

Ethan wanted to say “no.” He wanted to tell her how much he cared for her and what this weekend had meant to him. He wanted to lavish her with appreciation for her mind, her smile, her body, her affection, and her understanding. He wanted her to know that she’d made something precious out of the worst time in his life. He wanted to ensure her of his undying appreciation and to thank her for what she’d done for him and Naveen. She wanted to let her know that he…

He loved her.

He wanted to tell her all those things, but all he could manage was a simple, “Yes.”

The weight of his words crashed into Charlie, knocking her back. She averted her gaze, unable to look at him any longer. Draining her scotch, Charlie walked away from Ethan, forcing herself to swallow her tears. She didn’t want to cry in front of him. She wanted to run away, to never have to face Ethan Ramsey again. All she would have to do was step out of that door and go home. She could save herself from the pain if she just kept running.

But Charlie didn’t run.

She wondered if she had overthought their weekend together. It was only a few days, really. Even if she’d spent nearly a year fighting the slow build of affection, it was just a weekend. They were emotionally vulnerable, and she wanted something to love.

Maybe none of this was serious. Maybe adrenaline, pain, and anger bonded them. Perhaps she would numb quickly and find indifference when she gazed upon him.

But she knew she wouldn’t.

A weekend or a lifetime, Charlie cared deeply for Ethan Ramsey, and he was breaking her heart.

Knowing that you’ll break a heart and watching it happen are two very different things. Ethan had never hated himself more than he hated himself now. It was an uncomfortable dynamic he was now trapped in. He was the one who had caused her pain, but he desperately wished to console her. He just didn’t know if she wanted it.

Normally, Ethan would have stood by silently, like a doctor watching a patient digest difficult news. But how the hell could anyone call this normal?

With only a moment’s hesitation, Ethan approached Charlie and wrapped his arms around her from behind, his hands on either side of her waist as he leaned his head onto the crook of her neck. Bent over her, he formed a human shield, trying to protect her from the pain that he had caused. To his surprise, Charlie welcomed his touch, leaning back into him. With one hand on top of his and the other tangling in his hair, she leaned on him for support as she chased off the quiet sobs that shook her body.

Ethan kissed her soft, exposed skin.

She still smelled like him. Beneath the delicate notes of her perfume and the faint scent of tequila, he found a hint of his body wash lingering on her skin. The realization caused him to tighten his grip on her waist. He slowly wondered what it would be like to let her go. Would he actually be able to do it?

He imagined working beside her every day, standing close but never this close again. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to do it. He’d have to run away, at least for a few months…

They stayed like that for a while, both silent as they accepted the devastating truth. They didn’t cry or wail or fight. They just… _stayed_. Neither of them attempted to leave their embrace. They held each other with quiet resignation.

After a beat, Ethan could no longer ignore his protective instinct, so he whispered, “Have you eaten?”

Charlie nodded, forcing him to shift his head out of the crook of her neck. The movement made her untangle her fingers from his hair, placing her other hand on his. Without looking at him, she smiled softly, “Yeah. My friends wanted me drunk, not getting my stomach pumped tonight.”

“Good friends,” Ethan nodded thoughtfully, kissing the back of her head.

Charlie closed her eyes as he kissed her head. Like this, she could almost forget that he was breaking it off with her. She could pretend that it was just another night and that she still had him.

“You missed a lot of tequila shots,” Charlie told him softly, “And speeches. And speeches _with_ tequila.”

“What a tragedy,” Ethan smirked, hiding his actual regret. He wished he had been there. He wished that he could have stood beside her, proudly bragging about her victory and showering her with the affection he deserved. But he knew that, even if he had been there, he would have been in the back, quiet and eager to hide their relationship. There wasn’t a happy ending for them. The moment he met her, he was doomed, but he couldn’t stop himself from falling.

Her fingers pulled at his before intertwining, squeezing his hand as she looked back at him over her shoulder, “A few residents developed a drinking game to celebrate their last night before you returned as an attending.” There was a quirk in Charlie’s smile, a playful jest, but sadness in her eyes.

“I _am_ an asshole,” Ethan remarked, leaning in to kiss her nose.

To his surprise, Charlie tilted her head and captured his kiss. She shifted to face him, staying in his embrace. As she did, the hem of her shirt shifted, exposing her soft skin. Ethan’s fingers landed on her bare skin, slipping further up her shirt to rest on her waist. His fingers dug into her skin as he tugged her so close that there was no space left between them.

She tasted so sweet, so intoxicatingly familiar. It was the kind of taste that was perpetually exhilarating. It was something he’d never tire of, even if he wanted to. 

Charlie’s arms looped around his neck, her hand slipping beneath the warmth of his grey sweater. Her nails grazed his skin, and his kiss responded, growing more passionate. Taking his response as encouragement, Charlie tugged on his sweater. He released her lips just enough for her to pull the shirt over his head. She thoughtlessly discarded it on the floor, too consumed with his touch to care. As soon as it was off, Charlie’s hands roamed the strong, muscular plains of his chest.

“Are you sure?” Ethan watched cautiously, trying to calm his breathing. He didn’t want to force her into anything, especially after breaking her heart only moments ago, but holy hell, he wanted her.

“Yes,” Charlie nodded fervently, pulling her back to him, “ _Please._ ”

That was all he needed.

Ethan stripped Charlie of her blazer, allowing it to fall to the floor in a heap. His hands were greedy as they slipped up her shirt and roamed her torso. His callused fingers elicited a gasp from Charlie’s lips, and as he roamed higher, the shirt followed. By the time he reached the soft lace of her bra, all Charlie had to do was raise her arms for him to strip her of her shirt.

When it was gone, Charlie leaned back to him. Knowing that she was going to lose him made it all the more intoxicating to be close to him. The white lace of her bra scratched at Ethan’s bare chest, leaving red marks on his skin. She bit softly on his lower lip, earning his groan as she pulled him down closer to her. With one hand on his waistband and the other on the back of his neck, she pushed him towards the couch. When his knees hit the back of the couch, he obliged by falling back into it. Charlie climbed on his lap, straddling him, and her lips strayed from the kiss. As her lips brushed along his jaw, his stubble scratched deliciously at her skin, and when she hit that one spot between his jaw and his neck, he leaned his head back and allowed himself to enjoy it. The last thing on either of their minds was the morning.

Ethan’s hands roamed her back before landing on the clasp of her bra. Unbuckling it effortlessly, he caught it fall out of the corner of his eye. His hands ran the length of her back, stopping at her waistband and shifting to her abdomen. Slowly raising his touch, he felt the tension of anticipation in Charlie’s body. Her lips went slack as his hands cupped her breast.

“ _Ethan_ …” she murmured his name like a plea for more.

And in that moment, Ethan thought that hearing his name on her lips was the best sound he’d ever heard.

“Yes?” he whispered, his breath hot against her ear.

Charlie laughed softly, playfully biting his earlobe, “If I’m not naked in the next few minutes, I might die.”

Ethan laughed, his hands returning to her hips. As he unfastened her pants, he pushed her to stand. She obliged, but when she moved to take off her clothes, Ethan stopped her.

“It would be irresponsible for me not to oblige you then,” he whispered, sitting up further to brush his lips across her hips. Charlie’s hips jerked in surprise, instinctively moving closer to him. His touch was slow and reassuring as he ran his fingertips along her clothed thighs. Even separated by the thin cloth of her dress pants, Charlie formed goosebumps.

Just when Charlie thought she might explode, Ethan unzipped her pants and shimmied them off her, holding out his hand for her to take. She did and stepped out of her pants, kicking them away. Now, she stood in front of him in only her panties, a flimsy piece of lace she’d worn with the sole intention of him taking it off.

His squeezed her ass with a playful smile. He knew she’d worn them for him, and it made him want to rip them off right then and there. Looking up at her, Ethan lost whatever playful remark he was going to say, and he just marveled at her.

_She’s so beautiful._

Ethan lost his breath, suddenly distracted by her.

Sensing his attention, Charlie bit on her lower lip as she stared down at him. Without realizing it, her fingers were back in his hair, smoothing over her messy handiwork.

“I’ll miss you,” Ethan didn’t intend to say it, but he did.

The statement caught Charlie off guard. She opened her mouth to respond, but the words died on her lips. Closing her mouth again, she didn’t even try to hide the tears springing to her eyes. Her hand on his cheek, she smiled sadly and told him the truth.

“I already miss you.”

Ethan stood, cradling her head in his hands as he leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was softer, sweeter somehow. It was a million little compliments and expressions of affection. It was the lifetime of love he wanted to give her.

Ethan’s hands roamed down her back, landing on her ass and gently urging her to wrap her legs around him. She obliged, and he wordlessly carried her to his room, never breaking their kiss once.

Even without the lights, Ethan’s room was illuminated by the shimmering cityscape and full moon. He could see her so clearly that he didn’t bother with a light. He wanted to see her tonight.

Carefully lowering her to the bed, Ethan reluctantly released her. Leaning up on her elbows, Charlie watched as he stripped from his remaining clothes, her eyes full of lust as she licked her lips. This man had no right to be this damn attractive.

Ethan caught her shameless stare and smirked in response, climbing on the bed in front of her. He kissed her knees first, then the delicate skin behind it. His hand followed, his touch nearly a ghost, and then he kissed her thighs. And higher, he nipped at her skin, causing her to jump in surprise. She watched him work, unable to tear her eyes off him. Spreading her legs apart, Ethan hooked his thumbs in her underwear on either side of her hips. He had to be delicate with the lace to preserve it, and he kissed the newly exposed skin on her hip.

“I bought it for you to rip,” Charlie’s words were so soft that Ethan almost didn’t catch them. His eyes flew to hers, his eyebrows raised. There was a challenge in her expression, and it prompted a devilish grin.

“As you wish,” Ethan bit her lip, making her lose her breath. Her chest swelled with anticipation and delicious delight as she watched him rip her underwear apart, discarding the pieces on his bedroom floor.

The _riiippppp_ sound was so much better than she expected, leaving her nearly delirious and high.

Ethan pushed her legs apart, his wet tongue lazily licking her folds before finding her sensitive nub. With just a flick of his tongue, Charlie shuttered, falling back to his king-size bed. His tongue expertly explored the apex of her thighs, bringing her right to the edge and then … _stopping_.

As Ethan pulled away, Charlie leaned up, looking at him incredulously. In silent answer to her unspoken question of _What the hell?_ , Ethan kissed her hips and then her abdomen and her breasts. Her skin was flushed and hot to the touch as Ethan wrapped his lips around her nipple, and she released a delicious sigh of contentment.

Ethan kissed further up. Her collarbone… her neck… her jaw… her chin… her lips.

Charlie met his kiss with fervor, her hand skating his chest and gently wrapping around his member. Ethan groaned into her lips, his eyes fluttering closed as she touched him.

“ _You can do anything you want to me…_ ” Charlie’s voice was husky and full of want, and it was enough to drive a man mad.

“I want to see you,” Ethan replied, pushing her on her back. With his hands on her thighs, he pushed her legs far enough apart to accommodate him. Charlie hooked her arm around his neck, watching him intently as he entered her.

“ _Ethan_ ,” she gasped, eyes closed as she savored the fullness of him inside of her.

“Look at me,” Ethan demanded, and she obliged. On top of her, a bead of sweat forming on his brow, and looking at her like that, he had never looked sexier.

Ethan’s next thrust was slow and purposeful, and she responded to every movement. The next was purposeful but not as slow. And the next. And then the next, he was losing grip with his control. She was so warm, so velvety soft. So perfect. So _Charlie_.

“Mmm…” Charlie moaned, and Ethan shifted her legs, moving her so that he could drive deeper.

Charlie was sure that she was going to combust. Her skin had turned that delicious shade of pink, the one she turned right before she collapsed with the pleasure.

Ethan went deeper and faster, and it was nearly too much…

“Ethan,” she warned, and he captured her lips in his kiss. He couldn’t stand it anymore, but he wished they could have lasted forever. As far as he was concerned, this was heaven.

“Charlie,” her name was a sacred word on his lips. She tightened around him as she reached her climax, and he watched as she fell apart, warm pleasure ravaging her body and numbing her to the rest of the world. And he couldn’t help but fall with her.

Ethan’s head fell to her shoulder, spent and still dazed. His arms looped around her waist as he kissed her shoulder. He fell back to the bed, pulling her to his side, and he slowly moved out of her. Her leg lazily draped across his as she leaned her head to his chest.

The afterglow was soft and warm. It was absolute bliss.

And they basked in it together, silent but for the sound of their ragged breathing.

But it couldn’t last forever.

Ethan watched Charlie with a tight chest. This was it…

This was the last time he would have Charlotte Greene in his bed. He wouldn’t wake up again to her wild, blonde curls in his face. He wouldn’t feel the warmth of her body and smell the scent of her perfume on his sheets. He was really losing her…

He was overcome with regret, but he didn’t know what he specifically regretted.

Was it taking his job back? Was it making promises to her that he couldn’t keep? Was it having her at all? Or was it the curse of being her attending?

“Stay the night,” he whispered. He couldn’t let her go now…

She shifted to look at him. She knew he was in pain, too, but she was still startled by the sadness and desperation in his eyes.

She nodded softly, “Okay.”

“We can… we can say our goodbyes tomorrow,” Ethan added.

“Yeah,” she murmured, dread spreading through her limbs. It was much colder than what she’d felt with him in this bed, and it felt wrong.

Then there was silence.

They both had so much to say but so few words.

After what felt like an eternity, Ethan whispered, “I really will miss you.” He felt like he needed to assure her of his deep regret and admiration. He worried that, with how it was ending, she seemed like she was feeling this alone. But she wasn’t…

“I’ll miss you, too…” she snuggled deeper into them. She hesitated with her next sentence. She was already delicately balancing anger for her rejection and sorrow for losing him, and she worried that what she wanted to say would throw her too far to one side. Carefully, she said, “We don’t have to, you know.”

Ethan looked at her, “What?”

“We did _this_ in secret,” Charlie didn’t elaborate further. She didn’t need to.

She was offering a secret relationship when they returned to the hospital, and damn if it wasn’t tempting…

“ _Charlie_ …” Ethan sighed, his eyes full of an emotion that verged on pity, and it made Charlie avert her gaze immediately with shame. She was rejected. “You know that we can’t. I’m your supervisor. It’s unethical, and it could destroy your career. I care about you too much to allow you to risk it.”

“Yeah, of course,” Charlie murmured, trying not to cry as she looked around the room for something to distract her.

Damn him and his minimal decorating.

“It’s just…” she began but didn’t have the strength to finish.

 _I promised I would stay_ , he finished for her.

He really was a piece of shit.

“I’m so sorry, Charlie…” he whispered, his voice raw with genuine meaning, “When I promised you, I didn’t know how this ended.”

He felt like a real prick for invalidating the promise he’d made to her with excuses. The only real excuse he had was that he was in love with her and made a foolish promise he was in no place to make. But how could he reject her and then admit that he was hopelessly in love with her?

“It’s okay,” she nodded her understanding, but she still wouldn’t look at him.

Ethan shifted, leaning his head on his arm to look down at her, and she cautiously met his gaze.

“I care about you, Charlie… I’m so sorry,” he ran his hands through her hair.

“I care about you, too,” Charlie admitted. She felt something weird in her throat, like there were three words she meant to say instead but never found.

“If I’m going to lose you tomorrow, I just want to be with you tonight,” Ethan kissed her lips softly, and to his relief, Charlie kissed him back.

Ethan pulled her closer, kissing her forehead and she tucked her head into his chest. His fingertips drew lazy patterns on her skin. He never wanted to fall asleep, but eventually, he had to.

Ethan fell asleep with the safety of her in his arms, and Charlie hoped to follow.

She tried, and she tried. But she failed. She fell asleep once or twice, briefly, but couldn’t stay asleep. She was consumed with dread. She couldn’t fathom saying goodbye to him in the morning, waking up and putting on her scattered clothes as if this were just another one-night stand. She would have to kiss him one last time and hide her desperate pleas. She didn’t trust herself not to beg him to stay, and the thought of another rejection turned her stomach to lead.

Turning to Ethan, she kissed him soft enough that she didn’t disturb his peaceful slumber. While he lived in the dream that she was still his, she was stuck in the hell of reality. The anxiety of losing him had been building since Naveen’s cabin, and now, it was fully realized.

She slowly untangled herself from his embrace and sneaked out of bed, still unsure what she intended to do. With the bedroom door still open, it was easy for her to slip out of the bedroom without waking him. She wandered into the living room, lingering by the bar cart and considering taking a drink.

But when she thought about climbing into bed with him, being that close and yet so far, she knew…

She couldn’t do it.

She couldn’t be with him and know it was a lie. She couldn’t wake up and smile politely as they awkwardly picked up her clothes and helped her dress. She couldn’t share a goodbye kiss with the knowledge that it was their last. She couldn’t leave his apartment and sever their relationship.

And just like that, those three words that had been on the tip of her lips all weekend finally materialized.

 _I love him_.

The realization hit Charlie with enough force to knock her down. And then the tears came, and the desperation was complete.

Charlie Greene loved Ethan Ramsey, and she had already lost him.

Charlie stood, wiping at her face as she collected her clothes from Ethan’s floor. She dressed quietly and searched the kitchen for a pen and paper to write him a note. She had to explain what she was doing and why she was leaving.

As she penned her goodbye letter, those three words came back.

 _I love you_.

Charlie stopped writing in shock, and as she re-read the note, she instinctively crumbled it into a ball and shoved it in the pocket. She leaned into the kitchen island as she tried to silence her sobs. She’d never been in pain like this, and she didn’t know if she could survive it.

She couldn’t stay like this. She couldn’t live in this hell for another moment, and she knew that, if she wrote this letter, it wouldn’t leave her. If she continued to see him, she would come back here again and again. For her own wellbeing, she had to cut off ties and keep those three words to herself.

She couldn’t live with Ethan breaking his promise, so she didn’t give him the chance.

Ripping out another piece of paper, Charlie scribbled a note with only one word and carried it into Ethan’s bedroom. He was still sleeping peacefully, and Charlie couldn’t help but walk up to him. Her fingertips ghosted his cheek, overcome with the swelling of her heart.

How had this cold son of a bitch made her love him?

Forcing herself to stand, Charlie placed the note on his bedside table, and while her legs could still carry her, she walked out of his bedroom and out of his apartment. She didn’t stop moving or dare look back until she was out of his building, calling a car with her nearly-dead cellphone. And a tear didn’t dare slide down her cheek until she was in the safety of the backseat.

Ethan woke with the rising sun, silently cursing himself for still neglecting curtains. Eyes still closed, he stretched in his king-size bed and felt soreness from their activities the night before. As he stretched, he noticed the emptiness beside him and the cool touch of the sheets.

Eyes flying open, Ethan looked for Charlie but found no one there. He didn’t hear the sound of the shower, nor any noise in the kitchen.

_Where could she be?_

Ethan crept out of bed, stepping into a pair of boxers as he looked for the young intern. His bathroom was empty, and there was no sign of anyone having been there. The kitchen was spotlessly put together, except for a loose notebook on the counter. The living room looked the same. Except for…

The color drained from Ethan’s face as he realized that her clothes were gone.

 _She wouldn’t…_ he tried to calm himself as he moved back to the bedroom. She must have gotten dressed and gotten coffee or something. Surely, she would be back. She wouldn’t have gone without a goodbye, and this couldn’t end with a midnight dash out of his apartment. It was too meaningful. It deserved a proper send-off, a proper discussion.

But Ethan didn’t have to look for an answer for long.

On his bedside table, there was a torn piece of notebook paper with one word written in her clumsy handwriting.

 _Goodbye_.

Ethan fell to the bed, staring at the paper in horror.

“No, no, it can’t-“ Ethan grabbed the paper, flipping it over with the expectation of finding a note or a letter or just some explanation. But it only had one word.

Ethan’s breath grew ragged with anxiety.

 _She left me_ , he thought to himself.

He’d never imagined such a horrific ending, but now, it was here.

Ethan didn’t know he was crying until tear drops landed on the note, and he ruefully wondered if he should be grateful. After all, he never really had to break his promise.

He never left Charlie because she left him first.

And now, she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I began this series almost a year ago, and I’m so happy to see the ending finally materialize. I hope that you enjoyed it and that you continued to read even with my random hiatuses. In the end, the chapter strayed from my original plan, but I cried while writing it so it must have gone down the right path.
> 
> I’m so happy to see this through and show you what I’ve been planning all this time!
> 
> Look out for a new series set during OH2 coming soon!
> 
> If you want to stay updated, follow me on Tumblr @AlwaysMyChoices.


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